Thursday 8 September 2011


Missed my lists? No? Atleast I did, furtively a lot! I am no relationship expert when I write this, nor am I an amateur to ignore this topic. More than half of the people I know are in relationships, different species of it. I just need to ask them "So how are u and Mr. X doing and they all give me a different version of love" .I have also noticed that this LOVE changes with time and so does their version of it. From ‘So much in love’ to ‘He and me need different things from life’ to ‘I am seeing someone else’, I have seen it all. So I thought why not jot down the different kinds of relationships I see around me.

And The List Begins

1)      The Coochycoo one- They are the kinds who sit on the same side of the table always, irrespective of the fact that they make the friends who happen to be in their company uncomfortable. They get all mushy and starry eyed because for them love is a fairytale. You can call them the beginners and you can see the Public display of affection decrease with time. They could be a fling or just an experience in the big bag of life.

2)      The Married souls- I call them this, not because they are married but because they behave like perfect couples. They know everything there is to know about each other, or they like to believe that way. They seem perfect in everyone’s eyes. Not too romantic but when it’s needed, a twinkle in the eye or a little smile passes the message. I would like to see them be together for life, but looking at the relationships around me, majority hit rock bottom due to many issues like ‘ Family Priorities’, ‘ Not in love anymore’ etc. But some do survive and I would love to see that happen.

3)       The Hush Hush ones- They could be friends turned lovers, classmates or colleagues at work.  They are committed but for reasons reasonable enough for them, they keep it a secret. Even when their close friends are smart enough to make out what’s going on and are frank enough to ask, these couples will never reveal the truth. I read this somewhere ‘If you have to keep your relationship a secret, why be in one’. 

4)      The Practical- They look like the perfect couple. A friend, a lover, a protector, they can be whatever their lover needs from them. They are the ones who make you go “I wish I had someone like that”. But when you enquire about their future together, they say “Love cannot feed you for life. If we both manage to get jobs good enough to live together happily without any compromises or blaming each other, and if we still love each other they way we do now, then we would get married". You frown at that answer, but for them that makes perfect sense.

5)      The Open Hearts- They define what they have for each other as ‘Love’ but that doesn’t stop them from looking for better options. The Open relationship could be one sided without the other partner being aware of it, or it could be a mutual decision. I am noone to comment but I am strongly against this kind. 

6)      The Mysterious kinds- They have no definition and they try to hide away from the questions you throw at them regarding their status. They are not JUST FRIENDS and nor are they GOING AROUND. They get jealous when the other smiles to an opposite sex or gets too friendly with them. They care enough about each other to be called MADLY IN LOVE, but they do not define it and are happy exploring as to what it really is. Time gets the privilege to define it and I respect that. 

7)      The On & Offs- These are common to find. One day they are cuddling in each others arms and the next day they are punching each other in a mad frenzy and you have to pull them off each other lest one of them dies. The next day you see them love kissed again. So whenever someone in this kind of relationship comes to me and says "I broke up with him. He is such a nincompoop", I smile without looking at her and say "I hope you say the same tomorrow" 

If you happen to know some more kinds of Relationships, please do write them down on the comment box. I would love to read. 


P.S- Long post isn’t it? Sorry!
P.P.S- Being chased by a street dog is awesome no? Fuck!!!


  1. Haahahahaha the last category is SOOO common it sucks -__-
    Loved the list!
    And u were chased by a dog? Oww must have sucked. U fine?

  2. I am sure you must have heard of long distance relationships

    3 out of 4 of my friends are onto it

    They are not strictly speaking miles apart, but yes they don't see each other every other day. As to their future, no Idea. They partially fall into the category of "Practical ones" but there is little hope that they will survive if ever there comes a time to "follow different paths"

    beautiful post, stay blessed ^_^

  3. rofl..!!! True words spoken..!!! luved it.. Keep writing..

  4. I WAS no.1:P Not anymore though. Hopefully not ;D
    And I don't know what type I have moved into.

    Good post, as usual.

