Wednesday, 23 November 2011

How to Win an argument with a Woman??


I am giving away the most life changing solution here. As much as I am scared of being banished from the kingdom of muliebrity, I will still take my chances here. Men all around the globe have been researching on this topic and you can find numerous videos on youtube by the sterner sex trying to crack this question. Below you will find a step wise guide to ultimately defeating your female in a battle of arguments.

STEP 1- Find the Hidden meaning. When your woman starts to yell about the garbage can not being emptied by you the previous night, it is definitely not the only thing she is yelling about. Take a second to scan your one week history, because your woman is yelling at you for more reasons than just a garbage can. It could be something as random as the 2 second look you gave to another woman while dining with your girl.

STEP 2- Don’t let her stray from the point. Now that you know that there is a hidden agenda behind her GARBAGE CAN story, try to restrict her arguments to just the complaint that the words which came out of her mouth reflected. A woman is like WIKIPEDIA, she has the details of every little thing you did or omitted to do while you were supposed to do it, in her brain. Whenever she sees herself loosing in front of your logical explanations, she brings out that historical event and bombards you with it which eventually renders you incapable. 

STEP 3- Never curse. You do not want to add new events in her History book, thus causing future calamities. Craft your words sharp but keep a check on them. A woman will bring out her ultimate weapon that is ‘TEARS’ if she has no reasonable argument to counter your explanation and if you curse her, she will finally have a reason to bring out those crocodile tears, even if it did not hurt her a tinge.

STEP 4- Use her History Book method i.e Cite Precedents. Now a woman loves to shower your history on you which has the effect of shooting a poisoned arrow right on your bum, but she never expects you to do the same. Think of a situation where she did something which really hurt you and use it as your secret weapon. 

STEP 5- Be senseless. If you are logical and if you make sense, you are bound to fail. If the History you chose in Step 4 did not do the magic, jump to random arguments which may have nothing to do with the actual topic. Bring out stuffs like hairbrush left on the table with strands of hair still on it, how she ignores you because of her daily soaps etc. Make her speechless and by that I mean to keep talking until she gives up arguing.

STEP 6- Make her feel guilty. Now that you have become senseless and are almost on the verge of success, remind her of all the good things you have done for her. Women are the most guilty conscious species alive on the face of the Universe. Make a sad face, look straight in her eyes, force a bit of extra moisture in your eyes and with a low voice tell her how much you love her and what all you do just to make her happy. Make things up, you being MEN should be awesome at it.

STEP 7- Topic Forgotten. By now, your woman would be hugging you or would have cooled down atleast, with a guilty smile on her face. Hug her tight, say a sorry for the non disposal of the Garbage , and also make a secret note in your head as to always stare at random girls when your girl in not anywhere in the vicinity. 

STEP 8- Mission accomplished. Bask in the victory spotlight my manipulative friend!

67 comments:

  1. Waah RED you are making men ready to fight!! :D :D Step 4 will be the doom of all the powers we have on men :D :D

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  2. thnx 4 sharing th secret details..:P

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  3. #1, Yes. They're probably yelling their lungs out at you because you have really got at them this time over. The anger might be the amalgamation of a lot lot from the past (which could be 2 seconds, 2 weeks, 2 months older :S)
    #2, She keeps a tab of all you did, all you'd have wanted to do, and all that resides in your sub conscious (no, I was just exaggerating :P)
    #3, *You do not want to add new events in her History book, thus causing future calamities
    Hahahha! Apart from this bit, a friend of mine keeps telling me, this is what women give us when they have nothing to say, tears. We give them tears and them have nothing in retaliation >_<
    #4, #5,#6 Oh God. You make me laugh, Lalu :* I so agree with these points though.
    That Tariq guy who commented on my blog, we have tons and tons of squabbles about who can deviates the topic, the guy or the girl. We concluded that girls generally talk random and guys when touched on a soft spot, something they don't want to talk about -.-
    This was good. You are good. :D

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  4. Surprisingly I have never done step 4 but my man has always done it. maybe I should do it now. see how he feels. heh heh heh. And by reading this i just realized that I am the man in my relationship... tears and everything included. :-/

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  5. :D is all I have to say for this madame!!!

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  6. Arghhhhhhhhh..RED you shouldnt leak out our secretsssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!why you do that? now they will be cautious all the time..

