How To Tell People They Suck.....

The world is filled with people having an ambition to be something that they are genuinely not capable of.  Every third person is a photographer, every fifth person is a DJ and one out of five people turn out to be a self proclaimed singer or a poet. One thing common about all of them is that they are all victims of a chain of lies. 

  

One does not choose to be a world class wannabe. He/she is moulded into one. I am expected to visit this South Indian Mallu God temple every once in a while, which I do without a second thought because they serve the most amazing Prasadam my critic of a tongue has ever tasted. But off late a problem has emerged and my visits have been next to Nil. The problem is in the shape of a middle aged woman cursed with the voice of an overly enthusiastic frog. Even Autotune will be vain in its attempt to make her voice bearable.  Every Saturday without fail, the woman croaks sings her own compositions, praising the Lord sitting in the sanctum sanatorium and one must appreciate her audacity to do so by using a Microphone. Call it pity or the absence of guts, no one including the beggars sleeping outside the temple has ever told her about how her singing can make a person question his own existence. Even her husband doesn’t stop her from being subjected to the secret & silent mockery of the people. Every Saturday the Lord decides to call it quits and the visiting pilgrims return back home as zombies.

Why cannot people be honest? Sometimes a criticism should not be taken with a pinch of salt because they are facts and however brutal it is you have to accept how you suck at something that you truly are passionate about. Now I love dancing and after a few embarrassing efforts in the club and a few real friends who made me face the fact that while dancing I look worse than an Orangutan gyrating, I had to silently accept that like most of the Mallu Men, even I a woman cannot dance. Not that I dint take dance lessons after that. Still, I suck and I am fine with that.

But then again the world is full of mean bastards who get sadistic pleasure in seeing someone being mocked by half the world for showcasing an art they suck at but have not been told about it yet. A friend from my college has a DSLR camera which was gifted to him from a now dead relative of his. He loves it and he clicks everything including an artistic pattern coincidentally left by a pigeon dropping right outside the college canteen. Everyone knows he is terrible at it and at one point I told him in person that I detest his photographs. But how can one opinion stand against the strong word of his close friends. Real friends are those who tell you that you suck and help you get through it like cheesecake rather than helping you set up a fan page on Facebook and laugh at you with the rest of the crowd. His pictures range from clicks of broken headphones to close-ups of a cat licking its privates. No exaggeration here.

So next time you see someone pursuing an art they truly suck at, let them know about it. They might never talk to you again, but I guess you could live with that. Who knows, they might even thank you later.  And when I say that you tell them they suck at it, I don’t mean “OH FUCK! YOUR PHOTOGRAPHS WOULD MAKE EVEN MONA LISA FROWN. YOU SUCK!!”. Let them know that you appreciate how passionate they are about something but maybe they should work towards learning and improving in their area of interest before publicizing it.  But there are some brats who constantly flash their talent and go “OMG!! Isn’t this the best thing EVAR??!!” Tell them flatly just why it’s NOT and how to make it better and if they keep pouting, tell them that they have a long way to go before this ‘BEST THING EVAR’ applies to whatever art they are trying in vain to master. 

  

After all, the world and a few temples could do better without a few wannabes!! Amen to that!

P.S- Stupid gym instructor wanted to make me supermodel slim in a day. As a result, the doctor has adviced me a month bed rest because of an over stretched and super strained ankle ligament. Damn!!!