    P.S: Are you in the mysterious kind, by any chance?? ;)

  5. @Blahblaholic- HEH...BEAR HUGS TO YOU!
    @shahshank sapre- Oh yes!!How cud i forget...but umbut i took just the emotional quotient into consideration...but thanks for reading this!Much respect!
    @Raghu- Thankyou sire!
    @Priyanka- hehe...!I am not into the mysterious one....i am in a very defined one :D.Love to you my girl!

  6. Nice post, would serve as a path marker to us singles. Off late all I seem to be seeing around me are the category 1's.

    Happy Onam ,treat yourself to some lip smacking Payasam.

    ROFL, Dog chased you? For how long ???

  7. haha...LOL!
    I can't stand the first category.. It makes me soooooo uncomfortable.
    Luckily I was never in that category... I think we directly jumped to #2 and #4... mixture of both!

    Do you fall under any of these?

  8. Please, please don't forget best friends of the same sex. I have them all over my facebook list. They are not really in a relationship but their facebook relationship status says something like : "Asha is in an open relationship with Usha". And they blow kisses and have hearts all over their profiles, calling each other "jaan" and "love". Sigh, it bothers me sometimes! :\ And rofl, agree with you. There are also, don't be offended, but the lusty ones. They are only together when the feel the urgent need to kiss and make out otherwise tu kon and mei kon! :D

  9. Believe me in married souls, there is a sub-category. This category is full of stupid people. One type which I call 'touchy muchy'. In every party, they will not let air pass between them(sit so closely). During trips with friends, they will have pictures lifting and sitting in laps and what not.

    Nice post, enjoyed reading it...:)

  10. @Atrocious Scribblings- You laugh at me being chased by the dog???Y blame you..even my mother did :(...for a min or two thts all :PHappy Onam to you too!
    @TheGirlatFirstAvenue- Practical type you must say.. he is everything i want...
    @DawnZhang- Oooh let me tell you a secret..thr is someone i know who does the same and actually reads this shhhh! :D...lusty kinds..yeh!I knowtht type too!
    @Saru Singhal- Hahahah yeh yeh yeh!The coochycoo type are thr in all the other categories!!

  11. Hahahaha! Good observation :D You wouldn't believe this, but 32 people out of my 66 students class are couples! Half of whom fall under the "coochycoo" category. Sigh! And I'm yet to meet "The married souls" kind. But for the romantic in me, I'm hoping that they do exist! :D

  12. :) seriously missed you girl!!
    I m don't know which category I figure in :( does that make me lucky??
    You should include the "always fighting" couples too!! They are a majority I tell you!!

  13. hey Genius.. great post.. loved the classification.. however you missed one..
    maybe because you never had to face one..!! POOR YOU..!! ( Read LUCKY YOU..!!!!)

    Well.. i feel there is another class... the disaster types.. honestly they are individuals from each of the above mentioned group in love.. like a mix n match.. or a MISMATCH (that sounded better). i wonder what got them in love with each other in first place..?? (no wait.. its that "opposites attract" crap) they are always complaining how the other is not what they expected in life but cant just get out of the relationship either.. they stay in.. and make the lives of the people around a living HELL..!!!!! ( you know.. we end up acting as the complaint box, tissues box, etc etc box and are responsible for them to patch up.. so that they can leave you alone...!!)

    Am sorry for such a long comment.. but i just got carried away..!!!
    Sorry..!! :)

    happy Onam :)

  14. i totally hate the coochiiiiicoooo ones who sit on the same side of the table >:< go find a fucking room!!

    you have quite a way to write humble-bee-happy posts :)

  15. do you think this is funny? Are you trying to judge what'e love between two souls. And categorizing someone's innocent feelings into cliched categories. Is it that simple, the feelings? Ok, that's enough. I killed it. You are awesome and I totally adore you.


  16. :D

    I've witnessed all the above types of relationships you listed above. And even a few more. Though, I can't recall all those immediately, but in addition to your list, I've seen...

    8) The Strangers- These are the ones who, at some point in their lives, have proposed/accepted their feelings for each other. And in due course have changed their status to 'committed'. But that's where the interaction ends. Not that they are seeing anyone else, but they are so busy in their professional lives that they may even pop the "Do I know you ?" to each other in a hurry.

