Coming out of the Closet.....

I just couldn’t take it anymore. The pressure of the studies, the presence of too much spice in life and the suffocation of being trapped at home right after a superb college life is unnerving in itself. To put a ribbon on all this frustration are my parents waiting for a nod from my side to get me a groom.  At one point I was so frustrated that I allowed them to do whatever they want, which in turn awarded me a paid profile in the Kerala Matrimony site. In a 3 mth membership in that horrendous site, I was bombarded with 72 proposals with half of it from divorcees, or as one called himself ‘a young innocent divorcee’. The rest remaining consisted of 45+ aged uncles and those of my age had moustaches which were either twisted upwards in a way that defied gravity or were long enough to be braided. Imagine a wife braiding the macho muccha of her hubby on their first night. Romantic? Ugh!

So ones the 3 mths paid membership was over, I set my foot down and said ‘ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!’. I have a life after all, if not an epic one. I told my mother to pass on the message to my Iron man father, that his daughter wants no discussion on marriage till she bags the job she is studying for and has made enough bucks to demand a massive dowry from the boy. They were defensive at first but after looking at the success rate I got from the matrimonial site, they agreed to slow down a bit.

And the ‘slow down’ period remained in force for 6 mths after which my 23^rd birthday was celebrated. The alarm on my mother’s head was triggered by some treacherous relatives, according to whom, a girl starts losing her freshness after a certain age and before that she has to be married off to a man with money, like religion, like caste and if possible a good character. I was a now a fruit decaying slowly and I needed a considerate buyer. FUCK THEM ALL!

I am a 23 yr old gorgeous woman! For me I am gorgeous, to hell with everyone who thinks otherwise. Actually, no one is supposed to think otherwise. I have a life to live, make money enough to be able to buy some Gucci shoes and I want to write a disastrous book that still makes it to the best seller list! 

But, a few days back my mother asked me to give her a nice photo of mine which could be pasted on the matrimonial site once it’s renewed yet again. What atrocity is this!!!! I just couldn’t go through the whole ‘HELLO I AM A YOUNG INNOCENT DIVORCEE. PLEASE MERRY ME’ stage.

So, I asked my mother to sit down and look me in my eyes. I held her gently and told her ‘Amma, this might come as a shock to you but I am not sure whether I like boys. I think I am into girls. I am a lesbian’.

EVEN THAT DINT WORK!!! GODDAMMIT!!!!!

P.S- I am straight as a scale. And No I can never imagine myself with a girl. Ughhh!! Not that I am against homosexuality. Hell I even had a lesbian friend once. Yes once. 

P.P.S- I guess this qualifies to be a rant.