Showing posts with label workout. Show all posts
Showing posts with label workout. Show all posts

Tuesday, 8 November 2011

THE WORKOUT TRAGEDY



Ladies and Gentlemen! Yes finally it happened. The birds have started to fly upside down I guess and the Sun will soon start rising from the west. Now anything is possible and by anything I mean every damn thing.

Red Handed has finally stepped inside a gym for the first time in her life and the credits goes to her sheer willpower and want for the perfect body. Fine A-holes! It was because my Father dragged me to the gym because my Mother was continuously pressuring the poor man to do so. The gym package is for 1 and a half months since I am at home only for that much time and the package includes normal gym workout, cardio, aerobics, power yoga, personal trainer, steam bath, spa, and a dietician. Yes my Family wants me slim and extra trim!
 
I was going to throw one of my legendary temper tantrums but the personal trainer walked in and my jaw got displaced because it really touched the good Mother Earth. He is the definition of the word S-E-X-Y. Height above 6, Brad Pitt from Troy body, Chocolate colour, an eyebrow piercing and a dazzling white smile to go with the whole poem of a man. I somehow managed my evident mouth watching since my father was present, who now was interviewing him. The voice!!! What a voice!! A husky sexy voice he had that can melt your soul and my jaw started its nonsense again. 

My Dad left and I was left with my sexy hulk. I pushed myself beyond my limits and did not show a tinge of fatigue even after spending 15 min on a machine which I say should be banned for the face of Earth. I did everything he asked me to do and I did not even drink water, just to show my strength. I even touched my toe without bending my knees just to hear a ‘VERY GOOD’ and unlike my usual cursing spree I did not even say a delicate FUCK. The only thing that was in my mind was ‘He is Hot!’
   
But to my greatest sorrow the Man did not even look at me with a slightest look of admiration. He did not even appreciate my dedication. I felt like a dog that had just run miles to get back his Masters Golf ball and on return was gifted with absolute NOTHING. I was devastated and I was shattered. The man was more interested in a fat man who was running beside me in the treadmill. He even left me unattended as I ran for 15 min straight and he kept himself engaged by chitchatting with the Fat pig. I felt neglected and damaged beyond redemption.

My session got over and I went to the manager lady to get my diet plan and she asked if I was happy with my Trainer. I said that I was very much impressed by his Greek God sexy body dedication towards his work and that’s when the lady said something which made me feel like a 1000kg boulder had just fallen on my chest. 

She said “He is our best trainer and like you said totally dedicated to his work. You are the first female he has been assigned to because he goes only for Men. He is Gay you see’’ 
  
FACEPALM would be an understatement. Now because I paid the whole package money I am stuck with this fairy for more than a month. Why God why!! He was even a Malayalee!
  
P.S-Today was Day 2 and my morning session is over. I cannot feel my legs and I prefer crawling rather than walking. I can’t even sit properly on the western toilet to pee. The worst part is, the Satan with his smile which shows his teeth like snakes bare fangs awaits me for my evening session. I will soon be DEAD. 

P.P.S- I had the honour to write a guest post on TheGirlAtFirstAvenue’s blog. Her blog is sheer awesomeness and if don’t already follow her blog, you should definitely read it out! U can read my guest post HERE.
   
P.P.P.S- For the lovers of Electronic Dance Music, I got something sexy for you. Check this remix out.  LISTEN HERE.