    9) The Engaged- These are the official beneficiaries of the 'arranged-marriage' system in Indian society. Never seen around with their 'to be', but can easily be spotted whispering into their phones in some corner at a friend's party, away from all the excitement. Even the most boring of conversations cannot erase the cheshire-cat-grin on their faces.

    10) The Ex's- Those broken hearted... dumped and scorned souls, who don't mince any words to show their hatred towards their 'had been'. But are still so much in love with the ex, as is evident by the cringed face as their see their 'ex' so much as look at someone else in their presence. Though not officially, but they still are in a relationship.

    :D I've personally seen the above types of relationships as well. Don't know if they qualify for your list though. :-)

    Did you read my own take on relationships yet ?

    P.S. So sorry for the long (huge !) comment. :P

  17. And by the way, why were you chased by a street dog ? Did you say anything to offend it ?

    Street dogs are very friendly creatures. And very sensible too. :D

  18. I'm afraid i have seen loads of the last type:P That includes me too;) Is there another variety? No, I don't think so!!! Gr8 post Redhanded. Wish u a Happy Onam:)

  19. another list...May be one day u can make a list of all ur lists.... cool post:)

  20. @Loony- Hhaha..all the couples in my batch broke up..or shud i say broke up but still coochycooing?? :P
    @Maithili- Fighting is cute no?Unless they make us a part of it!
    @Supernickkkkk- Hhahah i loved your comment..and me genius!!Me blushing sire!MISMATCH category are soo evident everywhr...except them everyone knows thr relationship is a biiig bullshit.
    @Chintan- Heeey thankyou soo much!Coochycoo types are soo...ugghh!
    @Aakash- Okie i am doing the victory dance!!Finaaalyy i am adored!
    @Shobhit- I love long comments..who doesnt?and all those category you told are evetrywhr around me!Loved it...and i did not say anything to the dog...i have a way with animals!A monkey ones slapped me!
    @CloudNine- heyyy Happy Onam to you and a bearhug!Thankyou for reading.
    @Partha- Maybe i will :) Thanks!

  21. Haha! Apt categories.

    You know what I do when the Coochi-Coochi-Co types starts betraying my vision? I start video taping them.
    Some cuss words and then they bring their PDA to a halt.

  22. I used to fall into the 2nd category in my previous relationship. It was perfection personified. Maybe that's why I couldn't take it anymore. :/ We hardly even used to fight. But when it ended, it was World War III.

    Right now... well, I don't really know. I guess you can loosely put it in number 7. Each time we fight, like four times a week, we say 'This is it!! I'm sick and tired of this! We're over!!' and hang up the phone. Then 10 minutes later, call back and say 'Get lost, I love you'. "Where will I go. You're stuck with me, so better get used to it." :/

    I guess one more category can be "The comfortable ones". You knwo, the ones who've been together so long (or just clicked magically) that they've reached a comfort level of their own. They've got their own set of code words and signs, they have their own little world set up. But at the same time, they're not insecure if they don't talk to each other 50 times a day or say 'I love you' every half an hour, they don't get insanely jealous if their partner speaks to someone of the opposite sex, because they know it's nothing more than a casual conversation. They're very secure and sure about their relationship, even if they fight. I fall a little bit into this category, so I know what it feels like. :)

    By the way, what category do you fall into? :)

  23. Okay get ready to hate me. Without a doubt currently I'm one of the mysterious ones. You get it enough from my posts I guess. But you know what, it works perfectly well for us. Knowing that you are in love but not able to go ahead due to self doubts is very common. Why get into something and ruin it when the nameless relationship is doing wonders. The very fact that we love each other and are there for each others makes it more beautiful.

    When things are clear there is no room for jealousy. Its like what Lily and Marshall from HIMYM have. Its a very delicate balance, but if you get it right you can beat any love category in the world :)

  24. I don't fit in any of these categories. :(
    But the classification is great. And loved your description of each category.

    The coochy coos are all around. The married souls seem to be around a lot. The hush hush ones are, how do i put this, umm... hushed. :p.The practical ones make me frown. The open hearts bug me. The mysterious ones seem idiotic to me. The on and off ones just don't know what love is and what they want.

