Monday 19 September 2011


Have you seen the movie ALIEN v PREDATOR ? Did you notice the part where the predator kills the alien and then marks his face with the alien blood and calls it a victory mark? I have one such victory mark. No I did not kill any one-eyed-long-necked alien, but I successfully overpowered my brother and he gave me the (victorious) blood clot just below my collar bone.

I was switching from channel after channel on the TV when my brother who at the age of 14 (8 yrs difference) is twice my height, with bones which can be used as a hockey stick, comes and dumps himself on the couch beside me. He pokes me on my shoulder , gives a dirty grin and says “Guess what. I made a profile for Amma and sent request to all your friends”. I could feel the blood in my veins boiling and throbbing against the walls to just burst open. I replied “How dare you do such a thing Varun?”. He smirked as retorted “Don’t worry! I am not jobless enough to do something like that”.

I was back to my normal meditating soul and even gave him the remote to watch ‘RATAN KA RISHTA’ (wtf!!!), when he said.

You never know when I become jobless and actually send a request to all your friends. You cant even raise a finger against me

My eyes became all Green and Red and then we had a conversation which went something like this

Me-     You boy!Dont you dare!
Varun- Oh please! What you gonna do eh?
Me-      I will literally take the life out of your life. Will make your life a living hell.
Varun- Bwahah! I am now taller than you and you cannot do anything to me.

Suddenly out of no where, he caught hold of my wrists and started twisting my hand. I was shocked since this was the first time he started the attack. It was always me and I blame his hormonal change for such an act. I caught hold of his hair from my left hand and started pulling it. He tried to break free and in that process sat on my lap still holding and twisting my hand and then out of nowhere gave me a big blow just below my collar bone with his elbow. My anger made me ignore the pain. I continued to curse him and pulling his hair. My Grandmother started screaming and calling my mother, who was busy painting her nails and seemed least bothered. She was used to this. Because of the interference of my grandmother and considering her screaming at such a high pitch at the age of 76, Varun let go of my hand and in return I let his hair remain on his scalp. But the abuses continued.

Varun- You are the worst person alive in this planet. Why don’t you shift your weight    to some place like Antartica?
Me- Shut up and do me a favour by keeping your buck teeth hidden behind your lips.
Varun- Look! You have turned all red. Gonna cry eh little girl?
Me-      Lets see who cries. Go to Amma and hide under her dupatta.
Varun- I am going upstairs just because you are so ugly to be even looked at.
Me-      Make sure you close the door as you cry. Gods greatest tragedy!!!

He walked away and after some time my mother came down and told me that he is crying. The joy the bitch in me got. I shouted on top of my voice
Look who is the woman in the house. Cry Baby Cry!!”

I laughed and spoke to myself in absolute joy and made my way to the bathroom. I stood before the mirror and pulled my top a bit down to look at my chest. The starting stage of three big blood clots right below my collar bone. The boy is growing up and I cannot anymore tame him.

I heard him talk to his friend the other day on phone. He said “Dude! The Britisher is back in town to take over India.” Obviously I know who was the Britisher here and who was India.

P.S- I just gave away my age in this post. *Gulps*. My next visit home will be on Nov 6. Till then India is at peace.
P.P.S- A junior in College just updated his Facebook status as “ YAY! Finally today I am going to trim my armpit hair. It was starting to show outside my shirt sleeve.Al-Qaeda might be hiding inside.


  1. I wonder, how many people went through the whole post again when they read "P.S." :P

    Hope peace remains between India and England :D

    Stay Blessed ^_^

  2. LOL...He looks so innocent and adorable. And, look at the message on his T...Enjoyed reading it. Will share it with my younger brother...:)

  3. :D Its a typical scene out of very household where siblings exist.Mark my words, the intensity of the fights you both have now will be directly proportional to the protectiveness and care he will give you later on in life.

    Next time you feel a fight is getting out of hand, try the atrocious option, give him a nice tight hug and See how he reacts.

  4. Aahaa ! reading the conversation between you and your bro, just wanna say 4 words for you "kahaani ghar ghar ki " :P

    the P.P.S is so funny :D

    Take care !

