Thursday 29 September 2011


I am a very mean person and I am extremely partial. That is what my friend called me for I was deciding whom to give a penny to between two beggars. One was a middle aged woman who looked perfectly healthy with a sleeping child in her arms. The child had mucous overflowing from his button nose. The other beggar was a really old man with gangrene rotting his right leg. I did the reasoning and paid the old man a penny. My friend asked me what was behind my inhumane act since I had a couple of more change in my purse and I could definitely afford a penny for the woman.

So I have my reasoning. I do not drop a penny to any beggar who has not yet hit retirement age and who is physically fine. If you are really old or with something wrong going on with your body, you qualify for a penny. I am not making fun of poor people here; I am just showing my dislike towards begging. If you are not old enough and you are physically fit then you are wrong to choose begging as your paying source. Call me mean and I grin.

Yesterday I broke my LAW. Yes I did and I blame the MANIPULATIVE LORD OF THE WIND for the breach of contract with myself.

I got into a bus which was scheduled to leave the stop in another five minutes or so. I was busy minding my own business of gawking at a hot guy passing by when this woman, clad in a Saree better than my house maid’s, gets inside the bus and starts distributing some sort of a pamphlet. I did not even ask for it! She kept it on my thigh and continued distributing. Since I am an Indian, I am very much used to this game. I could visualize something like “My husband was in the army and I have 3 children. My husband got killed in the Kargil war and I am left just with my children. My younger brother who has cancer also stays with us. Help us with some money”. This woman was so young that having three kids before the Kargil war in which her husband died, shows that she would have got pregnant at the age of 10 or something. But poor me, nobody likes my logic!

I continued not touching the card on my leg and acted as if I was busy Googling about some tribe in Somalia. But this LORD OF THE WIND blew one nasty wind and the card got lifted from my thunder thighs and got settled in the muddiest pothole outside. All I could do was stick my head out of the window and watch the yellow card float on the mud until a bus ran over it.

The woman came back to collect her ‘precious’ and all I could do was show weird hand gestures and point outside. The woman started shouting at me in a voice scarier than my chemistry teacher’s frog tone from back in school.

This beggar woman I tell you was so manipulative that she gained the sentiment of every two legged person in that vehicle. They all looked at me as if I was Ajmal Kasab and did “Tch Tch! Today's kids no respect. World will end in 2012”. Are they actually planning to blame me if ever the world explodes and kills itself?

The beggar asked me to pay her and everyone nodded their heads in unison. I opened my purse, looked at the 1 rupee coins I had and was going to take one out when the fat BITCH of a woman sitting beside me tells me that according to her I should pay around ten rupees to the poor woman. To stop this embarrassment A.S.A.P,I pulled out a crisp ten rupee note and the so called POOR woman snatched it from between my firmly stuck together fingers and fled from the spot.

Why God Why???!!! Was there anything wrong with my reasoning??? Or were you just in a dire need of a hearty laugh????!!! Guess what? Today instead of keeping the cross on my pillow, right beside my head while sleeping, I will keep you under the pillow and keep my head on top of you. NO MORE AIR FOR YOU!! 

P.S- I am heartbroken! I mean really! In my previous post about Lust & Love , I received a comment by a lady from abroad, appreciating the Goddamn painting I used above the post. She liked the colours she says :(. She said nothing about my post but just the image I Googled out. :( 

Image Courtesy-


  1. I follow the same policy, if you're fit enough you work and not beg.

  2. Just been through a quarrel with my Mom half an hour back as she dropped a coin each into the hands of two 10-12 year old boys who were at our door with a burning candle in some pot on the occassion of the start of the 'Navratras', and whom I had personally chased away moments before.

    These are the very guys, who in a few years time, will grow up into good-for-nothing men who will earn a living out of people's blind faith in religion. :-/ X-(

  3. Beggars, I don't give anything to beggars except for food. And, people are so carried away with emotions. There is nothing wrong with your reasoning dear. Also, finding a nice picture on Google is a difficult task, in some .21 seconds, it pulls thousands images. So, you did a great job of searching a picture, which needs an acumen. lol...Enjoy your achievement!


  4. Aah, Beggars can be very persuasive and shrewd at times that it irks us to re-consider the age old saying - Beggars cant be choosers.

    The fake printed letter is a technique followed world over. In some big cities like Paris or Amsterdam I`ve actually seen the beggar give out cards in 4 international languages, WTF !!! Globalization taken to newer heights I tell you. Beggars here in Europe want money to get drunk or get high, can you beat that?

