THE ENDLESS LIST

So I was walking down the lane and this random thought pops up in my head. Why not make a list of the things you dislike. The list can never be completed but why not jot down what comes in my mind at that point of time. So it goes like this (Something you really shouldn’t bother giving a glance too… a piece of psychotic mind)

I HATE (Subject to additions in like every 5 min)

1) Seeing fake branded underwear’s on the street side. Like this mallu (the slang is cool right :P) edition of the brand JOCKEY. Here it’s JOCKAY. Like your Southey comrades have an “AY” added to the end of every normal sounding English word and others. BABAY,MOLAY, EVIDAY, POGANDAY…and so on. How to forget the version for PUMA here. It’s POMA. God ghastly!!!!

2) Runny Vanilla Ice-cream, I can deal with any other almost melted ice-cream but not Vanilla for Christ sake! Yes you can blame my ugly mind for thinking titled and twisted. (If you even know what I mean. I direct you to glance at point 20 before coming to a conclusion)

3) Black nail polish. Now what’s with them chicks wearing that colour on their finger and toe nail? Its like being EMO and GOTH (I never get the difference between the two) is now the IN thing. It rarely suits the Indian tone!

4) People acting like they know stuff. When you are trying to explain or tell things to someone and they pose and give their opinion as if they hold a degree regarding the topic. In real the opinions they voiced is worth killing the person hearing it.

5) Never having enough money in your purse. Now that’s like something I live with. Money is never enough especially for a girl of my age and a person of my lifestyle. ( Hoping that one day the saying Money on trees does come true and money plant really does produce crisp green paper)

6) Hearing your roommate COOCHYCOO with her boyfriend while you are having cold war with yours that night. Jealousy is the other name for it.

7) Bhojpuri Movies and music- The worst movie you can ever come across with the weirdest names. Dont be surprised if you come across songs with title "SANIA MIRJA KA NICKAR" or movie title as "DOOBTI NADI MEIN TAIRTI LAASH" :P

8) Having a bad hair day. My hair is hard to manage and it’s a nightmare to get up early morning and finding random straws standing on your head.

9) Not getting my expectations met up to. I have this disorder and the main reason behind me having an ugly head. I expect a lot and rarely are they ever met.

10) Emotional Blackmails. Especially by your mother pouring out crocodile tears to make you behave the way she wants.

11) Having my Chocolate Bar finished and licked off in a moment of time. I hate it!! Why cannot it last like till I get completely satisfied. If magic was a reality!!

12) Fat DOSAS and APPAMS. I like them crispy and browny!! DAMN YOU hostel DOSA!!

13) Clothes not ironed. So I have an explanation for this. I am a VIRGO. I hope that explains my urge for clean and crisp things. Hostel has been capable of changing me a bit though.

14) PIMPLES. God I hate having a pimple and I hate seeing people with too much pimple on their face. I know it’s rude but that’s how my system works.

15) EGG WHITE. I have no clue but they give a pukish sensation to me. I like breaking boiled egg cover but I can’t imagine eating an egg white of a boiled egg. They remind me of a human cheek (don’t ask me the relation).

16) JUSTIN BEIBER and HIMESH RESHAMIYA. I dislike them both equally. The first ones a kid who is yet to step into a sexually active life and is already singing adult stuffs his mother probably writes. The other one is like a re incarnation of a wolf. (OMG!!A manwolf with fake hair)

17) COLLEGE. I hate my college and its classes. The only reason I go there is because I have my mobile phone and net for company.

18) My Laziness. I need to get out of my cocoon and shed some weight and control my sweet tooth.

19) Present state of HIPHOP. Everything is commercial and T-PAINish these days. The real rap skills are drowning under the marshes of commercialism.

20) MILK and MILK products (except ice-cream and milk pedas off course). I hate white stuffs (excluding the basic staple food rice). Now that explains the runny vanilla hater. (damn you pervert people)

21) HAIRY PEOPLE WITH HAIRY UNDERARMS. A basic body razor costs 45 bucks if you can’t afford waxing.

22) SMELLY PEOPLE. Especially when you are travelling in a public transport like a bus and the lady standing beside you with her hands up to grasp the balance handle and you can smell rotten egg or sometimes get even a decomposing rat smell. Jeeez!!! Thank you santoor for coming out with cheep perfumes. The situation is better now.

23) People with Oily hair that it nearly drips. What the fuck are they thinking?? IRAQ and AMERICA can fight over the oilfield she has on her head.

24) Woman who really depict the BHOOTNIES (villains) of a Television SOAP. Especially those kind who love to transmit news like an ALL INDIA RADIO and if that’s not enough even make up new stories (for them the reason is the recession in the gossip market)

25) C I D (the television series). I think I was 7 years old when this series started. The man in it has the same old expression throughout (expressed in a better way he looks like he just farted and can smell it..gross!). I am talking about ACP Pradyuman (o whteva). Sony channel is like airing that 24*7 or atleast whenever I switch on to it. Damn that old man and his worthless pimps.

Now that I realise that the list has already touched 25 things, its better I stop. The list has many more stuffs to be added but blogspot might sue me for the longest blog ever. An ugly head hates a lot of things. Mind it!! Btw just saying that MIND IT reminded me of Rajnikant. Try playing his movies in mute and voice your own dialogues. You will love it!

