WHEN ENGLISH CAN KILL

 

I have been coming across some brutal accent tragedies. The way certain things are pronounced is really killing my brain cells! The incorrect pronunciation creates so many hubbubs, yet it’s so hard to control the tummy tickling it gifts me sometimes. Here are the some pronunciations which have made me FOMFCLATGM (Fall Of My Frigging Chair Laughing And Try to Gag Myself)

Shatter Line One- I have never tried CHUM PUG NEE”

           I was flabbergasted! When your friend whom you are secretly jealous of tells you that she hasn’t ever tried this strange sounding thing, you get stuck in a nerve crunching dilemma. How can you tell her that forget trying it, you haven’t even heard of this beauty of a thing. But I gathered the courage and told her that I haven’t too. Moments later she points at an image in the Magazine she had been reading and it struck me. She was all this while talking about CHAMPAIGNE. I just wanted to die and attain nirvana!

Shatter Line Two- CHAAV RUU LAATE

          I really thought it might be some Latin phrase like Carpe Diem! I Googled it but couldn’t find out the true meaning. Seemed to me like it had some real deep meaning to it. I used Google translator and tried Latin, Greek, French, Spanish but no rescue came! Finally I gave up and went to the guy who had spoken those magical words. The line was ‘‘He has a CHAAV RUU LAAATE’’. On further questioning he brought out a  catalogue and pointed to the main page header ‘CHEVROLET’. *Hard face slap*

Shatter Line Three- PAAND

         This was the winner! How can someone mispronounce certain simple words? Is their tongue having issues? I went to Allen-Solly outlet the other day and asked for some black trousers and the female replied, “You want PAAND?”. I was like “No just the trousers! Is PAAND a new trend? Like Jeggings?”. “ No Madam, you want black PAAND?”. “Fine, show it to me”. She disappears only to arrive a minute later with some black PANTS! Hell might be so entertaining!!!! Don’t even ask what a simple Panty can be pronounced as. Kungfu Panda’s younger sister, PANDY!

  

PS- You would have figured out by now that my thought accentuating areas of the brain are on strike. Better post next time!

Image Courtesy- elingles.co.cc