Monday 13 February 2012

Mole! Let's Shop!!!!

I am a big blot in the name of womanhood. I think I should have been born as a boy, but I am sure I would have turned out to be gay then, because I cannot even imagine rubbing myself to a woman. So, anyway I feel sad to acknowledge the fact that I lack the most basic characteristic of a woman, i.e her colossal craziness for shopping. 

Now this is why I love my Dad. We enter a shopping street, we follow him like a herd of buffaloes  while he does a marathon speed walk from Starting point ‘A’ to the end point ‘Z’ and then poignantly declare that the street has nothing good to offer.  This is followed by my mother nagging me to join her on a secret mission of going to the same shopping street the next day without my father. Shopping with her is a more than just terrifying experience.  

The day starts of with her nudging me out of my sleep, just so that I help her make a list of the things to be bought. She stopped making lists herself from the day the shop keeper boisterously laughed and thus embarrassing her just because she wrote ‘PEARS SOAP’ as ‘PIERCE SOAP. If the list includes ‘Saree’ then I know for sure that my day is doomed.

My mother’s shopping can be divided into three parts- The quarter finals, the semi finals and the finals. She enters a Saree shop and asks the man to show her the latest silk sarees. He starts showing her every silk piece of cloth in his shop, only to realize that the woman is now interested in cotton, because it suddenly dawned to her senses that it is summer. As he shows her the collection, which normal people like me would have bought without even thinking twice, she affirms her likeness with a ‘Hmmm’ and rejects a material with a ‘Tch’. These are the only two words that escape her mouth for what seems like 2 hours. Out of the ones selected, she again does the ‘Hmmm’ and ‘Tch’ process two more times, hence the semi finals and the final round. Sometimes, when there is a tie between two equally amazing sarees, she lets me choose and when I do choose, she buys the one I didn’t. Oh she trusts my taste!

I am the kind of person, who loves shopping when it comes to buying gifts. But when it comes to shopping for me, hell breaks loose. I usually end up shopping alone followed by getting back home licking on a generous scoop Chocolate Ice-cream. The best way to spend money is eating. AMEN!

So, why exactly am I writing about this now? Well, I sent letters to each member of my family for this Valentine’s Day, making them my Valentine. I wrote how much I loved them, how I am what I am because of them and I even let them know what I loved the most about each one of them. Since, I am a narcissist I ordered them to reply to me via SMS, telling me what they loved the most about me. 

My father sent me- “Mole, your mother told me you sent me a letter. Haven’t read it because I am stuck in the office, but your Amma read it through phone for me. I love the fact that you are my daughter and even as you grow up, you are the same innocent little girl at heart
He loves the fact that I am his daughter? What else did he expect!! And about being the innocent girl at heart, I hate to burst his bubble.

My brother sent me through my Dad’s phone- “I know you are trying to impress Mom and Dad by doing this. Anyway, lots of spelling mistakes in the letter. I told you, my school is better than yours! And I love the fact that you are not here to boss over me.

My mother sent me this- “Mole, Loved the letter. Brought tears in my eyes. What I love the most about you is that you love shopping with me.” 

Sometimes, you just have to hide your real feelings. I am!! I have conspired so many times about burning down the shop she is planning to shop in, just so that I can escape the agony. Mothers! The worst manipulators! And btw, never mess with a woman when she is busy shopping. 

P.S- I have been travelling a lot and hence, the lack of action in this space. This sadly, is going to continue for a few more days.
P.P.S- Well, the considerably less comments on my previous blog post, shows that people actually comment on my posts just because I comment on theirs. I couldn’t read and comment on blogs for some days, and the result can be seen on my blog. People believe in the ‘I SCRATCH YOUR BACK, YOU SCRATCH MINE’ policy. I seriously doubt the credibility of blogging.
P.P.P.S- Happy Valentine’s day to everyone who is stupid enough to actually celebrate this. Me and Prateek did a collaboration and ended up with THIS. He is an amazing writer!


    Now I know from where do you get these funny genes of yours :D
    And maybe something is keeping others busy too sweetie :)
    You are an amazing writer, you don't need comments or appraisal to know that.

    We Love You, regardless.