MY POOR LAPTOP

Lying never makes me feel guilty. I take it as an art, which rarely people mask perfectly. It’s like the truth you secretly wish was a reality but yet happy that it isn’t. You wish the lie is the truth for the sake of the person hearing it. So that it isn’t so hard to prove and explain. But you are happy that its still a lie for the sake of yourself. I am talking about the lies you tell to save yourself from the agonizing pain of fights with your friend, your parents, to have something the way you want it, to get something from your parents. I am talking about the lies one tells to earn the feeling of pity from the listener. Normally this type of lie crops up between a child and the parent.

But telling a lie gets so frustrating when you know that the listener understands that you are faking the point and yet plays on with it. He accepts the fact you are lying and yet lives with it. He does this just because he loves you.

Too much of useless philosophy right. This bitch should better get spot on the point. I am basically talking about my dad. Living in a hostel far away from home usually helps you to earn some extra love and care from your doting parents. Now another face of living in a hostel is MONEY. Your new friends circle, your new lifestyle, your new experiences, all need money. It’s not like the school days where you could smile at your mom and ask for 20 bucks for the yummy Samosas from your school canteen or the occasional movie get together. Now the scene is big and a big drain in the pocket (my parents offcourse). You need money and lots of it. The thousand bucks you withdrew a day or two back suddenly disappears under mysterious circumstances. You know you spent it but How??? Where??? (Let’s leave it to the almighty).

You start looking for random lies to be told just to make some money. You look around your hostel room for random things which could be faked as broken or needs some mending to be done. You look around for books to be bought but not actually bought, bed sheets to be bought but in reality aren’t, laptop to be fixed but never actually required.

Now that I have spoken the word laptop let me finally come to the point (thank you for having the patience to read so far). Lately my laptop has been my money maker. I need money and I give a call to my father and tell him that it needs some repairing to be done and repairing it requires more than a grand. He actually buys the lie for a couple of times. And then one fine day when you again need money you have this conversation with your father-

Me- Accha the laptop backstabbed again, its not working properly and you know the joint between the window and the keyboard is lost. Needs to be fixed .
(in reality the window is actually in a bad condition but works just fine and no repairing is needed)

Dad- Beta how many times this is happening. Its making a hole in my pocket.

Me- what can I do. All my data are in it and I need to repair it. You can talk to the computer guy yourself if you want.

Dad- you know I wont call any repair guy. Who knows it might be one of your friend who is helping you out to deceive me. I have gone through your age beta!
Me- (trying to recover back from the Cardiac Arrest his words made) Accha!! Don’t you trust me. I really need it to be fixed.

Dad- I trust you honey but you should know the “the crook is always one step ahead of the police”

Me- (Fighting the waves of dizziness his words are bringing me) I understand papa.

Dad- the money will be credited by the evening.

With this the conversation ends. You don’t know whether to rejoice because you have got the money or to be stunned because you realise your father really knows you are lying yet working on with it.

It doesn’t end here. Talks are going on in my family to get me a new laptop. My poor old laptop is seeing its end near. The money he helped me make!!

AN UGLY HEAD

Writing after a long long time, but as long as it’s coming from the mind entangled with the heart, who cares. Amateurish but can be surely dealt with.

         Of late I have been having this strange emotional fixes where things seem bright one day and the very next moment they are like dark clouds with the silver shining raped off. It’s like I have been seeing the brighter as well as the ugliest side both in the gap of a split second. I console myself saying “Baby you are just growing up and you have to go stomach the wicked snarls and sometimes the malevolence of life.” I think everyone goes through this, but obviously every person takes his emotions and feelings as par excellence to those surviving besides him and so do I.

        You get into a relationship thinking you won’t sink in too much because the future remains uncertain and you hold your guards up and sail into it. But the guard falls down and you eventually drown into the relationship that it scares you. The relationship you knew your heart can resist and keep it as the present moment of happiness becomes the fear factor you live with. You don’t want to loose it but you don’t want to keep it because it’s scary. Because it has the power to break you, to change you, to make you, to hypnotise you. The character in you which you are so proud of and in my case my so called practicality clings on to the last straw it sees to stop itself from drowning. Nothing works out the way you want it, yet everything happens the way you desire it to be. You heart wants it and your mind recoils at the thought. Your mind is clever and your heart is like a whining kid.

         Even in friendship this ugly feeling crops up. One moment they are like the world to you and you can do anything for them. According to you it happens vice versa and on the brighter days it does. But sometimes the darkness crops in and you see that everything is not that blue and shiny. You will be backstabbed, you will be left alone and lonely, you won’t be understood, you won’t have them at need always. Because of this you tend to return those sentiments and things get worse. Now come on everyone is ruled over by their emotions and you won’t smile at someone who sneers at you. It’s a totally different point whether they meant to sneer or not. It might be a misconception of mind but I hate it.

         The joyful past seems covered in the mist of mechanism of the human mind. You fail to realise that nothing is lost and you get jealous of the bright days the people around you are having. Their perfect lives, their perfect everything. I should start living my life. But again its long time that I realised that I cannot control my head and ups and downs are as inevitable as death itself.

This blog might make no sense to anyone who reads but it does to me and that’s all I care.