  5. Extremely funny post... And I can totally relate to it.. Same was the case with me and my sis... Not anymore though :)

  6. hahahhahahhahaha... :) :)
    that was nostalgic... it was like hoping into a train ride to my past where my sister and I used to have our fights..* Vietnam flashback*..!!!!
    I loved the "look who s the woman of the house" comment..!!! :) :)

  7. 1) He look sweet, your brother:P
    2) You still have physical fights? Even now?:D
    3) I read through the post again, once I read p.s xP
    4) Britisher?! LOL, you've got to admit he's got style;D
    5) Ratan Ka Rishta? Really?-_-
    6) ROFFLMFAO, he ACTUALLY put up that update? And I thought I'd seen it all *can't stop chuckling every time I think of it*

  8. reminded me of me n my sister :)

  9. i don't have a elder or younger sister to fight with and relate to this post but totally loved it ! haha ...the kiddo (ur bro) is growing ..beware ;)

  10. here is my experience :)

    (P.S : the * Vietnam flashback* i was talking about )

  11. @Anonymous- Give me thy name sir :) Thanks for reading though.
    @Saru Singhal- Yeh he is cute :P. Let him not know that i am praising him.
    @Atrocious Scribblings- He will think i went al mad if i do tht :P...Affection is the last thing we show :D.Thanks!!
    @Reicha Ahluwalia- Thanks a lot my girl!!
    @Binu Thomas- heheh thanks!
    @Superrrnickkk- I read the post and loved it.Pooor you!!
    @PeeVee-Physical fights have reduced especially since i am far far away frm him. But when i go home either there will be harsh exchange of words or one good karate fight. :D Thanks for reading this PeeVee~
    @Sawan- i am glad :)
    @a1gaurav-Yes he is growing up. Buhuhuhu

  12. GOD!! I wish I could be as expressive as you buddy. You always manage to bring a smile with such lines like "I was back to my normal meditating soul " and the P.P.S.
    Thanks for a good laugh, as always.

  13. In the name of the Queen, a fine post :D

  14. Don't tell me you are in London!!!!! No wonder you said *innit* the other day :D

    Are you in harrow :P

    And brothers....Aww! Brother love to suck the blood till the last drop and yet we love!!

  15. :-)

    Well, you can take comfort in the fact that the Britishers have at last got the better of India even if that is just in cricket. :D Do you both, by any chance, happen to play cricket together ?

    Ok. My apologies. I know that even North and South Korea can engage themselves in sport with each other. But you both... :P

  16. Woah.Don't pick up fist fights with brothers who are in their teens.Make use of your punch dialogues.Time flies right?

  17. hahaha... I have a friend who fights with her brother just like this. Sometimes even worse! Britisher and Indian LOL!! He has a good sense of humor!
    And you even gave your name away? :O Was that intentional?

  18. are the blood clots now? :)

    He is 8 years him some mercy...:P

    8 years from today...I am sure...these fights will be part of your conversations :)

  19. What's in a name anyways :)
    You got a reader/fan/admirer and I got what I was looking for. Everyone's happy ;)

  20. @Musings of a Troubled Mind- Hey you are awesome at wording out emotions! Mean it! Thanks a lot!
    @ Sushmit- hahaah thankyou sire! @Chintan- nonono not anywhere outside India. ''Innit'' was just a typing lingo for me. Yes! Brothers!Sumtimes i wonder how i still love him.
    @Shobhit-Cricket? Me? With him? The only game i play with him is the word game, and u just saw it. Also Karate. Heeeh thanks!
    @ Blue Lotus- Time does really fly. He became so biig that i gotta luk up to see his face. My ears rest on his shoulder. But i shall always win!
    @GirlAtFirstAvenue- where did i give my name away !:o did i?Never in my posts i hav mentioned tht.
    @Kunal-Show him mercy? This time he started it. Luk at his size, he is the one who shud b showing mercy. Thanks for reading sirjee! @Anonymous- Ok

  21. i was really liking ur bro through the post, till the part where he cried.
    i have always missed havin a sis, and this post brought that feeling back :(
    gud post buddy.
    btw...u sure this isnt any made up story to cover that actual reason for the "MARK" below ur collar bone and who gave it to u??!! *wink*

  22. What was dat p.p.s about..? Try suggesting him waxing..

    And mark my words, two years from now he wont even want to sit beside u..;-)

  23. Hahah aww! :D LOL, so cute! :P I see my friends and their brothers doing dishoom dishoom all the time! :P

    And urgh, facebook status' :\

  24. ow! he looks cute ^_' but i know how these bros are especially younger :D

  25. @Kalpak-He is cute allright! Mr Pervert on the loose eh???? :P
    @Kanthu- yeh i have some weird people on facebook. My brother already hates me :P
    @Dawnzhang- dishoom dishoom takes the stress away :P
    @Niya- thanks for reading :)

  26. As I was reading your post I made up picture of your brother in my mind, and when I saw the photo I was quite surprised. He looks so cute. Are you sure he gave you those blood clots??

  27. Hahahah brothers I tell you.
    I like the Antarctica part of the conversation. I really think siblings have a good sense of humour, but its just that we ain't ever in the right mood to praise it lol ;)
    I really found it amusing until he cried. :@
    Buuut, i guess it keeps happening with siblings. That's what we're like !

