THE EYEBROWLESS EXISTENCE

I want to tell you guys something. I do not like people with good eyebrows. It hurts me and pinches me in the gut when I see perfectly shaped, bushy yet trimmed to perfection eyebrows resting like an open umbrella above the eye sockets of other people, with no inclination to a specific gender. While God gave me ample frizzy hair on my head and unwanted hair everywhere else resulting in monthly painful waxing sessions, he cleverly forgot to give me a decent pair of eyebrows. Or should I blame it on my mother? Actually I will. I will never forgive my mother.

  

I have eyebrows like Spock’s. If you don’t know who Spock is, prepare to die you Infidel!! Like I said, the blame rests on my mother for she, being a huge Star Trek fan, spent most of her pregnancy time watching back to back series of Star Trek and imagining herself as Mister Spock himself. Little did she know that her minor imaginative escapades would result in her baby being born with eyebrows that look like missiles resting in their launchers, waiting to be fired. I will never forgive her for this.

Throughout my school life my mother used to cleverly draw my eyebrows to perfection using Kohl Pencil, so that I wasn’t bullied by the kids in school for being a freak who looked surprised all the time.  During the rainy days, I always came back home with melting eyebrows and a smudged black face. Then came College and the concept of threading the eyebrows. A few strands removed here, a few strands removed there and a bit of makeup and voila, I looked normal again. But I will never forgive my mother.

 

YAKKU THE CULPRIT!!

My mother used to also love Yakku from the Hindi serial called Chandrakanta. Hell! Don’t ask me who Yakku was. I will kill you again you infidel!! She liked him so much that she decided to remove the ‘Y’ and name her Spock eyebrowed baby as ‘AKKU’. Mind you, Yakku was also famous for his thick bushy eyebrows. I guess my mother had a thing for weird eyebrows and I suffered the consequences. AKKU THE SPOCK CHILD! I will never forgive my mother.

But my father tells me to count my blessings and he is absolutely right. Thank God, my mother did not imagine herself to be Chewbacca from Star Wars. Don’t ask me who Chewbacca is, I will kill you yet one more time you infidel!!!  So now that I am not a hairy dog, I think I will forgive my mother. 

COZ AKKU IS LUCKY YO!!

 P.S- Akku has joined twitter. You can get your regular dose of her craziness HERE. She is getting bored talking to the wall.