  25. Oh wow lol there are so many different kinds of relationship huh? :D :D and here i thought there are two types of relationships in the world. The straight and the not so straight. ;)

  26. @Prateek-Videotaping!!hahahahha...thankyou so much for the idea!
    @Spaceman Spiff- Hey whr r is love r are fights!I am just like i can totally understand.nd without fights thr really is no fun.Call me a bitch but i feel loved when i fight and then he argues back and then we dont talk and then wthe cute words during patch up follows!How i love tht part :P I am Number 4
    @Soumya- Why should i hate you missy?I wrote that i totally respect the mysterious kinds...I was ones in it too...everyone goes through it and sometimes likes to be that way...Love you for being so open in your posts and you are awesome!
    @Jahnvi- Do tell which category you fall into.I want to know :D..Thankyou soo much for reading.
    @Abhishek Ranjith- That was a real funny way to put it.Thankyou!

  27. Wow.. this was one intelligent post! i realised, all possible relationships, fall under either of the above category.. I cudn't thhink of more!!
    ok what about people who could relate with more than one of the above??
    :D :D :D

    BTW, the dog bit you?? Poor _ O _.. (Fill in the blanks! ;))

    Super duper amazing psot!!

    loved it!!

  28. now that was a very intelligent and Informative post..enjoyed it...and it made me wonder where does my relationship fall!? as its a mixture of married and practical category em moving it to the wedding zone!:)

  29. @Metagravity- How i hate you :P.No the dog was lucky enough to not bite me :P.Thankyou for reading miss :)
    @Mishi- Wow Wow that is soemthing i wanted to read..

  30. Hahaha...Another take ;)

    "we are made for each other' types
    "we are made for each other unless we find someone better" types
    "we are made for each other only as long as we wish" types
    "we are made for each other only as long as either of us wish" types
    "we are made for each other but do not tell any one" types
    "we are made for each other ..but only sometimes" types

  31. i'd rather fall into a relationship to see which category i fit into...chalo koi bahana to mila committed hone ka :P


  32. @Kunal- I loved your classifications..pwhaha hilarious!Thanks!
    @Subtlescribbler- Now you really do have a BAHANA! :P

  33. still figuring out in which we will fit into.. :D :D loved the post!! :D :D but after every 6 months when I meet him we definitely become the coochycoo ones :D :D

  34. Hahaha... good post. You pretty much covered it all. My previous relation could be categorized under point 2 (the tag of the perfect couple is soo overbearing at times, I tell u) but then eventually I fell in love with someone else in the meantime and thankfully it all fell apart in between. Big story.

    Good one. As always, keep writing.

  35. hey thts a nice classification............u can also add a category for the dreamers who see the perfect couples and sigh for one tooo :P

  36. wow!! that was some post! enjoyed reading it, and kinda lived through most of these kinds!! good one!

  37. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...wasnt this idea reserved for me????? :D

    gud one. fun read. btw....ur bday is 11th or 10th??

    In case its 10th, wish u a very happy bday, IN case its 11th, happy bday in advance :)


  38. @Ananya- Aww..i hope the distance vanishes!
    @Musings of a Troubled Mind- I see an epic story thr!!Thanks for reading :D
    @Madhuri-hahahaha good one!Lol
    @Nirvana- Thankyou so much for reading.
    @Kalpak- Who told u my bday is on 10th or 11th :O..I shall post on that day and you shall know :P. Thanks !

  39. Why dont you try reading this?

    It will help a lot of people understand how it is like to be in love with 2 people at the same time

  40. I have absolutely no clue which one I am in :P will confer and let you know!! :P

    But you got them so right!! :D I love :D

  41. @Musings of a Troubled Mind- I read and loved it. Commeneted.
    @Srinidhi- Thanks mate!

  42. Passed from number 1 to The Married Souls :)
    but yes, i wouldn't lie, we do act like the last ones too :/ at times. He's really irritating at times BUT he's mine <3

    so yeah, works out :)

    Nice write up, hon.
    Love xoxo

  43. ha ders this "We loved, we are loving and we will always keep loving, but we cant be together" type. I have seen too much of dem..

