Tuesday 11 March 2014

FIND LOG....


Once upon a time, in a land not so different from ours, lived a beautiful princess. A beautiful brown princess. The princess was loved by her king father and her queen mother. She was allowed to draw on the walls, walk around with a huge towel on her hair pretending to be Rapunzel and they even let her hang upside down on the mango tree right outside their castle. Basically the princess was brought up in the most awesome way ever!

And then the little princess grew up. The naïve princess used to still hang upside down on the tree, much to the private entertainment of the village goons. She wore things that were not princess like but was rated top by Elle magazine and began to attend late night princess parties. She occasionally even smoked on some grass. But she did all of this knowing that her Daddy King and Mommy queen will love her through all her wishes. And then one day when the princess fell in love with a local boy from the flea market, her king dad and queen mother summoned her to their chamber and uttered the three words of doom………….. ‘LOG KYA KAHENGE’

So, the princess took off her princess crown and set out on a long journey in search of these ‘LOG’, in order to find out what they had to say about her princessy affairs.

Castle walls were jumped, the perimeters of the kingdom were traversed, mountains were climbed and rivers were crossed in search of these mystical creatures called ‘LOG’. And just when her princess feet were about to give up, she saw shadows beyond a thick glass of fog. She dragged herself across till she finally saw a huge crowd of ‘LOG’ who were saying too much to decipher. Like a swarm of bees.

The princess concentrated on this particular lady from the gang of LOG, so that she could finally hear what the LOG said. “Pata Hai,Ramu ki beti ka selection IIT mein nahi hua” said one member of the LOG clan to another, to which the other replied “Aur kya tumhe pata hai, Sushma ka beta Videshi Bahu ghar laya hai. Bechari Sushma.”. The princess overheard someone else saying “Are Maloom hai, Suraj ji ki beti ne lou marriage kar li. Ab kaise mooh dikhayenge Suraj ji.” And then came another one “Prakash ka ek beta hua hai aaj. Log keh rahe hain ki wo baccha prakash ki tarah nahi dikhta.” The buzzing went on and on, till the princess fainted because of the headache.

On opening her eyes, she again concentrated to hear more from the LOG. She wanted to hear more about the guy who brought a Videshi bahu home, or about the Ramu ki beti who couldn’t get through IIT. But she couldn’t hear even a faint whisper about them, for they were now replaced by new stories ranging from “Asha ki tummy tuck operation” to “Ranjit ki beti ka short skirt”. There were new stories and the old ones died a happy death.

It is then that it dawned upon the little princess that these news including her princess affairs are like Bread. No one relishes on a stale bread. Once the bread gets stale, a new packet of MODERN SWEET BREAD is bought from Kake ki Dukaan. The circle continues. The LOG needed fresh dough every day.

So the princess returned to her princess castle and declared to her Daddy King and Mommy queen “The LOG  may have too much to say, but whatever they say has a validity period which is very restricted. I think I can survive that.”

And so, the pretty brown princess married the local boy from the flea market and lived happily ever after. Killing fleas.

THE END.

P.S- If I tell such stories to my kids, they might just crawl away and never return.
P.P.S- I lost a tooth yesterday. Long story.

NOTE: Check out the Uber Cool Blog Header made by the amazing Neha from 'NOODLES-Neha Doodles'. Click HERE to check out her work!!!!

118 comments:

  1. Short shelf life for such things agree Red!

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  2. Hahaha! What a take on the ever frustrating "Log kya kahenge". Till date I have never understood why it matters... jo kehna hai kehne do, humara usse kya lena dena? :)

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  3. bwhahahhaha... red.. what has happened to u ?
    seriously girl, such stories even kids cant tolerate... :P
    lol... and thinking abt it, u lost ur tooth ? that long story cud hav made a better blog :P

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    1. I thought this was a good post :(
      :P
      Chalo koi baat nahi :D

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  4. Did the tooth fairy visit you?