  2. I wish I could agree more but I don't particularly hate shopping :D

  3. When I was young, always tried my best to avoid shopping with maa. Sometimes we would back home without buying a single piece of cloth. And most annoying thing is, she will ask for your choice but never buy it!!
    But things changed when I started earning and took her out for marketing and gifted her saris of mine choice(ofcourse, she was one who approved fabric :) )

  4. Your brother's response was the best! :D

  5. Yep. I agree^ I'm hopelessly addicted too:P
    And that's sweet what you did :) Send them letters.

    Suddenly, all of us get busy :\ me no like..
    The credibility is that there IS no credibility except the loyals:)

  6. i dnt knw what to comment, the posts are funny as hell... and you know that too, dnt u

  7. awwwwwwiiieeee red!!1 Such a sweet post...can i copy the idea and send my family letters and force them to reply....please???? :)

  8. Oh, I hate shopping as well. Can't bear to be dragged around endlessly, and it goes all in vain! Well, you're not the only one. ^^

    Nice read as always. :D

  9. Wow, you sent your family letters for V-Day. A Hat tip to you for doing something out of the ordinary and so what if you forced them to reply.

    My mother is a tornado when it comes to shopping; she once called me 5 hours into a shopping bout and I could visually see that the store was turned inside out and she didn't pick up a single thing in the process.

    Yes, the best way to spend money is indeed on food. You write too well to be influenced by the power of comments, so keep at it. People like me cannot wait for your next post and you know that.

    Nice and Warm post.

  10. Red, I read all your posts religiously because they make me laugh and make for excellent reads. But I don't comment on them all, because well sometimes I'm just too lazy/busy and sometimes it just looks silly to keep saying 'hillarious post,LOL' all the time, coz that's the only thing I can think of saying and after a while it sounds fake, no? I've given the whole blogging/commenting thing a lot of thought and finally come to the conclusion that while comments are wonderful, they shouldn't matter too much to a wonderful writer like yourself :) Don't stop writing. By the way, Hillarious Post!

  11. i have this rule to NEVER ever, and i mean NEVER to accompany mom for any sort of shopping.i learned this from my dad :P
    your dad's message was the best :)

  12. ya.. my dad used to be much the same.. speed walk through the stores.. I'd walk in between , slowing down my pace so that my mom wouldnt get left behind...

  13. hahahahaha.. my mom and me both of us are fast shoppers. I can't stay in a shop for more than 20min. I pick up what I like and i walk out. Which is why i either shop alone or with my mom. Everybody else that i know spend 2 to 3 hrs checking out each and every piece and it drives me crazy!!!

    You sent letters on Vday? Sweet! :)

    I sort of agree with PeeVee on the credibility thing. But honestly I've stopped expecting comments, its so liberating that way. It also makes you write more for yourself than for others and according to me that brings out the best writing in you (which will obviously get you comments ;))
    On my part I only comment on posts that I have something substantial to add/say. But I read every post.. specially the ones by my favorite bloggers.

  14. You are so like me...Whenever I go shopping, I don't buy anything then I eat frozen yogurt which is on the exit of the mall.(Nothing fits me is the reason I don't shop)

    You sent letters...So sweet of you...

    I told you blogging is not fun anymore...:(

  15. I am a shopaholic and my mom is no where near it. She is never interested in shopping unless I drag her outta home and take her..
    She picks saree in ten minutes and doesn't even get excited on buying new stuffs. unlike me who gets a adrenaline rush while shopping, bargaining and even window shopping.. Any day, shopping lifts up my mood and burns out my pocket ;)))

  16. My Papa is pretty much like yours :) But I love shopping ! Especially with my Mummy! There is nothing so soothing and enjoyable than that ! A day spent shopping is a day spent well !

  17. It really sounds as if you are peppering ur folks for something :P

    Whenever I go shopping with my mum i get stress headaches..! Really bad ones.

    So the best way to shop is alone.

  18. My father and I love cracking jokes on my mother when all of us are out shopping :P Mothers can go on shopping, seriously! Specially when there's a sale!
    You're brother!! Haha! I'm still laughing at what he wrote :P

  19. Finally, found someone who hates shopping. Being a girl, its kind of abnormal(according to others) The only thing I love to shop are BOOKS and BOOKS and BOOKS and ofcourse food! Sweet of you to send your parents the letter. Your brother's reply was the best:):P

  20. My mom's shopping trips are rare but long.So is the case with me.I am left with no option but to give her company.Sending letters is cute! Your dad's reply was the best!

