Showing posts with label lost. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lost. Show all posts

Sunday, 7 October 2012

The HEAD-HEART Conflict.......



It was past midnight when he caught the flicker on his mobile screen. A call from a number which was glimmering boldly across the screen. A number he once had deleted with a crushed heart and salty eyes. A number which he had tried hard to forget just like the person to whom it belonged, but all in vain. A faint smile escaped his lips as he gently ran his finger across the screen as if touching the woman who had burnt his heart. It’s funny when you cannot hate someone who left you shattered, he thought. He picked up the call after a few rings and decided not to make the first move. Never again, he promised.

She waited for his voice to calm her racing heart but was invited by a deadly silence. Her heart was the reason behind the call while her mind had been voting against it. But the heart was a little child who fell into temptations while the mind like a mature man could do nothing but watch. She decided to make the first move. For the first and the last time, she promised. Her voice broke as she tried to speak. She cleared her throat and softly said ‘Hello’.

He let her voice pinch his heart, as thousands of memories started reeling right in front of his eyes. He decided to remain silent and let her voice tingle his senses. She was in his town for a few days and wanted to meet him before she left. She continued speaking, while he pictured her face and the myriad expressions that touched her features as she spoke. He heard her asking him if 4’o clock in the evening was perfect for the meet. His mind like a prudent soul told him to bluntly reject her plan to suddenly meet him but before he could give it a second thought, his heart did the ominous work and said ‘Perfect’.

She was used to waiting for him and she remembered how his crooked smile would melt away her anger. He would blow her a kiss and wink foxily while taking a seat facing her. She had always wondered why he never sat beside her like the other couples did. The same café, the same time, every Saturday in the 4 years of their relationship. A ritual they followed until she decided to crush his heart and live according to the rules framed by the society and for the honour of her family. 3 years later, she was now sitting at the same café, at the same time waiting for the man she had tried to unlove. It pricked her that she couldn’t. 

He made his way and took a seat facing her, a place he preferred. This way none of her expressions would escape his gaze and her smile would forever be his to cherish. She was still the same for him, deep in his heart, but he realized that even with the sadness in her eyes she still was the most beautiful thing he had ever known. Silence prevailed and he decided to break the ice by asking her to place the order. He liked her to make the decisions and crushing his heart was one of them. He heard her telling the waiter “One classic burger without cheese or mayonnaise for me and Tuna sandwich with french fries and tomatoes on the side for him." He looked at her and smiled knowingly, for she was still the same woman he fell in love with. The fact that after 3 years, she still remembered the little things he liked, interested him but his heart continued pricking him moment after moment. 

She looked at him and couldn’t suppress the warm smile that glowed across her face just at the sight of him. She realised that happiness was stored in moments like these. A smile from him and her heart throbbed with the boundless love she had for this very man. A feeling she had tried to corner and subsequently erase but couldn’t. She let him speak and heard him telling her how his work gave him peace through the tough times. She couldn’t help but ask him to define the word ‘Peace’ and got lost in the philosophies he tried to put across to her. She smiled as she remembered the late night calls where he would talk to her about subjects so random and philosophical that she would unknowingly fall asleep. He would always apologize to her the next day and promise never to bore her again. She jolted back to reality as he said “So this is what Peace means to me. My work brings peace to me

It was dusk when they decided to part ways, again. She left for her hotel and he started walking back home. He wondered why she had wanted to meet him. It never occurred to him to ask her, for he was busy getting to know the things that happened in the three years they were not in touch. He decided to send her a message but then opted against it. His heart was cherishing the memories of this final meeting and he just didn’t want to ruin it. 

Lying on her hotel bed, she knew exactly why she had wanted to meet him. This time her mind and her heart were in symphony for they knew the purity of the emotion and the strength of the bond he and she shared. They knew time was just an excuse and that something with such depth could never be erased. She now felt calm as life finally started to solve the puzzle and she slept with a blank mind after a very long time.

A day after the meet and he still couldn’t erase her face from his mind. He had decided not to work today and spend the day alone at home just reliving the moment. Insanity that what this is, his mind reminded. A knock on the door and he opened it blaming the world for coming between him and his solitude. A familiar figure with the familiar smile he had worshipped for years stood in front of him.

She pushed him away and hurriedly closed the door. A tear made its way down her cheek as she hugged him. His mind asked a zillion questions while his heart knew all the answers. One look in her eyes and he knew she was here to stay. As they lay on bed, she basked in the smell of the only man she had ever loved. His arms around her, his stubs rubbing her cheeks and his warmth soothing her soul. She caught him sleeping while his arms were still wrapped around her as if he was afraid of losing her again. She nudged him till he finally woke up with a childish grunt and looked her straight in her eyes only to glow up realizing he still had her. 

She finally decided to ask him. “So define the word ‘Peace’ for me again” she said. He smiled and pulled her closer, kissed her gently on the lips and then closed his eyes to sleep with her still in his arms. He now knew what ‘Peace’ was. “I am now at peace”, he softly said and went back to sleep.





P.S- Not the usual dose of humour right and bloody long right? Well I am in an Emo mood right now, hence this post. Fictitious writeup only.
P.P.S- It’s funny how priorities change with time. The people remain the same but the feelings disappear. Strange!
P.P.P.S- Been busy with life and tired of making every post my come back post. I don’t know when I will post next. Soon or never. Battling a screwed up mind.

