Why Should I Be Getting Married

1)      FRUIT THEORY-According to Amma girls are like Fruits as in the Apple, Banana, Orange kind. As she purports, the theory rightfully suggests that like fruits go bad after some time, girls too after an age go bad. Thus, they should be eaten/ married before the spoilage time. When asked about the spoilage post marriage she remarks “CAVEAT EMPTOR” which as most of you know means ‘LET THE BUYER BEWARE’.

2)      THE BABYUSER THEORY-I am tired of going to the shop and asking for Johnsons baby products. The old man gawks at me and then scans me from head to toe. Why can’t a 22 yr old girl use that product? Is it clinically prohibited? After marriage and ones the so called baby Red Handed comes, I can use the kid as the means to get my products. That way even the eerie looks can be escaped.

3)      ATM THEORY-I have come to a stage in my life where I am stuck. Final year of college and isn’t even sitting for placements since Law Firms and its heavy pocket salary doesn’t interest her ( Hard face slap). Wants to pursue higher studies and is interested in Government services and NGO’s but life is uncertain. So at this point getting married is the best option especially when the wants are always running 1000km/hr faster than the needs. A marriage to an ATM machine sounds generous enough.

4)      ON YOUR FACE THEORY-The relatives who have been stalking my Facebook account and gossiping about the mystery man can finally get it ON THEIR BLOODY FACES. I am tired of the cousins and aunties whose mug-heads are topped with halos, looming over my facebook profile and later asking me who is the guy I am talking to. I am tired of changing my privacy settings to the point that I have deleted half of the relatives and now my life is more bitched about than their favourite soaps villain.

5)      GOLD THEORY- Like I have mentioned in one of my previous post, being a Malayalee there is a lot of Gold involved in the marriage. I want to get married before the gold collected increases the amount I can put up with and stand throughout the ceremony.

P.S- I have not reached the SPOILAGE TIME and marriage is no where in the cards right now, but sometimes you think about marriage how much ever tom-boyish you are as a girl. Blame is to be put on the one who made me think about it. Sometimes you are so happy with certain moments spent that you just want to make it all yours and have it all your life. I am talking nonsense now.

P.S.S-  Sorry for posting this. Having my Stupid yet happy about it phase of life. If i find that anyone of you have stopped following me after this post, i am gonna start my famous VOODOO.The entire post makes no sense but was written because the writer wanted to. She has lost her mind. Prayers needed! 

Photo Courtesy- dumree.com