Tuesday 21 June 2011


I have been coming across some brutal accent tragedies. The way certain things are pronounced is really killing my brain cells! The incorrect pronunciation creates so many hubbubs, yet it’s so hard to control the tummy tickling it gifts me sometimes. Here are the some pronunciations which have made me FOMFCLATGM (Fall Of My Frigging Chair Laughing And Try to Gag Myself)

Shatter Line One- I have never tried CHUM PUG NEE
           I was flabbergasted! When your friend whom you are secretly jealous of tells you that she hasn’t ever tried this strange sounding thing, you get stuck in a nerve crunching dilemma. How can you tell her that forget trying it, you haven’t even heard of this beauty of a thing. But I gathered the courage and told her that I haven’t too. Moments later she points at an image in the Magazine she had been reading and it struck me. She was all this while talking about CHAMPAIGNE. I just wanted to die and attain nirvana!

Shatter Line Two- CHAAV RUU LAATE
          I really thought it might be some Latin phrase like Carpe Diem! I Googled it but couldn’t find out the true meaning. Seemed to me like it had some real deep meaning to it. I used Google translator and tried Latin, Greek, French, Spanish but no rescue came! Finally I gave up and went to the guy who had spoken those magical words. The line was ‘‘He has a CHAAV RUU LAAATE’’. On further questioning he brought out a  catalogue and pointed to the main page header ‘CHEVROLET’. *Hard face slap*

Shatter Line Three- PAAND
         This was the winner! How can someone mispronounce certain simple words? Is their tongue having issues? I went to Allen-Solly outlet the other day and asked for some black trousers and the female replied, “You want PAAND?”. I was like “No just the trousers! Is PAAND a new trend? Like Jeggings?”. “ No Madam, you want black PAAND?”. “Fine, show it to me”. She disappears only to arrive a minute later with some black PANTS! Hell might be so entertaining!!!! Don’t even ask what a simple Panty can be pronounced as. Kungfu Panda’s younger sister, PANDY!

PS- You would have figured out by now that my thought accentuating areas of the brain are on strike. Better post next time!

Image Courtesy- elingles.co.cc


  1. The other two I can deal with.. non-'eenglees wards' and all that :P

    But paand? PAAND?!

    Awesome post, as usual.
    No creepy look this time?:P

  2. Haha...that Chevrolet part was quite rib-tickling and I can understand..it gets really frustrating at times...have seen this.
    I usually correct the other person if I know that he won't mind or better, if he is a good friend of mine.

    By the way, thanks a lot for visiting my blog! :)
    Take care!

  3. lmao. chum pug nee. classic. btw i know someone who pronounces kidney as kin knee. :D

  4. Paand is the clear winner over here !!! :) As far as Chevrolet and Champagne is concerned, we can give the benefit of the doubt ;-) simbly (Mallu accent) because English is a very funny language :)

  5. The first two were somewhat ok but PAND! hilarious!!

  6. lol have come across such words and even statements like 'rain is coming', 'i'm sitting in the exam'...et al ;) a lot of times..

  7. LOL... u also gave a new word to the chatters FOMFCLATGM :) ... Pand is really funny. in my part of the world(Tamilnadu) they pronounce it Fant..

  8. Lol, Paand was hilarious :D btw "FOMFCLATGM" you better copyright that :P

  9. :D :D ...That was shattering indeed..Gosh! I pray your soul's wound be healed soon asap :P

    And as always the way your write is marvelous and you never miss out to tickle our funny bones :)

    I am up for more..but tell me when am i going to see my tag taken :P :P ??

  10. ROFL..!!! thts one of the brilliant post I came across these days..!!!

  11. We vote for Paand.

  12. hehehehe..
    infact these are still complex..
    i toh had a bad experience bwith the word... stu-die.... which was actually study :D

    good post :D

  13. Those must have been awesome moments! :D Please record more such gems.

  14. That was a good one.. as always with your posts.. it brought a smile on.. :) rather a laugh!! :D

  15. Oru Paand maaadam :D

    u know, once upon a time, I used to spell Champagne that way :P

    Hey Red, ws in Keral fr bout a week n a half n when I saw the KSRTC buses, I cudnt help thinkin of ur earlier post on 'em :D

    Loved the way ppl screw up the Queen's English.. heard this one whn I ws in keral..

    "Lil Tintu was told that he failed in English...

    He thought to himself in total disbelief "Njaan thottuvunno?...athum Englishilo?"



  16. haha.. amazin post ! Quite rib-ticklin i must add.

  17. This is all so very Mallu. Not that us Punjus are any better, but well we don't have Ungills and Aundies in Gelff no.