  28. ur bro looks innocent and u made the poor guy cry. England is beating India in everything these days

  29. Your brother looks like he's ready to attack you any time :P But yes, he does look adorable!
    I have an elder sister, and I once punched her on her left ear :P
    Sibling fights can go out of hand, but then, at a point, we miss it :)
    My mum was used to us fighting too :P She stopped bothering after a point! :D

  30. My, how nasty. I guess it is after hearing such accounts that I feel how fortunate I'm to be an only child.

    But, it's worse when your mother of all people steps in to fill the void. Interesting read, even if it was on your expense. ;)

  31. @Sumitra- Yess it was him!My granny is a witness!
    @cricketfreak- oh yes he is! :)
    @Crystal- i make him cry a lot...poor soul he is but sometimes he is the DEVIL
    @Raghu- :D
    @Partha- haha for how long lets c...England is calling it off!
    @Philo- Thats coz i forced him to stand..the pic is from last yr :D
    @Rose- Oh nothing cuter than having a sibling.I love him!

  32. Sibling fight is probably the best kind of fight anyone can be involved in. I'm glad that you guys don't play WWE, officially, and beat the hell out of each other. Phew. Lucky you. :p And the PPS killed me. =))

  33. This reminds me of me and my sister... I tell people in the case me and my sister the sibling rivalry out grew us. i hope you don't, just give him some time to mature i guess...

    Last time me and my sis were fighting like this my mum was screaming and dad got us knives from the kitchen and asked us to jus get it over with. That was the last time we fought (aggressively). Now its all passive. Much more fun, trust me.

  34. hahaa soo cute, me and my sister are also fighting, but im taller than her so i can do anything i want =)

  35. same story bro is 12 yrs younger to me and all v do everyday is fight and fight on petty lil things. and then when mum scolds us both he ends up sleeping besides me listening to a story.
    and ur bro is real cute:)


  36. @Arjit Shrivastava-hehe thanks a lot!
    @CynicalOxymoron- Cute father you got thr!!hahah
    @Kharren- Lucky u :(
    @Subtlescribbler- awww m brother is too old to listen to my stories. Or maybe i am too bad in telling it to him.

  37. This post reminded me of my Brother. We have a 2 year ka difference. The last time we fought physically was when I was in my first year law school. He twisted my arm and unfortunately, I was busy doing something...the sharp shooting pain made me cry and OMG! The panic attack he got. He is 5'10 and I am 5'3...he was hugging me, asking me not to cry and all that! It was hilarious coz I was entrapped somewhere in his hug, suddenly giggling! :D :D

    PS: VERY Nostalgically hilarious!!! :D Oh, and I read the post again too! ;)

  38. hey red handed, youre an indian ryt?

    would u mind teaching me your language?? is it hindi??

  39. Happy to know that you guys sorted it out like adults (at least one of you is one, technically).

  40. Hahahahahahahaaa I say the SAME things to my bro. And the bitch in me feels like a queen :p when he cries!!
    And really, ratan ka rishta :O
    And that update, eeeeeeeeks x_x

  41. So you forced him to pose for a picture?? Haha :D Did he beat you up then? :P

  42. @MSM- Thanks a lot for reading this!!Yes it makes me nostalgic too.I misss the fights and the exchange of words which now seem so funny.Nov 6th it is!!
    @Kharren- I would love to but thr are better options around us. My anonymity might come in between my girl!!
    @Phatichar- haahha thankyou boss!
    @Blah Blaholic-Lol thanks for reading this. Yeh he was totally intot eh RATAN KA RISHTA thing
    @Philo- hehehe no...the elders whr around :P

  43. LOOK AT YOU!! :D
    Hahaha. I can't stop laughing coz the same happens with me too. However, I don't make him cry but i surely abuse him enough and get back the abuses that MY SOUL IS AT PEACE!
    And you are 22? :P

  44. @KN- Yes i am 22 :D I dont want him to cry but then it always happens :P

  45. Hahahaha...reminded me of the fights I used to have with my sister!!! What a time it was, and I think we both hated and loved each other all through those years...

  46. @Siddhartha Joshi- Happy that it was successful in bringing back memories. Thankyou!

  47. Actually after reading this post and laughing at the PS and P.S.S, I sat back and I wish I had a brother.

  48. Don't have a brother :( .. always wanted an elder one.. Aww hope the clots okay now.. :)

  49. Thank God he doesn't consider u as being from Poland...

    As a mallu, Polandinne patti oru aksharamum parayaruthu... athu nanghakku ishtam alla...;)



  50. @Anita-Aww...brothers make great punching bags :P
    @confused soul- Clots have gone!!Thans for commenting!!
    @R-A-J- Loooool i looooooooooooove that one you know!Makes me laugh everytime!

  51. Loved it :) Brilliant Punches :) And yes, now I know how old you are :D

    1. How did you even think abt reading such an old post. Btw I am 24 nw :D


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