Friday, 5 August 2011

CAUGHT RED HANDED

Welcome to the Friday episode of the infamous "Caught Red Handed" news bulletin. Our special correspondent Miss Anuglyhead, has given us five breaking news which will shake the starry world of celebs and total fakeness. Without further adieu we direct you to our special correspondent. Miss Anuglyhead, the show is all yours now.

Ladies and Gentlemen, today I Miss.Anuglyhead is proud to bring to your notice five devastatingly tragicomic news from the world of Glam and Shame. If you do not believe me or the sources or the images, then kindly revert back to us with your own hypothesis, to which we may or may not serve you with an explanation.

Our top news for today is that BEYONCE IS COLORBLIND. Did anyone watch the singing sensation perform at the Macy's 4th of July Fireworks? The concert took place on Liberty Island and looked more spectacular against the backdrop of the Statue of Liberty. Beyonce went all Patriotic by performing ' GOD BLESS THE USA'  in front of a gigantic crowd. What caught my eyes was her attire for the concert. She wore a strapless floor length black gown and red and white necklace for her 2 song performance. Was she going for a funeral or the Fourth of July? And are the colors of the American flag RED, WHITE and BLACK? No Beyonce Darling, it is RED, WHITE, and BLUE. There is only one reasonable explanation for this happening and that is the poor lady is COLORBLIND.


The next breaking news is that PARIS HILTON WANTS TO BE THE PRESIDENT OF USA. The musical disaster is planning to run for the post of President. She is deeply unsatisfied with the state of the STATUE OF LIBERTY and promises her voters that she will make the Statue go all PINK and directs its makers to give it a BOOB JOB. But she lost the sentiments of many prospective voters, after she used the American Flag to wipe off the poop of her CHIHUAHUA.


Next up, BRITNEY SPEARS SUES A 12YR OLD KID for calling her a 'bad rash who refuses to go away'. In his defense the kid made the Hon'ble Judge hear the back to blond's not so new album ' HOLD IT AGAINST ME' after which the Judge decided that Miss Britney has to buy the kid a PS3. He also directed her to take dance and publicity stunt lessons from LADY GAGA.


LADY GAGA IS A SCIENTIST. In an interview with the fame monster, we asked her the meaning of the first few lines of her track 'BAD ROMANCE'. We questioned if it was some sort of an encryption or a code which only she could break. Miss GAGA took off her shades, looked left and right and whispered that she was a scientist, and had recently found out the perfect equation for a really bad romance. She wanted the world to have a piece of her discovery and that is why the song.  
(RA) 2 + (AH) 3 + ROMA (1+MA) + (GA) 2 OOH (LA) 2 = BAD ROMANCE
Rumour has it that this equation has been copied by GAGA, and originally belongs to the mastermind ALBERT EINSTEIN, who is no longer alive to bring a claim against the infringement. 


Hot from our ASIAN desk, recent reports that HIMESH RESHAMIYA IS INTO BESTIALITY, has been confirmed. The singer who made us think 'What is under that cap?' has been under great emotional stress lately. My secret reporter has just brought in that the love of his life who happens to be a HIMALAYAN WOLF, just dumped him after a life long relationship, a strong reason as to why we all are not getting enough of his ' OWWWWWWS'. Our deepest condolences to the howler.  
                                                                
That is all for today. Great Friday and take care.

 
P.S- I HOPE NOONE SUES ME. I am just bored beyond recognition. Also never ever try teaching your Grandparents how to send and receive SMS and never ever tell them about YOUTUBE. You have been warned !! Also i am too lazy to give the links of these images. Google is GOD!

Links referred


36 comments:

  1. Hahaha... loved the post n the pics :)

    Superb idea, Red!!! :)

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  2. LOL... This was hilarious! :D Beyonce being colorblind sweeped it all!! Great reporting Miss Anuglyhead!! :D

    Keep it up up up!!

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  3. lol


    I didnt knew people can be so innovative when they r bored...
    sending and receiving sms agreed completely ;)

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  4. What an initiative 'Red-Handed'... And the fact that it fits perfectly with your blog image.. :) So, we can expect a weekly round-up of the top 5 breaking news, right??

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  5. @R-A-J- Hey thanks for being the first to read. :D
    @MI- Heh thankyou!
    @Chakoli- Boredome makes me think crazy. Sometimes its good. Heh.
    @Binu- Hah thnks for the idea... Letsee if i think crazy again. Then sure!

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  6. *phew*
    I thought only I was imagining such developments about Britney, Himesh and Beyonce. Glad to read I have a support.
    IF Hilton Somehow managed to buy votes for PM, her first announcement should be- Anyone without Dior, Vuitton or Gucci accessories and bags will be counted Below Poverty Line and senators weighing above 40 are FIRED.
    Gaga, her intelligence is a waste for humanity !!

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  7. Hahahahahaha.. Wow, really loved it :D
    Such amazing stuff :)) Hahahaha..
    Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep blogging! :)
    XoXo

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  8. Imagining the statue of Liberty in pink with a D cup had me all cracked up.

    This was one ROFL worthy post...loved the spoof.

    Way to go Red Handed!!!