    P.S. "Fomfriclatgamy" might be a slight improvement.

  18. hahahahaha!!! really fandastik!! The pand one is excellent!

  19. Hahaha....ultimate! PAAND??? woohoooo....i might die of laughter and girl, you will be responsible!

  20. @ ALL- I am very sorry that i couldnt thankyou all personally for reading my dumb blogpost this time. Wasnt in town! Classmates wedding! Thankyou!!!!! :D

  21. The first one looked like Champak Nee to me, like 'Have you read Champak? Neee (Nahiiii)' :P

    It happens sometimes with me too. When the movie Swades was released, I tried to read it like an English word, "Swades" like "Swaydes" :P

    Hilarious read :)

    Blasphemous Aesthete

  22. ha ha ha ha ha haha rotfstiking my tounge out n laughin
    chum pug nee peeye bina aise aise sahbd
    chum pug nee pee ne ke baad kya haal hoyega teri dost ka ...
    seriously u wer jealous of tat ...seriously ...???ha ha ha ha y ..??

    this is definately the most hilarious post i have ever...read .....
    pnady ..ha ha ha

  23. Wo wo.. i am glad u voiced this - about pronunciations I'd have a class to take... Or may be two - wait may be a million. Especially if u've been to kerla or amongst mallu's u;ll frequently hear Mathematics being murdered by MADAMATIGS teechers , Blood Turning into BLED and PANDY's and Yungles(uncles) and yandy's(aunty's) and GELF(gulf) :p Die but u wont get certain people saying things right. Wait - how could i forget the most hillarious thing av come across - may be i shud write a blog on it too ... i'll anyways tell yu - the KFC cochin had a guy screaming " BADDI one COCK"(instead of Buddy one Coke!) heights I tell yu! And don't charge me with plagiarist laws incase i happen to copy this topic after my challenge :P Keep posting!

  24. @Blasphemous Aesthete- That is so much better! Here when the movie KAMINEY released, this chap from my class asked me "HEY LETS GO WATCH KAMINI"...Pwahahah

    @Amnn- Yes i am jealous of tht chick. she is just too good atleast before i heard CHUM PUG NEE :P
    Thaankyou jee!

    @anjli- BADDI ONE COCK...Loooooooooooooooooool...For the movie KAMINEY it was pronounced KAMINI :P
    Thankyou girl!

  25. OMG That was Hilarious!!!!
    The Champaigne was hilarious!! The pants too!!! Lol!
    I had 3 teachers this sem who I swear have said "impotent' for 'important'. Once we were actually talking about some drug and the teacher said. This property of the drug makes it impotent. It took us a while to realise he meant it was an important question :P

  26. @red handed - talk to me sumtym - i have a million more of those :P may be u shud tag me and out it the " BUDDY one COCK!" out here :)

  27. @anjli- lol i know Kerala has gifted you many more! But dont u think this place is still lovely!..heh!
    @Harini- Impotent for important!!! That is epic! Looooooooool...thnku for dropping by.

  28. @red handed - yep i do i do :) Gods own country !!

  29. Awesomeness. Plain and simple. And no, thats not the same as the one in Kung Fu Panda.
    Also, you reminded me of this guy who wanted JAALAAPEYNO on his Sub. I could swear he was not of this planet. Also, posh delhites love FAJEETAS...the famous mexican dish... you should try it sometime. Not in a North Indian eatery though...

    Great place!
    Scribblers Inc.

  30. "Paand" really got me cracking! Cool post

  31. @Anjli- It really is :D Maybe the lesser known Gods though :P
    @Scribblers inc- Great place eh?.. Thankyou for reading and commenting you knw :D
    @Nikita Banerjee- Heh thnkyou too miss!

  32. I am gonna subscribe to your blog. :))))))))))))))))

  33. on d topic...
    inspired by my poetry (?) one of my readers sent me this brilliant piece of work...

    A Poetry.
    A flower
    Pleasing anyone..everyone.
    innocence what else..
    we are flowers
    having smiling faces
    humanity is our innocence..
    why don't we like other?
    i like mine..
    why not you?
    beautiful infinity i'm..you are..
    so beautiful i'm..we are..
    let's blossom to our Mother n Father.
    its yours nothing else..
    peace n love n joy..
    beauty of yours everywhere..
    pleasing anyone..everyone..
    nothing but innocence .. <<<<<<<<<<<

    Yes, i AM considering quitting my blog if this is what i inspire :|

  34. and also...remember this movie...band baja baaraat?


    'nuf said! :P


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