Thursday 21 July 2011


5 yrs back-

The two kids have cemented themselves on the back seat, both trying to count the number of black cars that pass by. The mother as always is the one in charge and is beating the driving Dad’s eardrums with the ‘THINGS TO BE BOUGHT’ list. The elder of the two kids, the daughter, is the reason behind the list and the mother’s unnatural nervousness and sudden blood-pressure tweak. She continues to gaze outside the window unperturbed and quiet excited about the new twist she will have in her neat life soon. Suddenly her thoughts are wiped off by her mother’s high pitched voice.

Amma- Look Look! Look at that boy and girl talking to each other outside girls hostel at 9pm. Tch Tch! Anicheta, where is this generation headed to? Look at them! What will her Amma go through if she sees her daughter with a boy at this time?

Papa- Latha! Good kids will not do anything like this. Their Amma Appa sent them here to study. Poor them! Hmm!

Amma- Look at that boy’s jeans. If a wind blows, it will fall down and look at that potti girl, playing with her hair and giggling!

Papa- Leave it now! We have taught our kids better. They will not do anything of this sort. Our girl is going so far from us, but she will always know her roots. Alle Mole?

The (anything to impress) Daughter- Oh yes Papa! Strictly studying!


She looks back at the five years that have gone by and sulks when she remembers the conversation she had with her Amma Appa that night in the car. She came so far from home, strictly for studying as she promised, but now studying was the last thing she did. How many times has she sneaked out of hostel to go to pubs and lounge with her friends? How she the convent product, is now free to talk about anything with the guys? Hasn’t she tried out cigarettes, alcohol and hookah? Hasn’t she even made a boyfriend? Hasn’t she spoken to him late nights and even giggled and played with her hair, just like the other girl? Hasn’t her entire personality changed in those 5 years?

She shudders, but then the other side of her brain consoles her with illogical words. When she looks back, she is happy because she hasn’t done anything which she is personally guilty of. If bad things happened, it just made her stronger and she never repents. She isn’t into drugs, nor drinks, nor smokes. She hasn’t jumped hostel walls for ugly purposes and the lounge and pub with her girlfriends just felt right to her. Falling in love wasn’t predicted by her and nor could she control it. You grow up and change and sometimes you forget to tell your parents about that. Can’t blame them if they don’t understand, because for them, she is still their pinafore clad school going girl. She smiles, because her principles and her roots are still going strong.



  1. Its good to be bad or is it... Looks like u have come a long way in 5 years time . Anything that doesnt kill u will make u stronger :) BTW what is potti

  2. Growing up pains are many but good girl doesn't go bad if she hasn't done anything against her conscience. True story.

  3. I agree with Priyanka.. As long as she hasn't done something horribly wrong or something that she regrets.. good girl is still good :) Not gone bad.. just more wise from her experiences! :)

  4. @Red: I can see you are introspecting. ;) I shiver with the uncanny resemblance our lives have, atleast at the end of the 4th year for me. I have definitely not made bf but talking to guys, late night outings with girlfriends...have happened. Yes, we smile, coz our roots are going stronger. :D :D

    I loved the post!!! :') *Sniff*

  5. I think after a while we learn to keep our parents voices in our head while we live our lives. :) That works as the voice of conscience, always steering us on the right path. :)

    Well written post. :) Most girls will relate :)

  6. This isn't just about the girls, but the boys as well..I second Priyanka..unless you have done something drastically wrong which put's own self conscience to shame..It's fine (If not perfectly fine!)ofcourse everthying can't be shared with ur parents..better you forget sharing it..All these experiences are a part of evert hosteler's life..If you have been strictly studying..damn..there's something seriously wrong..
    Loved the post..being a hosteler,could relate very well with it.

  7. i think u need 2 go thru all the bad things in life first to make a decision against them.. its only thn tht u becum stronger, wiser n smarter :)

    In my case, I fell in love wid all those bad things :D

    Nice post, Red.. very, very righteous :)
    I was thinkin initially tht this is one post u shudnt show ur mom.. but at the end, I felt mom wud b proud :)

    Lovely read, Red :)

  8. I'm where you were 5 years back.
    And my parents expect the same. They don't want me to 'misuse' my freedom.
    But in their hearts of hearts, they know that I will. And even I know that I will. And it doesn't make me too happy.
    But heck, I need to live my life, right?

  9. This was amazing. I could totally relate! :)

  10. I've just got out of home, in college now.

    Many mistakes to make.

    Principles will stay.

    I liketh the post.

  11. Moving ahead and widening the generation gap. As a daughter, I don't mind it. But, I am scared how will I behave as a mother. Lovely post:)

  12. College and hostel life is pretty intriguing. We explore but within the moral limits, without repenting.

  13. @partha- hey thanks for being the first to read. Potti is the malayalam for dumb or idiot.
    @Priyanka- I so agree with the conscience bit. Thanku my girl!
    @Girl at first avenue- wise? Heh i wish i was...maybe after some more mistakes. Heh!
    @MSM- awww dont sniff! We have definitely become stronger and more firm in our principles.
    @Srinidhi- You know i loved your comment so much. Yes they r the conscience.
    @Nirvaan- thankyou! I dnt feel guilty and thats why i am happy. Heh
    @R-A-J- Ioo! You think my mother even knws abt the existance f my blog. Heh. Why u think m anoymous. Sigh!
    @Ananya- well live your life, but dnt forget your family ever. Thankyou babe!!
    @Rachana- Thankyou soo much!

  14. @Peevie Juice- Thankyou!
    @Saru Singhal- Even i doubt if a mother will appreciate the change.
    @Prateek- Morality is definitely an important ingrediant. Thankyou!