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  5. “The LOG may have too much to say, but whatever they say has a validity period which is very restricted. I think I can survive that.” .... That's the perfect answer.... and the one I keep saying to people... and I ended up getting the tag of "Stubborn Girl", which I'm so proud of ;)

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    1. Ah if being independent is termed stubborn, then remain stubborn!

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  6. Loggggggg... Just fire........

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  7. Had a grt laugh over that RED!... So thankyou!... wat will i do without your daily dose!

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  8. Logo ko maaro goli :P and hang upside down as much you want to ;) and kill as many fleas :) awesome post :D

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  9. Wow! Wow! that was a brilliantly written post. I loved it. Seriously! I LOVED THE SATIRE!

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  10. Well people do need something to gossip about in their free time don't they ;) and if ramu ki beti, sushma ki bahu and prakash ka beta can give them their share of entertainment, they should be happy about it and just leave it at that. Hell they are the center of attention/attraction ;)

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    Replies
    1. hahahah Limelight enjoy karna chahiye!! Indeed!

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  11. The title should have been 'Find Log and Kill them !" :Dj

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  12. Lolol! :D
    "Killing Fleas" :P
    You lost a tooth? I have a feeling that story would make for an awesome blogpost. Please elaborate! :D

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  13. Very amusing story about the abstract and amorphous thing called 'they' that keeps changing its interest every minute.The foolish princess who often hung upside down was surprisingly wise to understand it and marry the flea market boy..


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    1. I always look forward to your comment Sir. Thank you :)

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  14. Oh I so loved this. Believe me, I'm gonna read this to my kids one day, so that they do what they want to do without worrying about the LOG. Crazy bunch of people these LOG are I tell you.

    The LOG are already telling my MIL, "Aapki bahu ko bachche nahi horaha kya?" or "Aapki bahu itna tight jeans kyu pehenti hai?" etc etc. Screw them I tell you!

    Poor Prakash though :P

    Lost a tooth? How how how? Take care and eat some ice cream :)

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    1. logon ko kehne do. U rock those tight jeans babe!! And kids....well once you have, they will b there forever! So why the hurry :D

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  15. These log are such a pesky species. Yes, they matter to everyone. You are right about kids crawling away if you tell them such stories :).

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  16. People gain wisdom when their wisdom teeth make formal appearances in their mouth cavity. Here, I see an exceptional case where wisdom struck when tooth was struck down. Pray, did these Log take away your tooth? :P

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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    1. hahaha now that was a wise observation!!!! No God took away my tooth :(

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  17. I thought it's your story until I reached the married part :) Poor Prakash jhi :D
    Lost a tooth? How? We need the story!

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    1. hahahah poor prakash ji indeed!!
      I lost a tooth. Yes I shall :)

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  18. Time to banish these 'log' from our lives....so much is done and not done for them instead of ourselves! This a brilliantly written post!

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  19. Lol on princess going on a search to find LOG creatures. Oh. These LOG are so sick!

    Long stories are often very interesting, especially when you tell it. Tell the tooth story please, otherwise log kya kahenge!!!

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    1. hahahahahahahahah I shall...only because Log kya Kahenge!

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  20. Hey Red, appo kettiya?!!.. Whistles podu..:)

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  21. Hilarious yet so so trueeeeeeeee :(

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  22. Funnyyyyyy! And filled with truth! So, how did u lose a tooth yesterday?

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  23. lol, this made me smile. Thanks for writing :)

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  24. This post is awesome red :) :) and very true too.. How about writing a children story book.. Loved the princess in this story :)

    Loved the new header.. :) neha's work is awesome :)

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    1. heheh my children's book be banned due to sexual contents and crappy stories ;P

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  25. Red darling,

    After I read this post of yours I was compelled to log in on my computer and leave a comment. Such a beautifully written post.

    Now as to why I did not follow up with my questions on IPC. I am very lost with my other 18 subjects. I will email you when I read forensic again. Please do not take this act as being irresponsible and unappreciative of your help. I am really just extremely lost.

