Sunday 16 October 2011


We all want to be dead famous and filthy rich. Ok stop!! Don’t give me that nasty look and say “I am happy the way I am!”. I know how you hold your hand shower like a mic in the bathroom and act like you are giving a live concert before thousands of your imaginary fans. So here is a guide as to how to become famous without actually being talented. If you are good for nothing, these are your easy ways to achieve fame.

1)   Start a rumour- Go to your local News Channel office and pour down your fake tale as to how a celebrity sexually assaulted you and threatened to kill you. For Boys, you just need to say how awesome the threesome with the celebrity and his girlfriend was. Simple! From local news to National news and you shall be famous! Choice of the celebrity matters. No one gives a damn if you had a threesome with Bobby Darling.

2)  Assassinate someone- Choose the most trending Celebrity or Politician in twitter and plan an assassination. The messier the assassination, the better. Google provides enough information as to how to assassinate someone, and if that isn’t enough, come to mama! Get famous for your notoriety.

3)     Be the Worst at something- Make a video of you doing something which you are pathetic at and upload it on YouTube. People like laughing at your misery and this is the sure path to success. Did you not watch the Fat man dance on the song MY HUMP by FERGIE? If not WATCH IT

4)    Get Naked- Spend some money and go watch a Match live from the stadium. During the half- time break, get naked and shock everyone by running across the stadium. Did anyone even know Poonam Pandey before her broken World Cup promise? Any publicity is good publicity.

5)    Blog- Don’t be a normal blogger like me. Be someone like Govind Tiwari or The Madrasan! You will be famous overnight! I might take a decade or so, to be half as famous as them. 

6)    Fast Unto Death- This is most IN thing right now. Take an issue haunting the society or the country you belong to, find the office of INDIA TV, sit before their office and fast. You are under the threat of dying but even if you do, you will be famous for atleast a day after that.

7)   Psychic Pet- You know the psychic Octopus, don’t you! Get yourself a pet and claim that it has psychic abilities. A simple dog or a cat won’t work. Buy yourself a Cobra or a Sea Lion. Even a Duck will do.

Now that I have enlightened you as to how to be famous overnight, there is no hindrance between you and your dream to get Famous. If you are actually thinking about incorporating any of the above mentioned Means to Success, then GOD SAVE YOU!

P.S- Lame post I know, but remember that I too have the right to be Silly. 
P.P.S-I once had 8 Espressos back to back to win a bet. I hallucinated for three days and everytime i peed the toilet smelled like Barista.
P.P.P.S- Meet RUBY, the Labrador.
Image Courtesy  for the first image-


  1. bwahahhhaahhaa

    what ideas you get my girl..!!!
    i loved Psychic Pet point..!!

    and the Lab...!!!!!
    sooooooooooooooooooo cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
    i want to dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


  2. 8 shots!! darn you are good. i once had coffee and a dessert with coffee beans and i was arghh-ing through out the next day! it was as bad as a hangover, may be worse...

    and silly is good...i wanted something silly today...and where can i buy that plant?

    and can i take the dog home :(

  3. The dog :D :D I love it!! It's so cute :) :)

    You have hilarious ideas :D Try them out, and if it works, and if you get famous, then let me know.
    We may then have a competition :P


    Now that's out of the way,
    Pee that smells like coffee, VERY interesting:P
    And I kinda like the bet as well, 8 espressos. You won, yeah? What?

    And who says you're a 'normal' blogger? huh? huh?:P

    'Get nakes' is my favorite option:P Not that I'd use it but I'd like a few people to;P

    And nope, I'm NOT giving you the I'm happy the way I am look and I completely agree with the philosophy:) really.

  5. And why is the post dated tomorrow when it's only today now? o_O

  6. hahah the list is super duper hit!!
    and even though I m not such a great dog lover, I m still going awwwwwwwwwwwwww over the lab!! :D :D

  7. Hey....ruby...what are you looking at?
    We are friends...of your dear friend ...Red handed...remember? :)

    Starting a rumor and blogging look like the safest option. :D

  8. hoohoohahahhaa....awesome is the word!! wt grt ideas!!
    btw...the puppy is shoooooo writing...cheers :))

  9. Shucks....and here I was thinking the easiest way to get famous these days is to go to NDTV and ask for a swayamvaar/swaayamstree ceremony to be conducted on yourself and get that telecast on national TV to the misery of Indians everywhere....:-(

  10. BUWAHAHA love it! :P We be the Queens of silly guides! XD

  11. Finally! I was waiting for you to return since a couple of days!
    Hooo hooo hahaha! What ideas Madamji?
    I loved the INDIA TV idea the most!Its the most 'Vella' news channel on the planet! to cover all the unimportant nonsense and grabbing attention!
    Loved the post...:D

  12. Toilet smelled like Barista?!!! Hahahahaha...what can be more ammusing and hilarious!

  13. Erm, With ideas as vibrant as these, I wonder why you aren't a sensational newspaper columnist yet?

    Had a ball reading this post.

