I have been wanting to write this for a very long time but never got the needed kick to type this down. I actually even forgot about this until THE MADRASAN popped in with her controversial letter to a Delhi boy who now wants to kill Mark Zukerberg for the existence of Facebook and its status updates.
Since I am a woman and that too a college bunking one, I have a number of issues with you which I would like to bring to your knowledge. I know you will just laugh it off and if you do, I wouldn’t blame you because a majority of you are pathetically perverted like that. I would like to ask the beer loving soul of yours certain questions which have kept me perturbed for long.
The Genuine Queries-# There is something called Getting Bored. Just like the others of my gender and species, I too have Boobs and an ass to follow. I know you spend a lot of time browsing through images of topless and butt showing females online, but what I don’t understand is how you get amused by the so called melons rather than the face of even a properly draped woman?
# Some of your gang members smirk at me every time I walk down the streets sipping on my favourite ice candy. How can you possibly stoop low enough to think so perverted? A Lollipop wouldn’t be named that way if I were to chew it like a toffee. Things have got so out of hand that I think twice before ordering a Cornetto when your fellow beings are around. You can’t possibly expect me to bite the ice-cream off. Can you?
# You crave for a woman who is modern in a slutty way, outgoing enough to be mistaken as a whore. You forsake the innocent soul for the provocative body cover. But when it comes to settling down, you prefer the homely, traditional woman who is skilled in the culinary arts, ignoring the true bitch residing in her. Why so?
# You expect us to be understanding and listen to your irrational babbles when you return home drunk and callous. We too expect you to tolerate us when we are fighting our PMS every month. Quotes like “Never believe anything which bleeds for five days and still doesn’t die” are just not cool for us to laugh at. We are made that way. What is so gross about that?
# Loosing your virginity is like a milestone achievement for you and the more women you have slept with, the more ‘THE MAN’ you are among your groupies. It’s definitely not the same for us here, atleast in India. But how can you possibly expect your wife to be a virgin when you aren’t? Many husbands might be cursing you for taking their wives virginity. Why don’t you look at it that way?
# Men are supposed to be hairy (not in a Gorilla way) and men are supposed to manly. Why do I catch half your species squealing as they get their eyebrows done and chest waxed? I shudder when I realize that I am the only woman in the unisex salon? I have nothing against you getting a manicure or a pedicure since they show your love for hygiene, but ripping out your chest hair? Why my boy why?
I can go on and on and this letter can get as intolerable as Aishwarya Rai’s giggle. If you do not think that this letter applies to you, I request you to ignore the content and pass it on to the guy sitting next to you. Maybe he might relate to this.
The Girl you whistled at yesterday evening.