  5. Bravo that you enabled mobile version.

    And fuck the foreign lady. I have seen some crazy umrikans doing that nice lol blah blah thanks for sharing fuckery style. Ignore.

    Its your money. No one in this world got the right to decide where should your money go. You could have told all to fuxk off. No.kidding.

    And now I am.angry. And wish I was there :-\ I totally ignore such women with kids.

  6. I agree with your logic. I follow it too. Its sad but sometimes how they can get.

    Once my sister was riding the bike and I was sitting in the pillion seat and drinking a bottle of coke. The beggar asked me for money, I said no. When i turned away, she snatched my bottle of coke and ran. :\

    So not all of them are innocent. :p Lesson I learnt. :p

    Well written. :)

    Sorry for the long comment. :\

  7. I completly agree with your policy here...
    hehehehe and felt sorry for you rule breaking;p
    and laughed at your sad story mentioned in Last paragraph;p

  8. 1. I once gave 5 rs to a beggar. Then I left the spot. After 5 mins I saw the same man buying cigarette from a shop I was passing by. From then on I just stopped giving anything. But, I offer food to children.

    2. Your thinking is absolutely right. But the world works in a different way. Your right may turn out to be a sin for others. It all depends on whether you care or not for what every other person thinks about you.

    3. I just love logic. Anything that defies logic scares me ~_~

    4. Stay Blessed ^_^

  9. You're lucky she didn't spit on you. A friend of a friend got spat at when she declined giving.

    I give to beggars but not money. There are syndicates out there. We better not promote these by giving money.

    I scare beggars away by saying that I'm with Social Services and they should come with me to the office. They run away after.

  10. Am not sure about your age. but you should be firm on your intent. U felt pity/ or felt you can do something good. and you decided to shell out 1 re. do that get out... Why should embarrasment come in here? you might lose a chance to do some good. :)

    Good luck with manipulative minds !!

  11. I like your policy for beggars. I kind of follow the same thing. What the hell was written in that note anyway? I know they are all sad stories.. but hey there are some good story weavers too. :P

  12. Anything that defies logic scares..... then you are scared of many things?!!

    Its said intuition takes one to great heights. Offcourse intuition is highly logical!

    And Giving is a simple act of caring/sharing, very essential to life, an instinctive act. Giving is inherent some research point out.

  13. Nothing wrong with your way of thinking.. I follow the same login.
    And i know those kind of people... Once there was a young girl who came with a form like that saying she was deaf and dumb and no parents and a hundred other problems... After collecting money from everyone i found her talking on phone to someone.. Talking!!!! 90% of them are all frauds..

    Beggars are the biggest nuisance ever! The way they curse you when you dont give them money... its like they have a RIGHT to demand and you've committed a huge crime by refusing them..
    Then there are child beggars who follow you, pull on your dress and dont leave till you give them something. And if you do give, 10 other kids come and take their place. I keep threatening to drag them to the police station near the bus stop and then they run away!

    You just had some bad luck on the bus... :/

  14. Another kind is when ppl come around begging with snakes. Once wen a lady came with a cobra in a basket n asked for money, I asked her why was she begging. She said it was Show(Wo)manship, and the money was to feed the snake. I asked what her Show(wo)manship was, for which she took out the snake and strtd shuffling it in her hand. Then I grabbed the snake from her hand and opened its mouth with a pen and showed her that it doesn't have fangs and told her that even small children could handle that snake. She fled the scene without a word.

    But my friend refused to touch my hands until I washed them with soap..;-)

  15. that was a trick!! her husband, who apparently dies in kargil, stands outside the bus window holding a fan, that blows away the pamphlet. you wer a part of a major conspiracy that has been running through the ages, across the world.

    OK lame.

    hi5 on exactly similar principles on paying beggars.

    btw...that abroad woman never comin back. you lost a follower there. all u could have said is 'thank you. im glad u liked it. i painted it when i was three'

    funny post, woman.

  16. Funny post!
    You should not have given that 10 Rupee note.
    Btw, I follow the same policy- if you are physically fit, you are not entitled to beg.

  17. You know there are exceptions among beggars too. Once there was this guy with no legs on the train. He was actually wiping the floor of the compartment I was sitting in, just crawling around the place. And in the end, noone gave him any money. I felt so guilty on behalf of the others that I gave him 20 bucks. I am sure he needed it more than me :)

    Btw do check out my blog:

  18. Red why did you buckle? Even if you did you should have thrown out something of the aunties and compensated for it with the same 10 bucks...I've done it...I hate people who don't mid their own business...I use the same logic with the needy as well...I just can't stand the sight of an old man/woman bent over with age walking with that pitiful expression...I also don't like it when kids dance around bare foot in the hot sun...what a future their parents have given them...tch tch...