    GOsh but this piece is AWESOME..''Women are the most guilty conscious species alive on the face of the Universe. Make a sad face, look straight in her eyes, force a bit of extra moisture in your eyes and with a low voice tell her how much you love her and what all you do just to make her happy. Make things up, you being MEN should be awesome at it''(I laughed like MANIAC at this)

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  7. I am hoping that their short term memory loss will make them forget the vital clues you have provided them with :P

    Awesome piece!! :D And I can see my man lose his mind when I fight with him this way :P

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  8. DOODE, STOP giving away secrets!! :P How'll we survive a relationship without them?:D

    And I'm making sure my guy never strays onto your page until you put another post:P Too much mortal damage, I say!;P

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  9. PROFOUND. finally the secrets have been spilled :P

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  10. O my god
    soooooooooooooo many secret details

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  11. I love you now. :P

    Hahaha, thats gonna prove useful I suppose. :P

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  12. :( I think I may give in to the guilt too....

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  13. Wah Wah, Kya teer maara hai! :D :D Sahhiiii....I feel sorry for men too...sometimes... ;) Great guide you have hear. Let's wait to hear from men now ;) :D :D

    How ARE you now, lady? Get well soon! Mwaah! :* :D

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  14. the perfect algorithm.....if only i had a woman to apply it on.... ;-)

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  15. You have probably opened the modern day version of the Pandora's box.

    Oh wise Swamini Red Handed-a-nanda, take me under your wing, enlighten me more.

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  16. AWESOME post Red!!! And as you mentioned, Tears is the ultimate weapon.. Its like what Brahmastra was to Mahabharata!!... Even if a guy reaches step 8 and thinks he has won, a girl will use her ultimate weapon.. And the rest, as they say, is history!! :)

    Binu Thomas.
    Bloggers Park

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  17. World's shortest post -

    How to Win an argument with a Man??.....

    Strip. Period.

    :)

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  18. I hope men get some help after reading this! :P

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  19. My dear lady, if you reveal these tactics, then how do we survive? :P Maybe you should write another list as of how to counter-attack when guys use these tips :P

    Anyway you rock at providing solutions to the problems of the poor guys sector! :D

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  20. hahahhaa...
    naaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiceeeeeeeee !!!!!!!!!!!!
    all the men in blogosphere would be thanking you for the step by step guide that you have provided out here for them to become the ultimate conqueror in the crusade they have to fight every moment of their lives after that one fateful moment when the most gracious being on planet earth (A WOMAN) enters their life and takes it upon herself to bring about a magnificent change in their bleh existence...^_^


    errrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmm...
    WHAT DID I JUST SAY???????????
    *scratching head*
    :O :O :O :O

    cheers !!!!

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  21. sigh.. its so much easier to just accept they're from Venus and nod your head rhythmically when they talk :)

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  22. oh em i in the category of early commentators this time.
    i feel honoured
    and btw this is yet another post which is paisa vassooll...! and you know what i think THE TALK NONSENSE thing is best... thank god i am still in the section of GIRLS :P
    so here my lady is coming the train of tareef.
    hilarious,funny,cool.awesome,freaking awesome,too freaking awesome and tooo too freaking awesome...
    :)
    i feel like saying
    chaukus like a tapori
    :)

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  23. If I show this to 'him', I am NEVER winning an arguement :P
    Step 2 goes with me as natural as breathing ! And step 3 I cannot tolerate.. Not even loud fights, let alone cursing..
    This is such an awesome post :)

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  24. Baap re .....how much effort and study have you done before writing this article ...it's so true..and i do most of these things to counter my moms or my girlfriend's attacks.....and yes they do work very effectively (80% of my work is done by step 6).

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  25. Haha!! That was funny yet true.
    Woman, you are darn good! =)

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  26. LOL!!! Loved the step 6;) Arguments in my house never move beyond step 6 in my home:P Nice analysis, Redhanded!!!

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  27. I'm totally not letting my bf ever read this article! :D

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  28. Hilarious, yet sound advice :) I guess its only manipulation that works (for either sex) when it comes to winning an argument!

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  29. Damnn Red!!!... aapne kya kiya??!!! naaahhhhhhhhhhhhhinnnnnn *overdramaticstylemein*..
    the li'l bit of 'muhahahaicancontrolyouwithmyemotionsandwatnot' is not gonna work with my byouy after he sees this... :|
    and sadlythe byouy has used #4 at me... i wonder where he learnt that from.. :P

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  30. Too gudddddd :) :) And very nice especially that it comes from a women herself :) :) Thanks for the tips :)

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  31. i doubt u r actually a girl..!!

