Friday 25 July 2014

THE INNOCENCE OF A CHILD...


No I am not a mother. Neither am I Sridevi from English Vinglish walking down the streets of New York, talking in crude Hindi to a total French hotness about how children are anything but innocent. Actually the only experience I hold regarding children is the fact that I was once a child and also the added liability of living with an 8 year cousin who sees me as a fluffy punching bag. So I think I can talk about innocence.

Innocence is said to be a lack of guile or corruption and Lata Mangeshkar while singing ‘Bacche man ke sacche’ promoted this very thought of purity in a child.  What a big dry joke. I don’t remember being innocent as a child. Maybe I was innocent as an infant or a toddler but that is basically because of the lack of any other option. You cannot cook up an evil master plan when you mother is feeding you Cerelac or when your skull is yet to develop fully. But once I was done with kindergarten, I knew exactly what is to be done to make things work my way. I was a child with evil intentions and this is precisely why my heart doesn’t melt easily when it comes to children.

In my continuing space sharing with my 8 yr old cousin, I have noticed how much she knows about her parent’s emotional quotient with regard to her. To escape tuition which was scheduled at 5 pm, she called up her mother at noon from school and told her how painfully she was battling a stomach ache. Her mother who was in another district, thus unable to drive to her rescue, asked her to rest in the sick room and take the mini-van back home after school. On reaching home at 2 pm, she took over the television and complained of chest pain to my grandmother who made her ailing granddaughter some soupy noodles. By 4 pm she had headache and once it was well past 5, she was attempting hula-hoop while watching Chotta Bheem. They say love makes you fall for every silly trick and this is exactly what was happening. How a kid was able to execute a plan so full of flaws and yet get away with it. Remember, she did not even use the lethal weapon, commonly known as the ‘Fake Crying’. She can articulate emotions even better than Nicholas Spark to escape a scolding. The art of deception is mastered by a child.

I remember the last time I went to a supermarket. I was buying some cereal and in came this cute looking child with his mother. While his mother was filling up her shopping cart, the kid ran to me and started punching my leg. I looked down at the 3 feat tall Mike Tyson who gifted me yet another punch. I yelped and caught hold of his closed fist in an attempt to stop him from landing another blow. He looked at me, grinned and then screamed at a note that would put any Opera singer to shame. I don’t remember what happened next, but let’s just say that the entire supermarket now thinks that I am a child abuser.

Where was I? Yes, the innocence of a child. It is funny how we see ignorance as innocence. Children are ignorant. Ignorant of politics, religion, sex, social taboos and such man made factors. Ignorant of stress, competition and practicality. It is precisely this ignorance that is mistaken as innocence. Why else do you have to teach a child not to hit another person, steal, lie or create a ruckus? Innocence is taught, not gifted.

Now don’t tell me that the examples I mentioned were of exceptionally talented evil kids, because they are not. Ok, may be the supermarket boxer was, but that is not the point. The point is to point out one child who doesn't manipulate his/her family.

Actually, if you think about it, parents are innocent.



P.S- I love kids. I really do. Sacchi!


97 comments:

  1. So you got away pretty cheap for the supposed child abuse Red! Yes some innocent brats can make the older people fret and sweat in an unimaginable manner:)

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  2. Your post has made me think, I was of the opinion that kids are epitome of innocence :-/ But on thinking, I wonder where did kids learn all these tactics? I would safely say I was an innocent kid until I was in 5th grade, my bro wasn't.

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    1. I was never innocent. My bro was. Thanks for reading Keirthana!

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  3. Hahaha I hear you gal I hear you ... I am totally sacred of kids... I stay far far away from the 10 yr old group. I might even look like a sheep in comparison to the year-4 year-5 kids here :P such smarty pants!!

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    1. ya man..I am more naive than these kids. I tell you!

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  4. Haha...had to laugh at the little kid punching you. So not acceptable though!