  15. Haa!! Its a part of growing up!! And since you know you haven't done anything against your conscience or anything you are guilty of, you are still the good girl!! :)

  16. Brilliant Perspective on the flashback. Ironically change is the only constant in all our lives.

    The last paragraph is really, really well articulated, it took the cake with the icing. You have truly outdone yourself with this post.

  17. @red nice one...
    I can read in between the line and fairly easily assume its based on ur reasonings to the classic hostel change paradigm.. xD

  18. Like I always says, people don't change, circumstances do. You need to experience everything at least once in your life, even if to just get it out of your system. What matters is whether you're able to live with yourself at the end of the day.
    You're right, things like falling in love and all cannot be controlled. In fact, the more you resist it, the harder you may fall for someone. But that's something the older generation cannot digest. So let it be.
    Anything is good in moderation. :) And no, you haven't gone bad. You just grew up, the normal fun way. :) Live your life the way you want to, girl. And if your parents really have brought you up that well, they will understand you as well. And of course there will be a lot of drama at home when the 'love' part comes up. It'll come, and it'll go. You just have to put up with a bit of yelling and accusations initially. They'll accept it in time. Trust me. :)

    (Damn! I really have to do something about posting mile-long comments!! Sorry!)

  19. Nice post. Its just we have grown up and our parents dont realise it as soon as we do.
    And the girl hasnt gone bad. Its nothing horridly wrong she has done. Even if she did smoke I dont think we can call her bad. But well it has different definitions for everyone. As long as principles stay.

  20. Hey Red, A true post. i strongly feel that gud gal is still good., coz i have passed the same phase in my life.they teach you a lot and make you wise. But knowing our limits always help us

  21. Yes. It's true, and it's good. She's doing good, isn't she? :)

    Blasphemous Aesthete

  22. @Cindrella- So true! But y does everything think this about me..heheh
    @Atrocious Scribbling- I second you! If nothing is done against the conscience, then its all good.
    @Achuthan- Thankyou sire!!
    @Spaceman Spiff- Hey i love long comments. Who doesnt? Thankyou. That comment was the best i got.
    @Nia Charms- yes! As long as the principles stay.
    @Bharathi- True very true! We shud knw our limits.
    @Beads- Hah nice to knw ur parents r happy. Such a relief no?

  23. Absolutely! The perfect reply to people who misjudge girls who like to have their share of fun!

  24. Sin is what you feel you have done wrong. In life, other's standards never matter. If you look back to an incident and feel guilty, then you have committed a sin, otherwise all is well.
    As long as we know how to emerge from our mistakes as a stronger and more determined person, it doesn't matter.
    Great post. Very well written.

  25. I feel exactly like she does. I have been a little bad but i haven't done a thing that would be shameful to my parents. Having a boyfriend but not crossing the limits, sneaking out for dates, bunking college to hang out with friends, having a separate life.. Its a part that exists in all of us.

  26. mark twain said, and i LOVE IT,and i quote '20 years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than the one's you did' so dont worry, everything happens for good!CHEERS TO LIFE!

  27. lovely post :)

    very true..
    u are stronger ! when ur roots get firmer :D

  28. Good one! :-)
    Acceptance of change makes one stronger than before!

    Our discretion of what is right and what is wrong may change over time, but knowing the roots is the only things which makes a difference and makes us realize that there is a real thin line between the right and the wrong!

    And good to know that you're still a 'good-girl' :-)

  29. @Anu Krishna-Heh Thankyou!
    @jojofeelinga- True words!! Thankyou!
    @Defiant Princess- Well i dontg know what parents consider shameful :P/Thankyou!
    @maniac. hunter- Cheers to life it is!!!
    @chakoli- Aww thnks!!
    @akansha0 Yes she is a goood girl :P.Thanks!

  30. Hmmm...Growing up is sure a long process that parents never understand:( Listening to your conscience can be the only way to remain sane...

  31. Good and relevant one ! True that people change with time, boy or girl, but the roots, morals and upbringing stays on.

  32. I like it.

    I think, all's good as long as you stay in control, and make your choices in the right head.

    I mean, morality is more about the justness of your actions to others, than your diet really.

  33. @cloudnine-means a lot comin frm u. Thankyou
    @Anita- true!! Thanks:)
    @Sam- she is definitely under control..heh thnkx

  34. Regret, i believe is the worst feeling anyone can ever feel.
    If you don't feel that.
    You're good :)

  35. the 'heart-felt-ness' of it amazing..keep up!

  36. Hey! having fun is not a crime. Relax girl...

  37. @Mugdha- Very true!
    @Pali Tripathi- Thanks :)
    @Purba- Hahaah yes yes...i shall! Thankyou soo much!

  38. Cheer up Girl..I feel you are a grown up girl and much more wiser and street smart than the girl who was counting black cars in the back seat.
    Being strict only means they are trying to save you from pain and other heart aches.Personally one should get hurt a bit to learn the ways of the world..

  39. @Blue Lotus- i totally get it! I loved your comment for its direct and true and actually relieving.heh. Thankyou sooo much.

  40. very true. this cheered me up. iatleast i'm not the only one.

  41. I guess most of us can relate to this post. Changing times huh:)
    Parents our always protective and with time when they realize that their girl is no more the baby they had been trying to protect,they will reconcile with our choices!

    Btw you have been awarded:

  42. parents are**
    (i guess i wanted to say that- our parents are...:P)

    And you are welcome:D
    You totally deserve the award:)

  43. @Jaii Vipra- Yes you are not the only one. Heh.
    @Tarunima- Thankyou so much my girl :)

  44. Circumstances change people. You're what you are today because of your circumstances and you should be happy that you have seen it all and done it all and still have your virtues and values intact.

    End of the day, its we who decide what our virtues must be, not the society.


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