  19. I follow your very same reasoning. I only give money to old beggars. There was this one old man who would sit on the steps of the foot-bridge near my office. He is the only one I used to give money to daily. In fact, I used to keep a rupee or two aside everyday.
    I stopped giving money to beggars ever since I read 'Q&A' by Vikas Swarup (The book that went on to become Slumdog Millionaire). If you're hale and healthy, you can work. Period.
    My roomie is a journalist. She was telling me about what a big mafia begging is. Especially the ones involving children. Apparently there is a lady who rents out her baby to beggars so that thye can go beg with it. The baby is then returned to her in the evening and hse's paid her 'rent'. Now tho I'm definitely not paying any beggar who has a kid with them.
    There's absolutely nothing wrong with your reson. Anyone who had done a day's worth of honest work and has earned every penny through hard work will agree with you.

    And next time, keep a paper-weight on one of those cards. :)

  20. Nice write :)

  21. I wudnt have paid the tenner if i was u...i do the same thing, i dont give any money to healthy ppl! Why shud i? They r capable of begging but not working!? How come! Anyways, feel bad fro u that u feel into such a tight spot, and tht lady must be rejoicing after getting 10 Rs!

  22. hey...funny post..i am a very lazy saying stuff life one should work hard to earn there living would be quite hypocritical....but i do believe that one should avoid begging if money to all depends on my mood...

    btw visit my blog when you get a chance

  23. It's the same here. I prefer giving money to those who are not fit to work. And better than giving money, I buy a packet of biscuit or something for them to eat.
    I do feel bad for the children, but then.. I prefer helping the old!

  24. I absolutely follow no donation policy with the beggars. If you can beg, you can work. Once, I got a street urchin a wada pav at a station, for the next 10 mins, i was hounded by another 5 along with the kids and sob stories....

  25. Hmmm ...i dont understand why u have to give her the money:/ ...i hate beggars especially the one who used children to beg for them..crazy world outside there =(

  26. Not fair X(

    You said you didn't have any problem with anonymous posts :-/

    And now you have disabled it...

  27. haha...and then you say I am funny!
    i looooooooooooooved the closing lines-putting the cross under the pillow and then the amreecan woman...ROFL:-)

    i am wondering though that why did she shout at you...why did the crowd go in her favour-us paper mein aisa kya tha?;-)

    just chill...koi na, kabhi kabhi instinctively galti sab se hote hain-a lot of times we wish we could do things over-but then there is always a next time:-)

  28. hehehe.. it happens many a time with me.. but being a boy it's easy not to succumb to such public pressures/

    Weakest LINK

  29. I agree with your policy but then me being the fool that I am, I end up giving alms to everybody I can, be it one buck or ten. I know it's bad to foster their bad habits but I can't help feeling sorry for them.

    But in this case, kya yaar, you should have just asked her and the interfere-rs to FO na-_- Nobody should get away with bullying somebody into giving alms.

  30. Completely agree with your thought and logic. Infact, I have even heard these 'healthy' beggars actually give medicines to children who are not from a low profile, so that they can win the sentiments of the people around them. How cheap and desperate! If you are so desperate to get money, go out and work for your money. Not rob people who have worked shit hard for what they have achieved.
    Worse is, when we go out to give a helping hand and give them a one or two rupee coin, they actually look at you like as if you have given them filth! What a world I say!
    And about your P.S! I agree what that lady did was pure non sense. I mean you took so much pain in writing such a beautiful and creative piece, and all she could look and admire was a picture which would have been taken from Google! On the bright side, maybe she is an art lover. You never know. People are definitely weird :P!

  31. thats exactly why you must do more of humor blogging! :D
    er...i know im laughing at someone's misery...but pardon me while i roll around for a minute!
    yeah, i'm done! seriously, begging's joined the list of recently emerging businesses too! we just gotta watch out or we're gonna be conned!
    *still smiling abt the joke*

  32. I don't give anything to beggars.. according to India Today surveys, they make more than I do...

    Nowadays, I just pass by singing "Jai Ho!" n they usually give me a coin to shut up..


  33. Great Logic... I wish everyone who thing this way...
    But there is one bitter truth to this story.. its that they beg because we give them money..!!! even we need to understand that by given a penny you cant help someone.. you can help them by teaching them how to earn a penny...
    Nice post by the way...