    Here's the thing: all kids will try different behaviours --- they haven't yet developed morally at 4 to6 years and will try their luck to see what they can get away with. After that, it's what adults let them do that will explain any future 'manipulative' behaviour. So for instance, a child who has been allowed to get away with punching someone, will continue to do it. A child who has been allowed to get away with lying, stealing etc, will continue to do it. Very few people are born evil. We do learn ways to behave depending on how the environment and primary figures respond to our behaviours.

    Apologies for going all developmental psych on you! And I don't judge you for liking or not liking kids. I'm ok with them as long as I can give them back to their parents! Wouldn't want one of my own. :P

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    1. You are spot on!!! Kids will try and it is the parents who should set them straight. Sadly they dont.
      hahah I do want kids though. Maybe in some supremely distant future.

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    2. The comment by Sanch was exactly what I wanted to say except that mine would be based on examples of the string of cousins that trot the house at their will. But, Sanch has put it more eloquently :)

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  5. I just got to know that my 7 year old niece's classmate hit their teacher...frankly parents are to blame to a large extent to the way kids that young behave... if they dont get a control on them early on they will easily get out of hand when older... but the silver lining is that there are still kids around who arent that bad.. so basically you get them in all types :)

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    1. Maybe you are right..Actually you are. I am just unlucky to never come across innocent ones!!
      Thank you for reading!

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  6. lol...
    if i mother ever had to read this post, she would probably end up facilitating you....:P :P :P
    (Given that i was among the so called innocent children..) (wink wink)

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    1. haha wink back at you babe!!!
      I wasnt the innocent one!!

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  7. ha ha. I love the last line. "Kids are not innocent. Parents are". True Red! Kids are mean....but what to do except love them chubby cheeks? <3

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    1. Its only because of those chubby cheeks! Sigh!!!!

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  8. Kids are cute and all. As long as they belong to someone else :D And yes, innocence seems to be long lost nowadays!

    They are monsters trapped in cuddly packages.

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    1. HAHHAAH your comment made me smile. Thanks Athira!!!

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  9. I know, right? "It is funny how we see ignorance as innocence. Children are ignorant." This pretty much summed it up. Many times it's the parents that are to be blamed. Instead of correcting them, they say it is cute or brush it off saying they are just kids. Once there was this kid in our neighborhood who used to spit on people. And another kid used to call others(elders) in ek vachan, like vaada, poda, vaadi, podi. And his mom used laugh when he used such language. Once he did that to mom. I caught hold of his arm and didn't let go until he said 'sorry'. Yes, his mom was present.

    My dad used to put it very beautifully. Children are like saplings. They usually plant a stick beside the sapling and bind it to the stick. You know, so that the sapling grows straight. Orelse it will be difficult to straigten it after it grows. It's a crude analogy, but very relatable nonetheless. Good one, Red. :-)

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    1. you did tht before his mom?DAMN!! Gutsy you!!!!!
      and your dad is to the point. WOW!!!

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  10. I hear you! Kids and innocent? I have a bitter experience in a picnic last weekend when a 4 yr old warmed up to me, going so adorable and cute; and I was so happy, I was playing with her but then turns out she was only trying to get me buy her a Popsicle because her parents refused! And then when she got it, she simply started to ignore me!!!! :/

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    1. HAHAHAHAAHAHAH I m sorry but hahhahahahaha..I am laughing because I am glad that I am not the only one who was ditched. :D

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  11. hehee i too just hate kids :p they drive me crazy!!! i agree that ignorance is mistaken and innocence. just because of the lack of knowledge of wordly matters they r thought of as innocent but i havta disAGREE with u when u say that innocence is taught, u kinda oppose ur self when u say that

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    1. how do I oppose myself? Thank u for reading! :D

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  12. Oh I so know what you mean and I agree, kids are so NOT innocent.
    It's the *cute face* which lets them get away, but they know exactly what they want.

    And I love kids too :P

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  13. wow...this reminds me all of the stupid things I would do to skip school :p
    I will share one. I would sit with closed eyes in sunlight and run swiftly to my mom and ask her to touch my forehead...She would get worried, as all mothers do and let me stay at home :p

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    1. hahahaha I can imagine you doing that. Let me pinch ur cheeks now!!

