CAUGHT RED HANDED

Welcome to the Friday episode of the infamous "Caught Red Handed" news bulletin. Our special correspondent Miss Anuglyhead, has given us five breaking news which will shake the starry world of celebs and total fakeness. Without further adieu we direct you to our special correspondent. Miss Anuglyhead, the show is all yours now.

Ladies and Gentlemen, today I Miss.Anuglyhead is proud to bring to your notice five devastatingly tragicomic news from the world of Glam and Shame. If you do not believe me or the sources or the images, then kindly revert back to us with your own hypothesis, to which we may or may not serve you with an explanation.

Our top news for today is that BEYONCE IS COLORBLIND. Did anyone watch the singing sensation perform at the Macy's 4th of July Fireworks? The concert took place on Liberty Island and looked more spectacular against the backdrop of the Statue of Liberty. Beyonce went all Patriotic by performing ' GOD BLESS THE USA'  in front of a gigantic crowd. What caught my eyes was her attire for the concert. She wore a strapless floor length black gown and red and white necklace for her 2 song performance. Was she going for a funeral or the Fourth of July? And are the colors of the American flag RED, WHITE and BLACK? No Beyonce Darling, it is RED, WHITE, and BLUE. There is only one reasonable explanation for this happening and that is the poor lady is COLORBLIND.

The next breaking news is that PARIS HILTON WANTS TO BE THE PRESIDENT OF USA. The musical disaster is planning to run for the post of President. She is deeply unsatisfied with the state of the STATUE OF LIBERTY and promises her voters that she will make the Statue go all PINK and directs its makers to give it a BOOB JOB. But she lost the sentiments of many prospective voters, after she used the American Flag to wipe off the poop of her CHIHUAHUA.

Next up, BRITNEY SPEARS SUES A 12YR OLD KID for calling her a 'bad rash who refuses to go away'. In his defense the kid made the Hon'ble Judge hear the back to blond's not so new album ' HOLD IT AGAINST ME' after which the Judge decided that Miss Britney has to buy the kid a PS3. He also directed her to take dance and publicity stunt lessons from LADY GAGA.

LADY GAGA IS A SCIENTIST. In an interview with the fame monster, we asked her the meaning of the first few lines of her track 'BAD ROMANCE'. We questioned if it was some sort of an encryption or a code which only she could break. Miss GAGA took off her shades, looked left and right and whispered that she was a scientist, and had recently found out the perfect equation for a really bad romance. She wanted the world to have a piece of her discovery and that is why the song.  

(RA) 2 + (AH) 3 + ROMA (1+MA) + (GA) 2 OOH (LA) 2 = BAD ROMANCE

Rumour has it that this equation has been copied by GAGA, and originally belongs to the mastermind ALBERT EINSTEIN, who is no longer alive to bring a claim against the infringement. 

Hot from our ASIAN desk, recent reports that HIMESH RESHAMIYA IS INTO BESTIALITY, has been confirmed. The singer who made us think 'What is under that cap?' has been under great emotional stress lately. My secret reporter has just brought in that the love of his life who happens to be a HIMALAYAN WOLF, just dumped him after a life long relationship, a strong reason as to why we all are not getting enough of his ' OWWWWWWS'. Our deepest condolences to the howler.  

                                                                

That is all for today. Great Friday and take care.

 

P.S- I HOPE NOONE SUES ME. I am just bored beyond recognition. Also never ever try teaching your Grandparents how to send and receive SMS and never ever tell them about YOUTUBE. You have been warned !! Also i am too lazy to give the links of these images. Google is GOD!

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