Sunday 12 June 2011

Why Should I Be Getting Married

1)      FRUIT THEORY-According to Amma girls are like Fruits as in the Apple, Banana, Orange kind. As she purports, the theory rightfully suggests that like fruits go bad after some time, girls too after an age go bad. Thus, they should be eaten/ married before the spoilage time. When asked about the spoilage post marriage she remarks “CAVEAT EMPTOR” which as most of you know means ‘LET THE BUYER BEWARE’.

2)      THE BABYUSER THEORY-I am tired of going to the shop and asking for Johnsons baby products. The old man gawks at me and then scans me from head to toe. Why can’t a 22 yr old girl use that product? Is it clinically prohibited? After marriage and ones the so called baby Red Handed comes, I can use the kid as the means to get my products. That way even the eerie looks can be escaped.

3)      ATM THEORY-I have come to a stage in my life where I am stuck. Final year of college and isn’t even sitting for placements since Law Firms and its heavy pocket salary doesn’t interest her ( Hard face slap). Wants to pursue higher studies and is interested in Government services and NGO’s but life is uncertain. So at this point getting married is the best option especially when the wants are always running 1000km/hr faster than the needs. A marriage to an ATM machine sounds generous enough.

4)      ON YOUR FACE THEORY-The relatives who have been stalking my Facebook account and gossiping about the mystery man can finally get it ON THEIR BLOODY FACES. I am tired of the cousins and aunties whose mug-heads are topped with halos, looming over my facebook profile and later asking me who is the guy I am talking to. I am tired of changing my privacy settings to the point that I have deleted half of the relatives and now my life is more bitched about than their favourite soaps villain.

5)      GOLD THEORY- Like I have mentioned in one of my previous post, being a Malayalee there is a lot of Gold involved in the marriage. I want to get married before the gold collected increases the amount I can put up with and stand throughout the ceremony.

P.S- I have not reached the SPOILAGE TIME and marriage is no where in the cards right now, but sometimes you think about marriage how much ever tom-boyish you are as a girl. Blame is to be put on the one who made me think about it. Sometimes you are so happy with certain moments spent that you just want to make it all yours and have it all your life. I am talking nonsense now.

P.S.S-  Sorry for posting this. Having my Stupid yet happy about it phase of life. If i find that anyone of you have stopped following me after this post, i am gonna start my famous VOODOO.The entire post makes no sense but was written because the writer wanted to. She has lost her mind. Prayers needed! 

Photo Courtesy- 


  1. lol the pic is hilarious! i love your posts like this one. you do give funnily legit reasons for a girl to get married. what about a guy? :D

  2. once again you came and got me rofl! :) Johnson baby products..Ahem Ahem .. Although the ATM theory looks tempting :D..and uff!! the facebook stalkers!
    Enjoy the carefree days :)

  3. I don't think you have lost it, since all of it makes sense. Final year Law, LLM idea dropped, want to get into writing...have been missing college for 10 days...Annnd...still at home...surrounded by relatives who are indirectly trying to find out whether I have a boyfriend (!) orrr...whether I would make one (WTH?)Red Handed...Hi5! I am praying for you! (And Myself)

  4. @The Lover- The pic really is funny isnt it. :D...Thanks for being the first reader :)

    @Maithili- I love it when my stupidity makes other ROFL..Atleast some gain :P... nd Yes i use Johnsons..dnt Ahem :P

    @MSM-So you get it dont you. We both are so stuck.!! Hypothetical Hi5 to you too my love! Prayers!!:D

  5. ROFLest theory: Gold Theory ;)

    Sigh the pressures of marriage..and you just ..once you get married there will be pressures for kids....sigh pressures !!!!