  14. I am not sure if you have given the right kind of link in the first example of "blog". No offense but I only see a self obsessed champu there o_O. Well, nudity and hunger strike are sure ways to fame, I can't deny that. I don't even want to comment on the rest because I am unable to control my imagination.

    Stay Blessed ^_^

  15. Bahahaha you're hilarious!!!

    I can think of at least two dozen celebrities I'd like to sleep with. Can I sleep with them while blogging about my evil plan to assassinate my psychic pet?

    Oh, the ideas....

  16. hmm...I am right about you...You are weird and you are REALLY GOOD at it!! :D

  17. oh my godddddddddddddddddddd
    i saw The Govind Tiwari's blog nowwww
    i cant stop rolling on the floor..!!!
    where the hell did you dig out his blog from..!!!
    and that pic of his where he blinks his eyes..
    *tim tim*


    this is just insanely phunny maidammmm..!!!
    mwaaahss moi lurrve :P:P:P:D:D:D

  18. HAHAHAHA, you are fucking awesome.
    And, so are your posts. :D

    Can't take my eyes off them ;)


  19. hahahahahahaha... oh.. so true.. I tried that coffee thing too.. boy.. pee smelling like coffee...!!! :|

    btw... i tried the fast unto death trick with my mom long time back.. she took it seriously and dint cook for me.. I immediately called it off..!! *lucky me..unlucky them* :) :)

  20. will probably end up useing two or three of them :P

    Weakest LINK

  21. Thanks for not thinking I'm gross, lol....



  22. Very interesting read! Badnam hui to kya naam na hua!!

  23. Ha ha ha ha ha...! What a start to my Sunday. :) NO I hadn't seen the fat man dance. No I hadn't seen Govind Tiwari's blog. :d :P XD

    Now I need to watch back to back cartoons till I flush that dance out of my memory.

    Have a happy SUnday!! :)

    P.S: 8 Back to back.. phew.. thats a LOT of caffine. Take care.

  24. Oh I missed telling this- Ruby looks so adorable. I could adopt it right away.

  25. hey that was brilliant Idea, sexy seven ways to be famous

  26. LOL!
    Yes I desperately want to be famous and filthy rich...
    *Hmmm* Psychic pet sounds like a perfect idea.. 'coz i know my blog 'aint gonna get me anywhere...

    Is Ruby psychic???

  27. That was really hilarious..!! The PPS was THE hilarious one..!! I guess you are on the way to become famous with the way #5!! Great going RH..

  28. hahahahaaa.. LOL to all the 8 points... great read :)

  29. I'm in love...jumps with joy... RUBY RUBY RUBY :D ... awww adorable...I want, I want! ♥♥ .. you can give me a belated b'day gift ;)

    those points are so crazy, but people actually use them to get all stupid...the MDRASAN's post had got so many comments, but somehow I thought that wasn't the right way to shun your anger based on certain religion issues.. hah! whatever, her blog :P ..

    Your blog is NOT ordinary, NA-UH... you are simply amazing and I always wait for your posts... haha and 8 espressos... your on a roll ;) .. hehe

  30. I don't know if you have heard about this. David Mark Chapman assassinated John Lennnon because he wanted to get famous. While Lennon and Yoko were getting home one fine December morning, Mr Chapman shot him from the back 4 times. He was sentenced to life imprisonment and as of 2011, is still in the jail.

  31. @Meoww- She really is cute isnt it? :D Nd did you fall in eternal Love with Govind Tiwari?Dont you dare! He is forever mine. My LOU he is!
    @BluntBlogger- Nothing else has given me that kind f a hangover till date! Ruby really is cuteeee!!!
    @Philo- Me dont like shortcuts. i will take the path less trodden by :D
    @PeeVee- Ruby is a celebrity is guess :D. Man seriously it was like barista in my bathroom :P. It was kind f a dare, i do tht and my friend will have to do sumthing else. My blogger is fucked up!
    @Maithili- thankyou maithili!! He really makes me go awwwww
    @Kunal- Ruby is trying out her psychic skills...trying to hypnotize you :P
    @Chikki- Welcome to my foolish blog my Lady!
    @Rahul- If by the age of 27 I am unmarried, i am going to do tht! Yes! Thanks for the idea sirjeeee!
    @Dawnzhang- Hi5 on tht my love :D
    @Manju- Welcome welcome humare is chotte se blog mein :P. India Tv really is a vella channel!!
    @Atrocious Scribblings- The toxic thoughts inside my ugly head might bring the whole news paper agency down! :P
    @The Guy In The Mirror- That guy got famous for his absurdity!! Thousands of hits on his blog in just one night :P
    @I'm Jill Deane- How can you blog and sleep with them :P... Take it one step at a time :P
    @Akila Venkat- Being weird is gooood :P
    @Poulomi- That was cute of you to say :). You have an epic blog too!
    @Superrnickk- I would never try fasting :( My tummy and my tastebuds are such traitors!!! :p
    @Rachit- haha thnks!
    @Rahul Bhatia- wahi to! any publicity is good publicity :D
    @Sameera- The fat man dances so secudtively! I wish i could coochy coo with him :P. Okie i want to puke now!
    @Bharathi- Sexy only :D
    @The Girl At First Avenue- u have an awesome blog missy and u are not a normal blogger. Ruby thinks she is psychic, the way she is trying to hypnotize thru her luks
    @Cartic- I am not awesome enuff to get famous tht way. I will have to try the other steps :P
    @Anand-7 points :) Thankyou!!!
    @Confused soul- OMG! You are so cute and bubbly! Lets dance around, shall we? :D I am still not as awesome as the above mentioned bloggers :(
    @Arun John- Oh i did know tht he killed to achieve fame, but had no clue he is still in there. Thought he would have been dead or something!!