  21. Oh...I start with a lot of enthu,ten minutes and I'm bored and depressed! My moms shopping trips are boring and I am called for as the official-carrier-of-heavy-grocery and usherer-of-her-highness's-auto...

    Between I love your bro's attitude...Pass a hug for me and embarass him...

  22. hey RED... firstly happy V day to you..!! loved the concept of writing the letters.. like your brother said, definitely would ve impressed your parents :P heheehhehehe (hey i am the younger one at home too, so i am on his side :D) nice post with prateek too..!! good job..

    n yup.. the blog world surely seems to work on the mutual scratch policy.. the readers are hardly visiting until one pops up at theirs and drops a comment..!!!

  23. Mom's r same everywhere .. my mother makes it a point that she doesnt like shopping with dad but like to go out with him.. although the real reason is my dad cant wait more than 15mins n he gets restless which screws the shopping finally..but i like the lie she tells just bcos i can loot money left after shopping :)

  24. "What I love the most about you is that you love shopping with me.”- I seriously think u should be telling her the truth..;p

    I did the mistake of accompanying my mom for shopping once, and then saw that I never repeated that mistake.:-)

  25. after so long Im here at your space :) yeah as usual had a good laugh..and that letter ..WHOA..girl you rock..loved the way your bro replied :P

    Agreed never ever mess up with a woman when she's busy shopping :)

    Take care

  26. That was hilarious!! :P Although i miss shopping with my mom. :)

  27. Interesting read...

    I have been very lucky when it comes going shopping with my mom... be it saree or jewels my mom trusts my taste a lot... plus our tastes are almost same... so shopping with my mom has been fun so far... it could have been better if money was not a constraint ;)

  28. gosh.. lovely manipulator! enjoyed reading .. i always do..

  29. haha...and you are back-I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVED the quarter finals and semi finals part-pretty much reminded me of my own self and also the hmmm and tch I realize are the universal reactions of confused and over demanding shoppers:)

    this is super duper funny and the opening itself set the mood:-)

  30. High Faive my love, I too hate shopping for myself! The max shopping I do is walk into a store, pick up everything available in black and white in the sixe 'xs' and walk out. Sighh, brands are very unkind to petite people.

    Pierce soap?? Awww, is it me or your mom is actually adorable :D

    Travel travel free bird and enjoy, this is the best phase of life trust me.

    And credits? Ditto with PeeVee and Chandana. You need to write and read without any expectations. Period.

  31. Hilarious as always. And the idea of sending everyone in your family 'love letters' was so cute. I sent my parents as well :D!!
    I guess we never should expect anything in return when we do something we really want to or love :)!!!

  32. ooopppz!!! u just pointed out my agony too....

    nice read
    take care

  33. He he he :) I should say that I am not a shopping kind of girl but I am neither the opposite. I am lost somewhere in the middle. :)

  34. hahahahhaha... that was a hilarious post!!
    I loved it..!
    although its completely opp in my family! :P
    mom does the marathon while me n dad stop at every single shop in a mall! :P
    hahahaha... ;)
    keep writin! :D

  35. Once a friend took to shop for an ear-ring. It took her good 4 hours for just a single pair of ear-ring. I was in an unimaginable state of agony and all she said was, "Bas 5 min baba."
    Mother is balance; she knows when to shop and when to fun.
    But nevertheless I Hate Shopping.

  36. hehehe...i give u, u give me;) Give and take policy, mole! Loved the PIERCE soap:P And as for my shopping mania, my husband crosses himself after handing me over his cards...And i too follow the same ' Hm' and 'Tch'!

  37. haha...its a nightmare shopping wid my mum too..