  6. hahaaaa.... interesting buttttt genuine reasons...:P

  7. @Scribby- HeH I love it when i see ROFL in the comment section. I second you about the pressure for kids thing! I was born exactly one year and two days after my parents got married :P

    @Irfanuddin-Thankyou sire :D

  8. Hey, I miss my Million Dollar Smile (Grin). Could you lend me the extra gold that you have accumulated ? I'll get Golden teeth :P

    Some people tell me that a girl becomes more beautiful after marriage. How could an eaten fruit be beautiful (Except apple, Steve Jobs has made a quite expensive apple and one bite is taken) :D

    Blasphemous Aesthete

  9. Hey...cute picture and i loved the ATM theory. Wish i were not married already. May be i should give it a try next time over:P

    Fun post and sincere prayers to regain your senses;)))

  10. Haha... I loved it! I love the comedy err tragedy of your life... bwaahahahaha
    Oh, ok :P

    The blog theory: The blogger after marriage gets more and interesting topics to write humor on, since the life is humor itself. Infact, the blogger can also talk of recipes, how to dry baby socks in oven, the generation gap and so on.

    U aint alone on the 'lost the direction' episode. I am a bachelor in engineering, master in design and interested in NGO related activities so planning to go into sociology now =P


  11. Hey !! The relatives part is half true for every other person on FB. Changing privacy settings is one big pain :P I love the way u put things up ! =D

  12. also - to mention - i love the illustration attached! =D

  13. @Blasphemous Aesthete- Golden teeth are so out of fashion i tell you :P..and what to say about my moms critically promoted theory..SIGH!

    @Cloud Nine- Lol give it a try next time over? Ahem :P..Keep praying though :D

    @Aakash- Your blog theory sounds pretty captivating :P but i dont think a blog with such a name and author name can deal with topic like those..About the stuck part, seriously it would have so much better if life gave us a map with directions in it.

    @Raghu- Thankyou :)

    @Anjli- Seriously nothing irks more than the privacy setting!! Thankyou my girl for commenting :D

  14. Hey those are brilliant theories..~*~ like like~* ~ the relatives and the face book part is very true. smtimes it is really painful to face these ppl

  15. Nice way to explain marriage using Theories :) Maybe you should post this blog on facebook (if you havent already) and let ur near / dear ones, who are more over-concerned abt you, read it..
    Being a Malayalee, I am sure it'll be fun :)

  16. The pic is hilarious! :D Great post. ;)

  17. hahahaha..
    this reminds me of my post...
    something at ur age what I wrote loong back... just that nw I hate myself that why I didnt married earlier :D

  18. @Bharathi- Its really is painful! Its like there life goal to stalk me!

    @Binu Thomas- Lol..i am anonymous as you see and also the relative gang will not digest it as nicely as i think :P..So let it be restricted to this page

    @Spaceman Spiff- Yeh thanks :D

  19. Heyy I am a Malayalee female too and I find your 4th and 5th points so true !! But on my marriage day I did not yield to the typical gold show and wore just one necklace ...for which surprisingly my in laws were all praises and hence I escaped !
    And true, I am considering having an alternative facebook account and add relatives there :D

  20. Yet another post of yours that made me :)
    Nice theories by the way. On the whole.. Karthik likes it!

  21. @Chakoli- You are one lucky woman my friend! :D.God bless! i am goiing to check your post out now :D
    @Anita- You are like the custom breaker...and guess what i am proud of it. I am so against this whole gold thing wrapped under the facade of CUSTOM...way to go!
    @Cartic- Heh...i am so happy i make atleast some people smile :D..I feel blessed you knw :D Thankyou sirjee :D

  22. the theories n the pic :)

    I sooo know the fruit theory... its like an Indian tradition :D

  23. Great Pic and Brilliant theories.... spoilage time and Fruit theory too gud..

  24. @R-A-J-You understand it..dont you :P

    @Partha- hehe thnkyou sirjee "D

  25. My wishes are totally with you..get well soon girl..may your other part of the heart broken by this post get healed up soon :P ..

    Enjoyed the theories and somehow found them so so so so much true..though not experienced but fast forwarded gen-X keeping track :P

    as always brilliant write-up..keep penning down girly..heyyyy btw when is my tag going to be taken up? :P

  26. @Alcina- Lol..i broke no heart :P
    Thankyou girl...and about the tag..i looooove you a zillion times for tagging but i cant post about it. You know na just random writeups i do...but i will add the tagging with my next blogpost...wht say :D



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