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  9. ROFL.. nice one. made my day!!

    http://achu89.blogspot.com/

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  10. @Prateek- Hahaah then if thts the case, only she will be thr and no senate. I loved the BPL thing u stated. Y dint i think tht way?
    @Purba- Hey thankyou! Pink statue of liberty is itself so ghastly! D cup...hahahah
    @Blahblaholic- Hey sweet f u. Thankyou
    @Centreshocker- Heh thanks!

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  11. Hahaha this was fun. Loved the Lady Gaga bit the best :D

    You rock girl!

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  12. Hahaha. I could die laughing.
    1st welcome back. I just opened ur site in no hope you would have written you said 6th. But then no complaints.

    Specially loved the beyonce and lady gaga one.
    Giving the statue a boob job. Hahahaah.

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  13. Tinkerbell(Hilton's dog) is really pissed off at you now as you didn't mention that she was the mastermind behind Hilton's move.

    Run for you life as she has started the chase for you. Best of luck! :P

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  14. The Himmesss bit was indeed a 'HOWLER'.

    I`m surprised you left out Rakhi Sawant's antics on this bulletin and picked on poor old Himmesss. Especially after she declared this week that she was interested in marrying Baba Ramdev.

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  15. hehehehhehe...why dont u try joining india TV.super talent you have.will need a little grooming though,to match the set standards.nice post

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  16. haha, you spent a great deal of research with this post :)))

    Paris Hilton is seriously soo pink and GAga makes me gag sometimes :D:D

    I like your humor :D

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  17. Haha...Made my Friday :)

    Fantastic

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  18. hahahaha lady gaga THE SCIENTIST !!! OMG this was hilarious

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  19. ROTFL, awesome.
    Pink whitehouse? PINK?! You have GOT to be kidding me.

    And btw, busy much?:(

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  20. HAHAHAHA. Cant stop laughing, man.
    Awesome post, you. ESPECIALLY THE LAST ONE. :D

    XX

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  21. @Soumya-hey me happy u loved it.
    @Nia- anything for u babes. U asked for it u got it. Okie i feel like a guy now. Heeh thanks for reading.
    @alchemist- tinkerbell is dead. I killed him/her. Paris hilton carries a stuffed version f him. She is too obsessed with herself to notice. Heeh
    @Atrocious Scribblings- Everyone is writing about Rakhi Baba. Himeeees was left out. And he is already so depressed. Heh
    @manian.hunter- hahaha grooming in wht manner btw?
    @serendipity- heh she makes me gag too ..thanks for readin :D
    @kunnu- that made me smile. Thanktou!
    @Mishi- heeeeh thanks hun!
    @priyanka- heeh she did want pink house btw. Yeh kinda busy. Like today i gotta watch a play 'the blue mug'. Veeery busy. Heh.
    @paolomi- Hey thanks Polo. God knws why i called u tht. Sounds cool!

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  22. LOL!!!
    As good as always!! Loved this one especially the Beyonce is colorblind theory! :D

    Also, please do let us know the consequences of whatever you tried to teach your grandparents ;-)

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  23. Reporter RED, We wish that you get a worldwide Broadcast on TV :D :D This was an Amazing Post!! Really I wonder, How you say you have an Ugly Head? I think you have an Evil head :P :D :D

    PS: I love you. :D :*

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  24. LOL...I'm thinking what will be Paris Hilton's election manifesto???? Good one...:)

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  25. hehehe that was hilarious! Good one :)

    Cheers!
    ....Here I Am!

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  26. hMM....Oh Google ji...help...

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  27. LOL, R.H ! Paris Hilton won me over !!!

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  28. omg! I wish v could have such news reports every week or maybe everyday? :P

    loved each one of em...good job :D


    sarah

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  29. This time I am late here :(

    Looking forward to hear more news from Miss Anuglyhead. That was spicy!!

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  30. @Akansha- The result of teaching my grandparents how to send and receive sms...ahem!! he still doesnt hav a clue about it.Hey thanks for reading :D
    @MSM-Evil head!!! Jeaaaaaaah now I LOVE YOU TOO. I dont need to thank you...do i? :)
    @Saru Singhal- Free tummy reduction for the voters???
    @Vijay Menon- Heh thankyou!
    @Anulal- Google is Rajnikant in disguise.
    @Rohit- She is awesome..heh
    @subtlescribbler-Thankyou sarah :)
    @Cindrella- I dont mind if ur late..atleast u came *does bollywood style crying face*
    @Harish- hey a comment after a long time...felt good :)

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  31. Loved the post :) though i read last :(

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  32. I thought I commented on this. HILARIOUS!!! :D

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  33. hahaha...the one on 'lady gaga' had me in splits...but what really took the cake was the 'hiumesh reshamiya' bit of news..so totally believable, i tellya! ;p

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  34. hilarious!! Wonder how we never saw the uncanny resemblence to the wolf before!! :-D !

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  35. @Bharati- Heh better late than never. Thanks :D
    @Srinidhi- Good to know you came back :D
    @Pri- who says that these news are fake :P..thanks you sooo much
    @Nirvana- Oooooh they resemble a lot....thanks for commenting :D

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