    And on an entirely different but not unrelated note. How come almost evryone who have commented are in a relationship..

    I think Akon sang the song "Lonely" just for me...:/

  44. I am so in love with your post! :D
    Well, the categories change with time. In the beginning a couple is so in love, but then.. at a point a distance does come up between them!

    The last one is indeed common, but then it's funny :D I think I lie in the last one :P I'm always bugging my friends about who things go wrong between me and my guy, but then the next day, it's all fine :P

    Great post :)

  45. ..Might I suggest the "Brandalina" couple. The most popular guy and girl in school/college who HAVE to be together..

    Dog chase huh.. yup we all been there.. the trick is to turn around and run toward him, yelling...

  46. as always _______(insert ur name) gets it right, i know some of these douche bag I AM COMMITTED people who keep shoving their relationship crap up your nose.makes you wonder why would some 1 even bother going out with them

  47. I totally go with the comment above...the college beauty and the most popular guy who SHOULD be together :D Loved the ones...u r so practical and what an observation ! genius!

  48. Hayeeee! I LOVED THIS POST. Though you didn't sound much sarcastic as i would have cause i just don't believe in this love and drama but you know what i think? I think that as long as your don't get into a relationship officially and keep the things simple and live the moment fully, it's alright. I may sound like a total lame but seriously, love isn't something that happen to every other person in clicks. It hasn't happened to be for a long time and yet i am the happiest person alive cause i just love being single and all independent (Yeah, i can't stand up and bring a glass of water for myself without my brothers, that dependent i am :P) but you get me no? :p

    All the kinds were cool and the kind i hate, i don't which one they fall into is sissy kind. Lovers being all lovey dovey birds, talking in sh-language, stupid teddy bears in gifts and explicit show of love all the time. It gets awkward and amusing at the same time. :P

    I didn't want to sound offensive but even if i have, don't mind please. I am just not so hypothetical when it comes to love shove. ;P

  49. @Nostalgic- He is yours...isnt tht all tht matters ? :)Love to you too angel!
    @Kanthu-hahaha nonono i dont think u r alone.Thr are around five to six singles who commented here.
    @Phil- hhehe cute comment!Thanks for liking this post :)
    @Samarth- Coming to think about it...i do know someone in tht category...u r smart :P
    @Maniac.Hunter- totally agree sirjee!
    @Anita- hahah thanyou!Much Love!
    @KN- Take a deeeeeeeeeeeep breath and calm down :P. U are just right about love. Its foolish but its worth it sometimes :)

  50. Wow !! You are a relationship expert !! Great post, loved it..

  51. I Love your lists!! :D I have never been in a relationship or so I say, now that you have categorized - I might have been the mysterious or the on off kinds... :| However, this made me laugh and think at the same time. You are a great writer! :D :D

  52. I love this post..gosh..i have seen all the types and you're so cool :):)

  53. and you cover them all...if only they had stayed more covered to miss the genius's keen eye of observation...and the on n off waalas are so irritating-u never know when to say what to them as situations change before you know!:-)

  54. @Binu Thomas- HHahahah thanks man!
    @MSM- Mwah!!I am forcing it on you!Thanky ou sooo much!
    @the other side of me- Much love to you!!Thanks!
    @suruchi- hahahah that was a very cute comment!Thanks you my girl!

  55. Nice .. Funny take on the types of relationships. I swear I have seen most of these types in college. Very few actually stayed together long enough to get married.

    I'm married for 7 years now, and category 2 is the closest that I can be . It is not an exact match , because becoming good soul mates is a gradual process and not instantaneous..

  56. And what about a no named relationship of more then 10 years. School, then college, then work. No contact broken. there were other people, on n off. But one thing, this connection, remained constant. And still, we both are confused who we are to each other. But we both know each other best. Without doubt. So, I am afraid, some relationships can never be classified.

  57. I must confess, in my case it is Hush-hush-turned-Coochycoo-turned-comfortable-ones and I love it!!


Spit It Out I Say !!!