The Case of the Annoying Tenant and the Missing Tree.

We are the epitome of what law abiding citizens should be. In India the term ‘law abiding citizen’ has a realistic definition to it. According to this definition, a law abiding citizen in India is that person who breaks the law given under the code and yet gets away with it by passing a bundle or two of notes to the concerned authority. My family comes under this category of Law abiding citizens.

Our ancestral home which we were forced to sell in lieu of a family feud 2 yrs back, had a huge Eucalyptus tree right in front of it. It was a majestic tree which grew beyond all measures and sizes, to the extent of covering up our entire house with its thick branches and leaves. Sometimes these thick branches would break and fall on the terrace and cause minor cracks on the roof along with water tank breakage. 

We had given the top floor of our home for rent to a tenant who stayed there with his wife. He was a genuine miser who even though could afford to build a house of his own, believed in saving up the money by staying as a tenant on our property. To top it all up, this man was not only a miser, but also the most lethargic man alive on the face of the Earth. Being a miser and also a chronic lazy bum is a really bad combination. 

He hired a chauffeur to drive him and his wife around whenever needed, in his OMNI VAN and also used to tip the poor guy peanuts for cleaning the pathetic van ones a week. I got up early one day with the intention of making my Father proud by taking an early bath and visiting the temple nearby. I got up, did the morning ritual of brushing followed by bladder and bowel relief, took a bath and got ready to give the good Lord a visit. As I stepped out of my home, the first thing I saw made me change my plans and go laugh myself to death. 

The poor lean driver was cleaning the OMNI in a very religious manner by using a tiny red cloth. He bent down to dip the cloth in a soapy solution and got back up presenting before the world the little wonder in his hand. He was holding a Red Underwear with a big hole right on its crotch area. I couldn’t help but ask….

Me- Ye aap kya kar rahe hain?!!

Driver- Dho raha hoon jee van!

Me- Woh toh dikh raha hai, par ye laal kapda kya hai?

Driver- Malik ka laal phata hua Kaccha hai. 

I ran back inside the home and dug my face on my mother’s lap as I laughed half my life out. My father on the other hand, was already bugged with the looser upstairs since he had turned our property into something which looked like a war zone. He marched upstairs and ordered the chaddiman and his chaddiwoman to move out of our property after a period of one month, which they could utilize to find a new place. 

Monsoon approached and made our peaceful existence a problem. Because of the heavy rains, many of the branches of the Eucalyptus tree broke and fell on the terrace crashing the railing down. My Father decided to take the tree down. Some people came, chopped off the tree and took it away. For the first time in 15 years, we saw sunlight the way we should have. I don’t know what they did with the wood. Nor did I care. 

But like I have said before, fate is a jealous bitch of the highest order. Some Police officials visited our home and enquired about the missing tree. My father told him that it was our property because it was in the land which was owned by us and decided to chop it down when it became a nuisance. The officials informed us that someone had lodged a complaint that a majestic Eucalyptus tree had been chopped off without getting the needed permission from the local authorities. This could result in my Dad tasting the Jail food.

But you know these poor underpaid policemen and officials. You really cannot blame them for accepting a note or two in exchange of getting your work done in a speedy manner. I am happy corruption exists because otherwise the policemen wouldn’t have accepted the few green papers my Dad gave them and nor would they have taken the complaint off the register. 

But if you know me well, you would know that I cannot live with the term ‘Curiosity’ lingering in my mind. I badly wanted to know who the man who lodged the complaint was. Sources told me that it was the Chaddiman. Some people and their ways!!!

P.S- I am going through writer's block and hence jut published one of the draft posts. Let me just assume that you all actually give a hoot about my life and that is why you read this post. 

P.P.S- Now is not a good time to ask you parents for money. Valentines day is fast approaching and parents have turned into detectives. So save up!

P.P.P.S- Blogging has become just so boring. This place is dead too!