  34. Getting conned gives a lousy feeling!! We learn everyday!

  35. I agree with the logic and I never pay a beggar unless I think it's reasonable.. And these pamphlets annoy me BIG time. Humph!

    You know there was a lady around 70-75 yrs of age in the area I lived before and she used to lend money to auto guys in need..No faking, she got rich by begging, but pretended to be really really poor... Sucks really!

  36. @Vijay- Thankyou!
    @Shobhit- So true man!These children will just grow up to be NOTHING.
    @Saru Singhal- Thankyou Saru. I just felt bad about the just appreciating the image part
    @Atrocious Scribblings- really!!!hahahahaha i thought it happened only out here!!!
    @Chintan- Seriously1these umrikans! :P.I wish you could fight for me :P
    @Srinidhi- OMG!Hahahah Poor you.Coke? hahahahahaha
    @Mishi- You laughed!!Hawww.:P
    @Anonymous- Thanks for commenting.
    @Aasiyah- Are you serious???How dare she spit on ur friend. God Ghastly!
    @Anonymous- Thanks for commenting.
    @Sameera- Seriously Bollywood Movies can be made out of them! :P
    @Anonymous- Thanks for commenting.
    @ThegirlatFirstAvenue- Seriously!Its like we have to give them the money.
    @Kanthu- You grabbed a snake and searched for its fangs!!Man you are one courageous man.Wolverine!
    @Kalpak- LOL i liked the trick :P..Smart husband if he actually did tht!
    @Akansha- But i broke it :(
    @Gaya- Yes i agree thr r exceptions.I will definitely check your blog now.
    @The dragon in the skin of a goat- You are right. Absolutely no future!
    @Spaceman Spiff- I too have heard about the whole Mafia about it but you gave me a fresh thought. Renting!!!! OMG!
    @Centre Shocker- Thankyou :)

  37. @Ria- The damage is done :( She might have bought some beedies with it!
    @Oxymoron- Thnks for dropping by.Means a lot.Will check your blog now.
    @Philo- You knwo they sometimes throw the food back to you :P
    @M- seriously you give kid a penny, ten other attack you :P
    @The other side of me- Crazy mad world!! :(
    @Simon Chipmunk- Thanks for commenting.
    @Suruchi- I was too lazy to even read what was in it. Definitely such sexy tale , the way people attacked me :P
    @Rachit- Thanks for commenting sire!!
    @PeeVee-I felt so embaressed, i just wanted the drama to end :(
    @life-a-holic- Art lover eh?:p Hmmm Here also if you give them one rupee they will show you their Money box and ask you to take some :P
    @Indumathy Sukanya- You are so brutal :( Stop laughing NOW :p
    @R-A-J- You have such a bad voice eh? :p.I absolutely hate tht song btw.

  38. @Madhulika- True.A penny cannot change someone's life.Thanks!
    @Rahul Bhatia- I second that sire!Thankyou soo much for visitng and following my blog
    @confused soul- i am too awestruck by your comment that i want to laugh but cannot :P.Thankyou soo much!!

  39. Exactly my policy to give beggars is the same as yours. I hate another lot who beg money, saying they need it for their own wedding...Dirty bitches...

  40. Haahahaa... OMG!! Girl, you are perfect for humour. Got me thinking n laughing together. Good one. Yeah, I support your view. I see beggars who smoke cigarettes and wonder why I gave them money. I was reminded of my ex girlfriend who used to give food to beggars instead of money. That would be a good thing to do now. A plantain or a small packet of biscuit...

  41. Doohoode, I could just see me there ! I follow the policy too. They deserve to work, not to beg. Begging should not even be an option in life. And u have no idea,in Delhi, we were at a traffic light , in an auto, a girl in rags drops in a magazine, we refuse to look that way, she comes back and starts swearing at my mum. and goes to the extend of saying " Saali , thappad maarooongi , khareed le " . But then again, my mum got off an dropped her off at a govt school nearby. The school provides free education and lunch for the kids. When there are better options in life, why be lazy and eat of share of other people's hard earned money !!

  42. Hahah I am sure they would be a lot more fortunate than us :P

  43. I second every bit of your policy. Healthy women with a child on their hip (we wouldn't even know if the child is not hers) beg at every traffic clad signal. It is a shame that such women try to earn easy money instead of working and earning for themselves.
    The incident that happened with you is sure very frustrating. When you know you're right and still are forced to do something because no one else is there to stand by you.
    I really wish someday, I see my country where there are people willing to work and refusing to beg, thus making this beautiful land a better place to live in :)

  44. we have a lot of them here in the philippines, i mean the beggar ones who's healthy enough, yet settled for begging.. and they wouldnt stop bothering you until you hand them a penny..

    i also do that reasoning most of the time... and the bus thing, well i guess you must have given the 1 rupee instead of ten, and havent considered wat the fat bitch was saying.. hehee..