  32. oops, whatte stupid typo... hehehee :)

  33. Wretched Madrasan. I envy her so fucking much! :O
    And Laal, meri Laal, you're not any normal blogger. You're one of my favourites and that's huge HAAHAA! Heights of narcissism again.
    And 3 was amazing. Weirdos are such weirdos I saw a girl upload a video of a camera fitted in her butt to catch how many people stare. *swoons* We heard of Poonam Pandey losers, and now we've got them losers too.
    And get on a reality show. That should be there too :D

  34. Love your "silly" post!
    The ideas are fantastic... speacially the fact that each one of them reeks of sarcasm towards people who are 'famous' these days.
    Oh I so love this place here.

    As for the bet.... wow.. would love to see what so much cofee does to me.

    And I so so so want the pup..... Petting it is the only thing I can think of right now!

  35. OMG!!! Govind can spare me the fame then, ...and the post was funnnyyy
    and did i read 8 expressos back to back...u got to be kidding me.!!

  36. or be infamously big mouth, like rakhi sawant??

    And poonam pandey just threats to get naked

  37. Hahahahahahahaaa.. You should be writing a political satire column for The Hindu or something. Hilarious this one was :))))))))

  38. Ruby is soooo cute.. And it is actually standing still and posing for the film, like how we do for a passport size photo. ADORABLE!!!
    On the post.. hahhahahaahahah.. But very true. Everyone and anyone can be famous in a fortnight. All you have to do is think of out of the box ideas and voila, you would be on the idiot box in no time!!

  39. Hahhahahahahhah

    and hahahahha again and again

    But i dont want to be famous this way!!! :|
    and yes agree with are my favorite blogger :D and i think you are famous :D

  40. I can get over how much you fish for compliments red!!! I'll make an award, 'THE AWESOMEST WEIRD BLOGGER' ever and give you one ok :P....I hadn't heard about that Tiwari guy till now, OMG...what is that...pure torture to the eyes, ears and soul...sorry he is your lou right so ok he is also weirdly awesome did you manage to get Ruby to be that still...8 long years and I'm still to get a dog who would just stop moving for a sec while he/she is posing.

  41. I think your exams are bringing out a more creative you and that explains the frequent updates here :D I know ...I could do anything but 2 study the day before the exam:D
    By the way, cute dog.

  42. lol..
    from the start i was looking..where is fast!!!!!
    loved it :)

    stay connected!!!
    its me!!!sharan :)

  43. Ah.. I just love that dog.
    And Govind tiwari- he is an SEO genius. Apparently they say he would have made 15 lakh on that day if he had got enough ads in his page :O

  44. Haha:D
    What ideas :P
    And i saw govind tiwaris blog for the first time today and im shocked :O
    Gosh!!! Govind tiwari is all over the place :O

    P.s- The dog is super cute<3

  45. Psychic pet??? And dogs won't do? Come here then, am already feeling so silly now, lets go snake hunting:P And the lab looks just ossome girl! Except the getting naked idea, everything else suits me fine:PP Great rib tickling post, as usual!

  46. aww he is sooo cute .. i have a Labrador too :)

  47. *puts the cute puppy face out of her mind*

    This is pretty hilarious. Mine is the assassinate someone. :P But I have a long list :P So it sucks. :P

    Jail awaits me :P
    As always red, superbly hilarious. I tried writing funny number of times, just doesnt work. :) Love!