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  14. Good post. Enjoyed reading. Kids are not innocent. Also, they lie a lot.

    They are ignorant of sex? Thanks to internet and television, they know more about it.

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    1. oh now even that is out of the list. Damn!
      Thnks for reading!

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  15. Reminds me of how my husband got bullied at the beach by a bunch of 10 year olds the other day. The thing is "kids are innocent" is an overrated statement.

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    1. Oh ahahaha ..I am sorry! Poor your man!!
      These kids I tell you!

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  16. Hehehehehe... poor you Red! And well if we were all so innocent our childhood would never be so much fun right? :-P Loved this post :-D

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  17. Once my 7 years old niece slapped her mother because she didn't wake her up for school. Yes the parents are more innocent than the kids :|

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    1. whaaaaaaaaaaaat? What did her mother do.:O

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  18. agree wholeheartedly Red! kids (yea..yea, we too!) are way too "chalu" than parents can imagine....! with two little boys at home, this mummy can vouch for that!

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    1. hahahahaha how cute of you to agree. Mommy is having a hell of a time?

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  19. RED Handed, you make me smile..yeah we were not innocent as kids..how I faked illness for not going for tuition and school, spreading havoc in the house. I loove kids but yeah, they have a devil streak:)

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    1. hahaha we all have done that no? and that is why I say we were never innocent.

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  20. Oh yes.. time changes. Probably, Lata Mangeshkar didn't have an idea at that time about what a master mind these kids are.. I support you in this. Kids have become evil. But to a large extent they inherit their evil quotient from their parents. I have also some great kids. And just as you do, I love them. :)

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    1. thank you for reading Namrata. Kids become what their parents make them into.

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  21. * I have also seen
    P.S I don't have kids. :p

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  22. I was a very manipulative kid myself! Actually, I am less manipulative now. :P

    I agree that parents are rather innocent than the kids! :)

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  23. Bwahahaha :P I can't believe she planned that elaborate a drama :D
    But yes, parents seem to be the innocent ones these days, mine for sure because God knows Amma believes everything that I say....

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  24. hahaha.. may be that little kid thought you a punching bag :P :P

    I don't think parents are innocent it's just that their children are a step further :D :D Lovely post :)

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  25. Perhaps that is why they gave them an apt euphemism, 'children', Chilled-Ran, They're totally chilled about hitting you and running away clean :D

    This isn't the first time that your child-love is showing up, is it?

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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    1. hahah your comment made me laugh....
      and no it isnt :P
      Thanks for reading!

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  26. Trust me, I get really wary around children just because of the kind of instance that happened with you in the Supermarket.

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  27. Hahhahha... this has to be the best way to perceive: Kids are ignorant, not innocent!

    That little Mike Tyson.. dude, he was so cunning and of course, your 8 yr old cousin too. baaaapre!!! xD

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    1. sigh..I wont say I was innocent. I used to keep onions in my armpit because someone told me that it will bring fever. I did that to escape unit test!

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    2. bwahahahhahahhahahaahha.. dude!!! you are the cutest lawyer I will ever know.

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  28. You have such a naughty cousin. I did my tricks too, simple ordinary ones like pretending to fall sick so that I could skip school. But i rather grew up to quick as I was trained to be independent and responsible at a very young age. So every time I plotted something evil, i'd feel bad for breaching the values mom had taught me! Yikes.

    Yes, I wish i was carefree too and have an innocence of a child. Not knowing anything, just them and their own little world. Nice reading your entries again. Finally, I'm on another break after 6 months! Just got the chance to come on blogger. Keep writing, cause you're too good at it! :)

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    1. ah guilt is the best weapon.
      and enjoy the break babe!!!
      Thanks a ton!

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  29. Ha Ha :) This is such a different point of view and I do agree .. Kids can manipulate really well :)

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  30. Gahahaha!
    Now, this post actually affirmed my thoughts. Till some five years back I used to adore kids. I still do, but only from distance. It's too hard to come across a well behaved quiet kid :/ The way they act when I am around, makes me feel like I am some devil aunt or 'didi'...Grrrr. Now, I choose to stay away. And yes, I also make sure mum doesn't give away my chocolates to them :P

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    1. hahaha how cute! I keep the chocolates hidden.
      If they cant share with me why shud I share too.