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  32. maybe i should write a post as to what all can STILL be done by women..even after their bwoys read this one...hmmm...maybe shouldn't link it here...eh? ;) :P

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  33. Thanks for the details :) But is it damn sure that we win have this strategy against all women :P :P Some women won't want to be pointed out :) But still a nice writeup !!! When i get my gal i can make use of this post... he he

    http://ravis-ravishankar.blogspot.com/2011/11/four-years-of-it-industry-life.html

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  34. hehe. u got it girl... =)
    quite cool,.. youre doin these things arent you???
    hehe..

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  35. You gave it away!!!!! How could you betray us so! :p

    One thing is for sure, it was a great and true read. But am never letting my boyfriend read this. :)

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  36. Maithili-haha our weapon of mass destruction :P
    @Raghu- Thankyou for reading :D
    @Crystal- heehh itna bada comment! Thankyou machi!!!!! And yes, tears are our final resort :P
    @Kofykat- you the MAN....missy! You the man!
    @life-a-holic- Thankyou love!
    @The other side of me- Dont worry baby, they will take a looong time to properly learn the fine techniques :P
    @Joshidaniel- I trully hope so too! Thankyou for commenting :)
    @Srinidhi- YOU GO GIRL!!May the force be with u :P. About the short term memory,,hahahahah true true!
    @PeeVee- Hheheh, keep you man away from my blog :D. And dont worry we will always win, our tears come in handy
    @Maniac.Hunter- sadly yes :P
    @Seema- Hheheh :P
    @Sam- Hhaha I too hope that it helps you
    @The BluntBlogger- we all do sadly :(
    @MSM- heheheh! yes my bum is back in its pink of health and happiness
    @Rahul- I pray that you get one soon! :D
    @Atrocious SCribblings- eheheheheh! Modern pandoras box, I am humbled :) and swamini? hehe
    @Binu Thomas- that is were the make her feel guilty and ultimately hug her part comes :D. Yes tears really are the weapons of mass destruction!
    @R-A-J- gahahahahahah aweeeesome..gahahahahahaahahahahahah
    @Ria- I hope so too!
    @Keirthana- haahah word! I will work on that post now..Maybe for dalring of venus :P
    @Meoww- You made perfect sense my louly, we understand it all :DThankyou and hugs!
    @Dr Roshan- Well that works too, but then its not winning :D
    @Suvaiba- I love the tapori you :D. And talking senseless! Men will never master that art :P We are awesome!
    @Priyanka Kamath- Same here, I dont like men trying to patronize me :P
    @The guilty conscience- hehe, self study happened for writing this post. And step 6 is a sure winner :D
    @Vinati- Thankyou milady!
    @Cloud Nine- Ohhh!! Step 6 really is the winner i see :D
    @Rachana- haha good choice babe :D
    @Siddhartha Joshi- Manipulation is the ultimate key to success :D
    @Viya- waaaat!!He has mastered the step 4?!!! Hai ram!! Beti, how will u counter it :P
    @Bharath- tahnkyou ever soooo much. Thankyou for being a regular reader :)
    @Nirvana- Buhuhuhu...now they start to question my gender, I am very much a girl
    @Aqua Guy- hhahah I read that post of yours :D
    @Ravishankar- heheh pls do use up the tips, till u reach tht ultimate success :D.Thanks for reading :)
    @Khareen- I do i do i do!! We all do :P
    @jojofeelings- hahahahaha sahi hai..keep him away from this article :P.

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  37. Unfortunately :( :( and since then he's been winning 'most' of the arguments.. daaayumn! :|
    but the magic of tears still works ;) :P :P

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  38. I was led here by a fellow blogger, Chintan :)
    Now this is one super extraordinary post :D :D
    I'll keep this in mind :)

    Lovely blog, I'm thankful Chintan told me to pay a visit :D

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  39. Even though you have put out everything in the open, I seriously doubt men will be able to learn anything :) So no harm done :) :)

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  40. Wow-you like stepped into the head of women and worked on the mean...er...men!:-)
    Most of what you say actually works very well with me and most of what you say makes women flare up is also so true...makes me wonder now that you would never let your man win any argument, would you or perhaps you've lost too many to come out with this!

    any which way...brilliant!:-)

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  41. Hawww!!! You let out all of the secrets!! Why? Why? Why?
    hehehe... I totally do all of these!!! And you know.. even if every guy reads this.. vll still win all the arguments ;)

    p.s - something is totally wrong with blogger. I got the update of your post now! :(

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  42. A must read for guys :P Let's see how much they gain out of it :)

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  43. Trying to stir a gender riot, are we?