  38. Aren't mom's all the same!
    My mom does the same thing.-speaks only hmm and ooh, and similar words.
    As a kid, i used to enjoy shopping with mom, but now, its become more of a punishment :/

  39. My mom used to do the same thing!
    So now, I send her shopping with dad.
    I can stay home and watch tv.

    Sry about the previous post. I didn't comment cos I was travelling too.
    Just got back home. Must catch up on a lot of blogging.
    Ps:41 comments is a big number too, you know :P

  40. I'm sorry for not being able to comment because my computer was dead from long time.I told you on twitter :)
    I read your posts via phone which made me laugh hysterically :D
    This one is don't like shopping?Strange :P
    Siblings are like

  41. if you really wanna know what a guy thinks like, heres what most of us do.
    we take a look at the wardrobe, make up our mind beforehand.. eg i dont have a green t shirt.
    meet up friends halfway. eat a lot +/- a beer.
    finally with half the money spent we hit the sales counters, pick up whatever fits, n hit the road:)
    well few lucky ones like me have sisters, which explains why i have a lot of good shirts. the only thing i really have to shop for is jeans.
    and yeah, bang on target about comments and hitting the like button thing. i first noticed it when i saw some bloggers IDs as promoters on every damn blog i read.
    but hell, dont blame the player girl, blame the game.

  42. I so hate shopping too.. but the good part is that my mom is exactly like me, so we get along really well. And that bit about shopping gifts for others, I kept nodding all along! I love doing that too

    And I couldn't agree more when you say that the best way to spend money is on food..

    I so love this post!! :)
    Happy valentine's day! :)

  43. hahaha shopping is so energy consuming ;)

  44. I can't elaborate enough how brilliant a writer you are. :P

    Read this on the way to class. Got a few loud chuckles out of me. :)

  45. Also, not all comments are a reciprocation of your comments on their blogs. :)

  46. Wow. I'm the one who is the major shopaholic here. :P Completely opposite your case :) i bug mom to take me shopping all the time. LOL. :)

    But im still in shock. YOU DONT LIKE SHOPPING? :o




  47. HE he he he .. had me in splits te shopping time with mommy dear

    and the messages .. aww god bless your brother he is trying to help you rectify the errors :)

    and I must say when my grand dad (oh god may he rest in peace), said Bikram bahut syana put hai .. (bikram is a good son).. I asked for him to be at peace is , they all say people who have gone can still see you so I am imagining he can see all my stupidity and how a idiot i am .. oh blesss he is in turmoil i bet :)

    and the scratch my back i scratch yours ..ACHA i did not know that .. why am i commenting here then .. hmmmmm .. you dont come ot mine.. so hey can i delete this comment then ... :) but truthfully i find that too very very common.. dont worry about it ...

    did see the post by prateek and I did COMMENT tooo.. (just telling) he he he he

    have a great time


  48. hehehe I cant stop laughing at what your dad said :D :D :D :D And shopping for a saree is a real pain!! I love to shop for others but i m a complete blank when it comes to me!

  49. I have been keeping busy too, so pardon the absence to please.

    :D I love shopping with my mom but dad confuses me a lot. I prefer shopping alone most of the times and it's a pleasure. BEST time spent ever and mine ends with a coffee ;)

    Cheers, have a fun time..

    *Writing letters home, you are such a darling xoxo

  50. Yess! I like the fact that you hate shopping. I loathe it!!!! Absolutely! :D And your wishes! Ah. :D Burning down the shops... >) And the response to your letter! :D I loved your bro's response.

  51. Oiii I can't but giggle at your post..But sending letters was such a cute and noble gesture.. Really :)

    Btw belated Valentine's to you :D
    And before you put me in the back scratching category :P , might I apologise for not being here.. Was really caught up with college and couldn't comment. Sorry :( ..

    But you know I love you na.. Muaah :D
    Btw I awarded you on my blog.. :)

  52. Hahahah.... 'burn down the shop' .. TERRIFIC!! And I resent that comment about not commenting - I have been WAITING for your blog to appear..... :-(

    But wait was worth it - good, no, AWESOME post!

  53. Laughing all through...loved your brother's reply. He is one naughty kid for sure.

  54. I must say I have become an ardent reader of your blog.. Keep writing.. Well.. you surely would have come across this many a times.. but still

    Surprise awaits..


  55. ur brother's reply was hillarious! :D aaaah woman! what can I say! LOADS OF HUGS AND LOVE! :)

  56. I have awarded you in my blog! Come woman! collect it and flaunt it! :)

  57. hello,
    this blog contain is very useful and very nice information .i'm very glad

    Cheap NFL Jerseys


Spit It Out I Say !!!