    P.s I want that puppy!!!!!!!!!!!! :P

  48. 1) Start a rumour - Will surely work.. Sometimes, i feel the media ppl are already doing all this for is.. :P
    2) Assassinate someone - Ohhh... And remain alive for the rest of our lives ?? :D
    3) Be the Worst at something - Now this is something we all can do...
    4) Get Naked - Will be tough for guys... no one has set a standard so far...
    5) Blog - Will take lots of time for me.. :)
    6) Fast Unto Death - IN thing now !! But need political support and contacts..
    7) Psychic Pet - I never thought of this.. But seriously, a cool idea !!

  49. That is such a cute pup. Awww.
    The P.P.S would have made me trolling on the floor laughing my ass out right now if I hadnt done that earlier with the tweet already.

    And girl, I love your guides and steps. :D

  50. ha ha ha... Nice one.Esp Liked the Psychic pet one..

  51. LOL...I think Poonam Pandey read your post, she is following your tip no. 4...

  52. A) For Boys, you just need to say how awesome the threesome with the celebrity and his girlfriend was.

    plz note that normal straight guys would NEVER have a threesome in which there are 2 males.

    B) nice post

    C) doesnt it seem like that labrador is doing a Britisher's impression. "My good man Jeeves, would you be kind enough to scratch my belly i'd say?"

  53. shit who the hell is that Govind Tiwari??? Ravi Kishen and Manoj Tiwari have tough competition man.

  54. Uff!! What re?! You forgot one of the most important things- make a sex tape! :P
    Or maybe that comes under no.3. :/

  55. Did u forget abot Sex videos..?? Look at Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian.. They are bloody famous and Fcuking rich..;p

    I'm planning to send a hoax mail to CBI dat I'm gonna blow up something and turn up on April 1st sporting a April Fool t-shirt on that place. And I vil write abot it on my blog. Now hows dat for an idea..;-)

  56. Amazing post! But I hate you! You made me open that 'govind tiwari' ki link! It was pure torture! How could you do this to us? We read all your blogs regularly, why this punishment?? :P

  57. And woman, if I get nightmares featuring Govind-so-good-looking-and-subtle-Tiwari tonight, I swear, I'll hunt you down and kill you. :/

  58. LMAO....
    good for nothing??? a rath-yatra also sounds good :)


  59. and you call this a lame god, modesty thy name is Red:-)

    loved the list-ekdum bang on hain and if i was half as desperate as Rakhi ji, I would be kissing your feet for these mantras...and since i am not, flying kisses would do?

    and washroom smelling like Barista-hmmm....wondering if that was a good thing or a bad thing;-)
    hilarious n great post!
    makes us wanna say again n again-gimme Red!:-)

  60. *takes hurried notes and looks behind her back* Haha. LOVED the post. Awesomeness this is. I heard about Poonam Pandey just today. And also checked out Govind's blog some time in the morning. Lovely stuff no? Hehe. Poor thing.


    Damn! That Govind Tiwari...he is mind blowing. And that song 'Govind Tiwari dil ka bhola hai' Whoa...what could be better than that song.
    I have bookmarked it.

    And even I have a Labrador. He is 7 months ols and his name is FRODO. *the apple of my eye* ^_^

    P.S: Reading your posts is sooooo fun. I can never dare to miss them.

  62. Awesome once again from u gal..!! luved every bit of it..!!! but temme 1 thing, who th fuck is tht Tiwari..? I cudn't stop myslf 4m laughin out loud in office by having a look at his blog..!! Th video "My Hump", everyone along wit me in office laughed out loud..!!! U rock gal..!!!

  63. Oh, you floor me with you wit *yes, I would rather you not think this was lame*!!! :D :D I would consider getting a Psychic Pet :P :D

    PS: RUBY=RED was the first thought that crossed my mind...SO FREAKIN' CUTE!!! :D

    PPS: Love Ya!!! :D *Hugs* *I wanted you to feel superrrr happy, somehow!*

  64. Only u can come up with such ideas... :D And I love love love the last pic...I love dogs!!

  65. :) I like the ways you have said on getting famous..
    If you work in IT field then there is anothr way or getting famous, deletea cusotmers database and You are famouse for ever in ur office he he he :)

    made me laugh the points .. I doubt if me getting naked will make me famous though... he he he


  66. This is like a Bible for aspiring bloggers like me. And are by any chance suggesting in point 2 that assassinating you is an option as well?

  67. There are million silly acts we are so desperate to do once in our life time but moral/social/legal etc terms stop us, may be for our own benefits.
    Really love thy post today !
    The picture of this dog reminds me of my own pet i lost a few months back.

  68. haha love this!

  69. Roflmao thoroughly enjoyed the tips :D

    woho the lab seem to be cuter than my PUG :D I always wished to have a lab :)


  70. You are super cool. Your posts make me laugh all the time and keep me hooked onto them till the end. Super awesome. :) Hahahaah.

    <3ed the POST. omg.

    Your ideas are out of this world.


  71. You are not a Normal Blogger !!!!!!just great!!!


Spit It Out I Say !!!