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  44. @Viya-Oh the magic tears are a sure saver
    @astroytellerslostpages- Hey thankyou so much that you dropped by.. Thanks to Chintan too!
    @Purvi- hehehe..true true true
    @Suruchi-I always loose :( I never win an argument, he plays it tooo well :(
    @TheGirlAtFirstAvenue- Oh the blogger really is messed up, I dont get updates of many blogposts only :(
    @Philo- Thankyou :)
    @Prateek- hahah I am pleading innocent!!

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  45. This post is so true and I totally agree with Step3 and Step4. So now that you have disclosed all our game plans, we have to come up with new strategies... DAMN :P

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  46. I think I need these tips too. I can NEVER win an argument. :/ I hate confrontations, and hence, hate arguments. Which in turn, leads to me losing the argument.

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  47. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LET OUT OUR SECRET? :P
    Hehehe.. well now even after this if Men can't help themselves, it would be sad! Hehe cool post RED! :D

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  48. For women:

    HOW TO WIN AN ARGUMENT WITH A MAN:

    1) Take off your shirt

    THE END

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  49. You have been tagged here : http://jojofeelings.wordpress.com/2011/11/25/award-from-me/

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  50. @Prasanna Rao- Hhaha dont worry, it needs some good sense to win an argument with us :D
    @Spaceman Spiff- U and me are alike!!
    @Confused Soul-Thankyou soo much!
    @Kalpak- Lol..good one
    @jojofeelings- Thanks!

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  51. This was a hilarious read :) .. i loved the women bein a wiki bit.. :) ... hehehe ..

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  52. Women are like Wikipedia :-))

    Easiest way to avoid confrontation with your wife is to make her believe that she controls you!!!!! Man should master the art of faking total submission.

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  53. How do you write such seriously awesome posts. This post like should NOT be shown to all guys. We don't want to lose arguments okay?

    Why did you do this? WHYYYY :p Unfair to girl world. :P

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  54. @Menachery- Thankyou soooooooo much. Means a lot coming from u :)
    @Vinod Vyas- Hhahahahah good one Boss!
    @Sonshu- Hheheh I am sorry but I was out of topics :D...Thankyou :)

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  55. Another step:- Whenever you are wrong-Admit it.
    And when ever you are right, just keep quiet!

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  56. Very useful post. For all its comic value, it could really be used in argument. I know *I* am gonna try it next time. But first I must go out and find a girlfriend, or should I...? :D

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  57. You revealed women's secrets here :( Hope my guy isn't reading this ;)

    Awesome post as always :)

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  58. @red handed: This! this one post should be written in the annals of history! First time here and loved every bit of it.
    I am going to ask you ask the same question that i have asked already. Do you mind writing on this topic more so that i can take it to a publisher? :P

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  59. Yay ! And Finally, a woman herself telling a woman's secrets :D :D Now after reading this, I expect some grip on the topic. Most of the times, I end up being on a losing side (Pyar ka Punchanama Was really based on all boys life. A True story it is, trust me.)

    Well, I have done everything except step 3 and 5. But now I realize how naive I was in rest of the steps as well. You don't even know worth of this topic and what is means to poor creatures called Boys!

    I owe you a treat ! Anytime and at anyplace you want !! :D
    Cheers.

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  60. omg don't give me this crap women are evil.
    and my proof is that eve ate the forbidden fruit.and tricked addam into eating it also
    so then god damned eve and now she has to get her way all the time.because she listened to a snake.and she feels guilt and can't belame herselve so she has to belame men.so woman was wrong from the start!

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  61. Mother of gawd!..You are Moses born again.. You just recounted exactly how I tackle her..ABSO-fucking-LUTELY, hilarious stuff..RED U ROCK , Comrade!

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  62. Haha. I'm not sure all women fight light that.

    (I would like to believe I don't.)

    I believe in reason! Go reason!

    But I'll be a good person and take it in good humor. ;)
    Nice! (Y)

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  63. Wondering if i am senseless enough to share this with him.. err no i think not ;-)

    P.S- I should visit your blog everyday for my daily dose of humour :), glad you dropped a comment on mine or else I would never have discovered yours!

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  64. I'm going to hide this guide from my future-guy :P

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Spit It Out I Say !!!