    Best,
    Vidhya

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  26. Too good! The log clan, swarm of bees analogy is awesome. Enjoyed the post thoroughly. Somewhy the header is not loading in my office system. Will check it out when home.

    P.S: Would love to hear how you lost a tooth now. Any fights at the courtroom? :P

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    1. hahahah Thnks for reading love! KFC took my tooth.

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  27. Loved this!!! And the new header is super cool!!

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  28. Kuch tho log kahenge; logon ka kaam hai kehna :) And I sure hope it was not one of the irate LOG who knocked off the tooth in reprisal for this piece :)

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  29. hahaahhaa! ua post are always loved! :)

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  30. I think I'm in blogger heaven :) Kudos, girl. We need more people like your princess!

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  31. Loved the post and the header.

    This is the only difference between gossip and facebook. People make fun of others' non-faults while gossiping, and they glamorize their own non-good things on facebook.

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  32. Ha Ha. Good one. After all people have to discuss something for time pass. Life would be so boring without something scandalous to gossip about.

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  33. bahahaha :D :D Kuch toh log kahenge,.,.. logo ka kaam hai kehna... and your kaam is to kill me with stomach-aching laughter... you create a ruckus, girl!!

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  34. Loved the header!! And lost your tooth? haww...and how??

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  35. Hahahaha! Arrey...log kya kahenge? ;) Love the header, Red! You rock ;)

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  36. You are a funny funny girl, Red :D
    I love the new header !

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  37. I just love the new header :)

    Funny as always! Who cares about this LOG

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  38. you're the best story teller ever!
    Pointing out that 'log' are actually 'fleas' made the best of it!
    Plus, losing tooth? Are you fine? how? Why? When? :P
    Take care!

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    1. hehehe swarm of bees these LOG are.
      KFC took my tooth!

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  39. How you wrote a story for gossips, wow! Yes, these LOG do have a validity period, no one can escape but can avoid it by all means . Good one!

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  40. Hi

    that was amazing! a very nice satire on society and never ending gossips. You are very right, a fresh topic or dough is needed every minute. wonderfully presented, loved every bit :D

    Neha's doodles are awesome :)

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    1. Thank you sooooooooo much for reading!!! And yes fresh dough every day it is!!!!

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  41. Very well said, 'It is then that it dawned upon the little princess that these news including her princess affairs are like Bread. No one relishes on a stale bread. Once the bread gets stale, a new packet of MODERN SWEET BREAD is bought from Kake ki Dukaan. The circle continues. The LOG needed fresh dough every day." This will stay with me forever.

    Header is super cool.

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  42. oh my god, that was such a humorous post about "log kya kahenge". You are too good girl. Going in search of "LOG".. hehehehe :)
    The header is really good!

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  43. Something tells me it wasn't a baby tooth. Was it a wisdom tooth?

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  44. Logon ka pata nahin, but, hum kehte hain ki tussi great ho!! Btw, I prefer calling myself a bitch. I love canines! Aur tooth aakhir gaya kahan?

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    1. ghahahahahhah that was awesome!
      Tooth KFC le gaya :(

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  45. I don't know if your kids will crawl away, but I for sure would narrate this beautiful tale to my kids (whenever that happens though :p )

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  46. If we look a little deep, all our problems stems from the fact "what will people say"
    Now lets hear that long / short story of the lost tooth.