  45. By the way, what was actually mentioned in the pamphlet?? And you paid Rs. 10 !! Lucky woman, I must admit !! Here in Mumbai, I haven't come across people distributing pamphlets and begging... Is it because Kerala has better literacy rate compared to Maharashta ?? :P

  46. Gawd! Beggars in Delhi are so persistent. They grew under the policy of "I won't leave until..." At times they vex the hell out of me.
    I second your policy, and I third it too. :P

  47. There was this one time when I got into a bus full of beggars...and I noticed that after I started looking for a seat...they were so gleeful to see me stand while they sat!! One of them even pushed me away because my bag was hitting her kid (who was trying to break my key-chain)!! Bah! They're such a menace!
    PS: Your posts are wonderful!! You have a great sense of humor!! :D

  48. @Cloud Nine-Makes me happy to know that we share the policy.
    @Musings of a troubled mind- You found humour in my sad story ???:P Thankyou sire!! I too believe in giving food.
    @anjli- Hey what your mother did was absolutely right. My respects!!!!!!
    @The-life-a-holic- I am sure about it :P
    @Priyanka Kamath- I really hope so too!Thanks for commenting!!
    @Kharren- the damage is done :( i fell in the trap. :(
    @Binu Thomas- i dint even read the pamphlet :( Lol literacy rate does matter a lot :P
    @Prateek- hahahah thankyou! Respects!!
    @Anvita Dulluri- Thankyou sooo much Anvita! Thankyou!

  49. well well happens a lot...I was traveling once in train, a kiddie girl of about 7-8 years came..she had a ring (like you'll find in a pressure cooker) and a utensil of some kind..she silently came, used sticks to make sound on that utensil and then did something like gymnasts..I was pretending like i was sleeping, but when she did all this things, i thought it may be wrong, but at least she is not begging like others..I gave her 2 rupee coin...
    well, i remember one more story about i am going to post it can check it at my blog, of course i am going to mention yours there...don't think i am copying, i just remembered two incidents that i can not tell here in visit :)

  50. I have a very differing viewpoint, yet... like the post.

  51. Oh yes they do throw it back. And I have seen little beggar kids going and having tobacco with the money they get.

    Thank you for the comment :)

  52. @Jayendrashan- Yeh kids who are singing or dancing or people who are doing a bit of talent show deserve a penny or two.I will definitely check the post.
    @the mind behind the mindless lampoons- Thankyou
    @Philo- Heh I should thank you!!

  53. There are more senseless people out there... And no one has right to say how much money you should give... Even when we wanted to act sensible, the world out there treats it or rather wants it differently...

  54. cant help but laugh at your whole experience:) your logic is sound though. my worst experience was with a transgender in a long distance train who forced 50 rs by threatening to kiss (shit i didn have change).

    Looks like u have raised a huge debate with ur humor post.

  55. You are so darn right about it.
    I check the physical health of the person first, and then get my pockets empty but otherwise I get those abusive and sinful looks as if i am some sort of a satan.
    A day back, my dad refused to give money to this woman who was all healthy and she started abusing us and damning us.
    We were wonder struck. Though we shouted back at her, but LOOK AT HER MAN.

  56. @Anand-Seriously. Even if it the good things that we want, the people around take it in the wrong way.Thankyou sooo much!
    @Partha- Heh good to know that you laughed :P. Transgender threatened to kiss you!!!!!!????Lol
    @KN- Some beggars especially the old women get abusive because they know that noone will raise hands at them. Thanks for reading this my girl!

  57. I used to follow the same thing with beggars as you did, until I read this poem by Khalil Gibran, "On Giving". It kind of changed the entire way I look at the whole act of giving. Please Google and read when you find the time. :-)

  58. :O
    Tch the people in the bus nowadays!
    I guess i would have done the same thing too.

    Ps: the lady must've just seen the picture and would ave wanted u to comment on her blog. so she must have left u a comment on urs.

  59. @SUMITRA- Thank you so much! Yes i will definitely give it a read
    @Happy Go Lucky- thankyou or commenting my girl . Feels so nice to be read.

  60. Well, well, that's a nice a policy to choose between the beggars. I mostly cold-heartedly shun them out of my face! So, no need to think about mercy and all that crap!

    And you gave 10rupee note to avoid a fight! Where did the bhartiya abla naari skills got lost in you??? :D


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