Sunday, 12 June 2011

Why Should I Be Getting Married



1)      FRUIT THEORY-According to Amma girls are like Fruits as in the Apple, Banana, Orange kind. As she purports, the theory rightfully suggests that like fruits go bad after some time, girls too after an age go bad. Thus, they should be eaten/ married before the spoilage time. When asked about the spoilage post marriage she remarks “CAVEAT EMPTOR” which as most of you know means ‘LET THE BUYER BEWARE’.

2)      THE BABYUSER THEORY-I am tired of going to the shop and asking for Johnsons baby products. The old man gawks at me and then scans me from head to toe. Why can’t a 22 yr old girl use that product? Is it clinically prohibited? After marriage and ones the so called baby Red Handed comes, I can use the kid as the means to get my products. That way even the eerie looks can be escaped.


3)      ATM THEORY-I have come to a stage in my life where I am stuck. Final year of college and isn’t even sitting for placements since Law Firms and its heavy pocket salary doesn’t interest her ( Hard face slap). Wants to pursue higher studies and is interested in Government services and NGO’s but life is uncertain. So at this point getting married is the best option especially when the wants are always running 1000km/hr faster than the needs. A marriage to an ATM machine sounds generous enough.

4)      ON YOUR FACE THEORY-The relatives who have been stalking my Facebook account and gossiping about the mystery man can finally get it ON THEIR BLOODY FACES. I am tired of the cousins and aunties whose mug-heads are topped with halos, looming over my facebook profile and later asking me who is the guy I am talking to. I am tired of changing my privacy settings to the point that I have deleted half of the relatives and now my life is more bitched about than their favourite soaps villain.


5)      GOLD THEORY- Like I have mentioned in one of my previous post, being a Malayalee there is a lot of Gold involved in the marriage. I want to get married before the gold collected increases the amount I can put up with and stand throughout the ceremony.

P.S- I have not reached the SPOILAGE TIME and marriage is no where in the cards right now, but sometimes you think about marriage how much ever tom-boyish you are as a girl. Blame is to be put on the one who made me think about it. Sometimes you are so happy with certain moments spent that you just want to make it all yours and have it all your life. I am talking nonsense now.

P.S.S-  Sorry for posting this. Having my Stupid yet happy about it phase of life. If i find that anyone of you have stopped following me after this post, i am gonna start my famous VOODOO.The entire post makes no sense but was written because the writer wanted to. She has lost her mind. Prayers needed! 

Photo Courtesy- dumree.com 

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

Love maybe just an Overrated emotion




Girl- You are always soo busy..i wanna break up..HUH
        (thinks he will be cute enough to cuddle up and call her back)
Boy- I am right now having Pizza and my hands are full of cheese. I don’t have time for
         your nonsense. If you wanna leave then leave.
        (knows that she has done this several times and has always come back without him
         trying)
Girl- Nonsense? I was joking. Why cant you understand that much? All I wanted was you
         b a little bit cute and cuddle up and call me back. Instead you call what I did
         nonsense.
Boy- I told you I was busy and I message you even when my hands are full of cheese and it’s all over the mobile phone. I cant be with a girl who says breakup and is so weak.
Girl- Like I haven’t messaged you while juggling things I got to complete. All I wanted that you call me back and be cute.
Boy- I am not week and I am not a fool to call back a girl who wants to breakup for such silly things.
Girl- I repeat it was a joke and I even put a HUH in the end. I made sure. You know I never go away and I never leave but would it hurt if you try to call back? Is it against your MACHO image?
Boy- You are lame and dumb and I won’t call you back. Come back when you have brushed away your weak and dumb attitude.
Girl- Let me see how long it takes for you to call me back..tc
Boy- You have said bye and tc several times since last night.
Girl- Yes foolish me!! Still msging. bye nd Fuck Off!
Boy-  Bye. You have lied to me several times and I should have dumped you. But I dint. You don’t deserve me. You deserve someone like your ex. Fuck off bitch.
Girl- All I wanted was you call back. You know I wouldn’t leave. Bye
Boy- Buhbye

What can you call a relationship like this? Overconfidence that lead to stagnation and death?Both weren't wrong but everything ended up because they thought just about their own self rather than as a couple or maybe about each other..

Relationships are strange! Try never to be in one :P

Monday, 14 March 2011

WRINKLED LIFE






She opens her eyes on a cold bed
The walls around painted in white
A picture hanging on the right of a little boy smiling bright
A grilled window lets the sunshine in
Trying in vain to erase the darkness in her life

She looks at the calendar on the stand
And stops the tears from finding its way out
If she could just hear the sound of her boy
And tell him she could still bake his birth day cake tonight.

The morning seems unwelcoming and the nights dark n long
A bruised heart stamped and stabbed yet crammed with hope
She walks slowly carrying the burden of a secret stone
Quivering in between, wishing for her only support to take her back

She walks bare foot on the green grass
But why was everything she saw having the glint of black
She sees a girl in the distant
Twirling around with her baby in her hand
Flashback haunts, and it’s more than she could withstand.

What wrong had she done
Had she ever left him stranded in the streets alone?
Had she ever left his hands and left him under the wings of doom?
It’s true that some questions have no answer.

She looks at the gate yet one more time
They said it had changed into a daily worship
Eyes vacant with tears but filled with hope
That her boy might take her back