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  47. i always want to be the first one to read each one of your blogs. but that never happens :/
    such a wonderful tale this molay. i want to tell such a tale to my kids. to not think of any of the of the society goddam irritating bloody godforsaken piece of waste of thu human society-the LOG which comprises pretty much rest of it leaving your parents and a few here and there. we live in such a hypocritic world. parents bring us up saying you should do what your heart says, but then when it comes to taking any sort of decisions they are like ohhh..no no no..think what the vermas or the sharmas or the menons or the bla bla bla will think. areyyyyy..bhad mae jaaye verma and company.who are they to me that i should do stuff to please them. you know i call myself very modern and on my own and all that..but i still can't get to admit to amma appa that i drink. my hubby has no issues whatsover of me making a total drama queen of myself after a drunken binge. but i dont think i will ever have the guts to say that to my parents. but i dont want to have this equation with my kids. i want to have a drink or two with them when they are of legal age and still make a drama queen of myself after a binge. sigh...hopefully this new generation of parents(us) will be different...in a good way.
    you are awesoem and the header of your blog is super awesome molay.
    Cheers only.

    PS-i had commented on the last blog of yours. but for some reason the comment never came.boooooooohoooooo. i made choley. come for dinner :D

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    1. Areeeeeeeeeeeee my vicks goli vixieeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! I LOU YOUR COMMENTS SOOOO THE MUCH!! Your comments r so like a seal on my posts! Love it! And your husbands loves you TALLI..Soo be talli man! Hicks!

      I ate chole last night. Now GAS! :P

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  48. Log out kar lo, simple :P

    Love the header! She simply did it for you? :O. I want one too.

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    1. hhehe yes she did. I asked her and she did. But yeh I did send her some goodies!

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  49. See the bright side, the only worse thing than being talked about, is not being talked about. ;) awesome post.

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  50. Arre woh sab toh theek hai, tell me, when the Brown Princess returned to the palace all tired and hungry, what did Daddy King and Mommie Queen offer her to feast on? I bet it was a lavish one!
    (See, this LOG has already forgotten why the Princess has ventured far and wide in the first place!)
    (Your future kids will grow up, put all of your stories in a hard bound picture book for children and become millionaires)

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    1. MY GOD!!! I am going to highlight this comment and showto my future kids!!!!
      Thank you reading Sirjee!

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  51. awesome :D :D :D
    and very true...half of he time we are not able to do many things just because of this reason only...

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  52. Where do you get these ideas from? I think you should publish a book soon! :)

    P.S: You are terrific!

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  53. Hanging upside down on Mango trees.? M jealous..:P :P :P I was gripped in the vicious circle of the log clan when I was of that age in Haryana (yup, the state says it all), so I spent most of that precious time making mud toys on the terrace.. :P
    anyways great post Red
    P.S KFC might take another one, save yourself before you turn into ajay devgan..:P
    (yup. My lameness is on fire tonight..:P :P )

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    1. HARYANA indeed said it all man!!!!!MUD TOYS INTERRACE...GAHAHAHAHAHA I am imagining you now!!!
      Are I was eating veg at KFC :( Phir bhi gaya :(
      I love lameness!

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  54. I LOU YOUR BLOG HEADER.

    And believe me, this the LOG will not forget in a looong time. Forever tazaa. Britannia bread.

    Loved your satire.

    P.S Are you still angry?

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    1. I always look forward to your comment!!
      Thanks!!!!!!!!!!
      P.S- I am always angry and HUNGRY! :D

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  55. The header indeed is uber cool. Convey my complis to Neha :) and ur story . my god !
    kuch to LOG kahenge ... LOGon ka kaam hai kehna
    As always it has that red handed mark
    I lou it !

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  56. Lol! Can I get a link to the source of your weird ideas? :P I mean I just loved the princess-connect. Haha!
    By the way, my mum's name is Sushma, and we predict my brother bringing in a Videshi bahu :P

    P.S.: Whoa! That's an artistically amazing header!

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  57. Actually in some cases it is specifically 'char log'. Spray some log-killing spray I say. :-)

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  58. Hahahah! 'Log kya kahenge'... I despise those words! Who cares what people think? Live your life and be happy, that's all that matters.
    Loved the short story. :)

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  59. 'Log kya kahenge has crushed more than ever dreams!'
    Your random thoughts are so terrific! The make lovely posts! :)

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Spit It Out I Say !!!