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  31. Completely completely agree with you. Hahaha. And when one points out how kids manipulate others for what they want - people's reaction is "oh he is just a kid" which is what gets my goat. Kids get away with shit very easily, just coz they are kids!

    This post reminds me of a funny one liner I had heard somewhere- people talk about leaving behind a good world for the kids, what about leaving behind good kids for the world? :P

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    1. best comment ever!!!!!!!
      That one liner was spot on!

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  32. Oh yes!!!! I have seen these little tykes manipulate so well! I had such an encounter with a 7 year old who knew how to feign "fake cry" with tears and all. I was so amused that I was not even mad.

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  33. That is so true... they ARE little vampires...

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  34. Ah I find kids super annoying. You let the Mike Tyson go? I would have given his mother a mouthful before letting him go. You know the fault lies with the parents. They give in too quick. They find their kids cute when they are punching up someone or tearing something. That's the problem.

    None are innocent.

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    1. it is the parents faults indeed..and yes I let him go. :( I was shocked!!

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  35. Omg .,. You are spot on .. so true .. Loved reading it ..

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  36. Kids are innocent is perhaps the greatest of all myths :p

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  37. You are so innocent.
    :D

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  38. Whoa! I can relate to this post so well :D I have been at the receiving end all the time, pinching, nudging, biting, punching, stamping, some kids are so good at these but love'em nonetheless :S

    You post makes so much sense, cool! :)

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    1. hehehe they come in cute packages and we love them.
      Thanks for reading!

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  39. Oh kids are just lil angels...sent by Satan to trouble us without anyone noticing. They have tricks, I tell you!!!!

    So. Totally. Agree!

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  40. If you think kids are innocent, I'll just call you naive :D They are kind of cuddly and cute and that is often mistaken for innocence!

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  41. Children are in no way innocent! They are cute and adorable, but also extremely manipulative. Loved this post, Red - especially the Nicholas Sparks/Mike Tyson references. :D
    By the way, I 'tagged' you in my '50 Things About Me' post on the blog. Check it out if you're free. :)

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    1. haha I am glad you like it babe!
      Read you post...how awesome. Thanks for tagging :D

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  42. Which is why I never tire of telling my daughter - may you have a daughter just like mine :D

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  43. Oh yes, I will get my revenge when my children have kids! *evil laughter* To be objective, they have their good moments else we would all throw out our kids :).

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    1. talking from experience indeed!!
      hehehe how cute! Thankss for reading!

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  44. Haha I know right! You should see how few Indian kids behave in Norway. Their parents are worried to harass them and be in prison and so parents are totally taken over by kids. Innocence.. of parents!! :D

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  45. haha how come I read that piece of comic strip.
    He makes so much sense.
    Thanks for reading!!

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  46. True Red :) Kids are very smart these days. What innocence can we expect from the ones who handle smartphones better than their parents!
    Kids know so many tricks! Beware of their astra-shastra :) Ironically, they get all the support!
    Terrible that people "thought" you are child-abuser...

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    1. exactly!!Support is their main weapon.
      Thanks for reading :D

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  47. Thank you for shattering this myth! :D

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  48. My sister is a PhD in child psychology and works as a counselor. Her 3 year old makes her cry, literally. Then we all console her and reminds her of her PhD ! Yeah, talk about innocence!!

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  49. I'm scared of kids...when kids come visiting I'm petrified at the thought of dealing with them! None of the kids are innocent , atleast not any of this day and age!!

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  50. Kids are awesome, lovable, cute and innocent only till they are 3. After that, they become monsters!!! I was a very well behaved kid though. But I don't know many who are like me. I hate their tantrums and how parents become victim of their demands.
    P.S. I love kids too :p

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  51. Lolzz...
    Double likes for the first paragraph...
    And nods for your post script!!!

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Spit It Out I Say !!!