MAKE HIM DUMP YOU

It’s common these days to get into a relationship and then spend all your time regretting it. Dumping someone especially a guy isn’t always easy. Many guys resort to suicide threat, abuses or even hardcore methods. Some might even confront your family or atleast threaten to. So here I illustrate five direct and easy methods whereby the boyfriend will happily run away and never again will you have to heave a sigh and think “Was I drunk when I got into this relationship?”

How to make your stupid but prospective murderer boyfriend dump you-

1)      Make the Over-Possessive bitch come out- Everyone appreciates a bit of possessiveness. But over- possessiveness? Act over possessive. Tell him you hate him meeting his friends. Call him at odd times like when he is in the movies with his friends or the club having a drink with his gang and tell him how you hate it. Force him to be with you rather than his friends. Be possessive and jealous about him linked to everything you can possibly think of. Stop him from tweeting, facebooking. If he doesn’t, keep nagging him till he is tired of you. If he does stop it, it’s a sign that he will soon miss his friends and his social networks and blame you and finally dump you.

2)      Show no interest in his talks- Well men love women who would sit, listen to all his bragging and his life nonsense and nod her head like a dog. Start bringing random topics in between his serious conversations. Like when he is telling you how his day was, start telling him why you love your blue nail polish. Almost 80% of divorces happen because there is no proper communication between the spouses. So it effectively works here too. Better still stop asking him anything.

3)      Make fun of his dreams and Capability- Nothing like a spit on ones self pride and self esteem. If he aspires to buy himself a ROLLS ROYCE PHANTOM by the time he is 35, laugh loudly and tell him how naive he is and how you can bet your life he wont be able to. Tell him how his other friends are so much better than him and that his vision of life is medieval.  Blame him for his stagnant position on the ladder to success.

4)      Compare him to your ex- Continuously poke him with statements about your ex. How you wish he and you had worked out and how happy you would have been. Tell him how your ex’s stubble felt on your cheeks and how much better that felt when compared to his. Saying all this in an innocent manner really confuses the man who dumps you eventually because again his possessiveness and self esteem could not stand your bullshit.

5)      Flirt with his friends- This is one of my favorites. When he takes you out to meet his friends or whenever there is any situation where you have the presence of his closest friends, show the flirt in you. Flutter some eyelashes evidently to his friend. For this purpose I suggest you choose the guy your boyfriend admits is the most attractive. Coyly smile, play with your hair, pout your lips, laugh at all the lame jokes his friend makes. Make your flirting evident. Ones the boygang has caught hold of your boyfriend alone, there will be a huge discussion and comments on how flirty you are. No guy wants a woman who flirts with anyone and especially his friends. Continue this flirting even after being warned. Act innocent. He will dump you soon!!

P.S-This is just an individual opinion. Don’t bite me if you got insulted or offended (so immature that will be. Pfft!). Also the above mentioned ways will not only drive your boyfriend away but also will take away the chances of friendship or WE-WILL-BE-IN TOUCH relation. Don’t blame me later. I warned you.

P.S.S- This opinion should not be inferred in such a way as to be thought that I have done this with someone or I intend to do it. I certainly don’t!! 

Photo Courtesy- Google Images. Too lazy to go find the real source! No infringement intended. Also the picture shows a girl dumping a guy. Well that's all i could get!

*Laughs like a Hyena*